Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Saturday Night the 9th
on this particular night about two of them ago i went to a gig at the starline put on by Ticket To Ride. got there early as usual and set up camp on the wallbench. it was 8:45 and no one was there yet. about 25 people, but no one i knew. i took a walk and wound up in front of the stage. this is what i shot:
very soon after, the friends i was expecting arrived. not all at once. and not at all together. drinking ensued as did tactless jokes:
somewhere (in all of the joviality) the band showed up:
then the drunk brit exposed himself, wet all over the bar and performed the most herculean projectile diarama i have ever seen:
he was subsequently invited up on stage to reprise his cameo with the band:
after that, well...we had us a beatle rave. or a bugrant. whichever y'all wanna call it:
except for stan who never raves or rants. he is an island in the sea of chaos:
however, chaos soon reintervened:
women were talking to men, men were listening, drunks kept being drinked, a camera's flash wasn't on, and liaisons erupted like pimples on a cold sore (have no idea who is in this picture, but, shit, it looks sexy, don't it?):
finally, it got bad. everyone was feeling blurry. but still dancing and carrying on as if it was the end of the world...(which it could be, i suppose...if i hadn't just sent $100 to pat robertson to save the souls of the jews and get him to tell God that i really am wealthy and ready to ascend after the Fresno Fair):
and that's what i remember. i do not remember leaving early, because my blood sugar had dropped precipitously. i do not remember waiting at the checkin at lipari's for 5 minutes and then leaving. nor do i remember going to livingstone's and sitting, ordering and waiting for a chicken salad. i don't remember getting up and asking for the chicken salad to be boxed. i didn't know i wouldn't go back to the club to tell people i had to get home and eat NOW! i do remember someone getting home later and asking me what happened and being okay with it.
i got even by kicking her out of bed in my sleep.
update (9:55 pm): yahtzee is a fun game and was just played to christen my oak table.
i'm pretty sure katie cheated. i don't think you're allowed to roll four 2's and a 4 and call it six of a kind the hard way.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Amazing What Friends Will Send Me
i received the following missive in my email inbox today. normally, this emailer sends "jokes". i just thought i would share it with you, because it made me reflect on the importance of only exalting God so that i might live forever (and i mean that in the corporeal sense based on the following):
NEVER MOCK GOD!
Make a personal reflection about this.
Very interesting, read until the end.It is written in the Bible
(Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Here are some men and women who mocked God:
JOHN LENNON:Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.
TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil):During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being ma de President, then he died.
CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you." He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.
THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe he said: "Not even God can sink it" The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.
MARILYN MONROE:She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus". A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.
BON SCOTT:The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005 In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU."She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, CAUSE INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL"Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact. The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none were broken.....Boot means trunk.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!
P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said "If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father."What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul? What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Mathew16:26).
NEVER MOCK GOD!
Make a personal reflection about this.
Very interesting, read until the end.It is written in the Bible
(Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Here are some men and women who mocked God:
JOHN LENNON:Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.
TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil):During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being ma de President, then he died.
CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you." He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.
THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe he said: "Not even God can sink it" The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.
MARILYN MONROE:She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus". A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.
BON SCOTT:The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005 In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU."She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, CAUSE INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL"Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact. The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none were broken.....Boot means trunk.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!
P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said "If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father."What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul? What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Mathew16:26).
Vote For Evans Or The Librul Might Win
DeLay no 'Idol' threat
Former majority leader urges Republicans to vote for 'Dancing' contestant
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Tom DeLay once twisted arms for votes in Congress.
Now the former U.S. House majority leader is rounding up votes for ABC's "Dancing With the Stars."
That's right. DeLay has e-mailed his supporters urging them to vote weekly for contestant Sara Evans, a country singer who sang at the 2004 Republican convention because she "represents good American values."
It wouldn't be DeLay if he didn't find a cultural split among the contestants.
"One of her opponents on the show is ultra-liberal, talk-show host Jerry Springer," DeLay wrote. "We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans."
Will political scientists track Evans success or failure as a harbinger of the mid-term Congressional elections?
Who's next on DeLay's radar: "Survivor" or "American Idol"?
Admit it: You'd watch a smackdown between DeLay and Simon Cowell.
(the above is from the Statesman and I can't vouch for its authenticity, although it sounds exactly like something the "Hammer" would pull...or pound...or hit on...)
some quotes from the news today:
On Tuesday, kicking off the mid-term elections campaign, Bush delivered a speech that cited Bin Laden's screeds, Lenin's What Is To Be Done? and Hitler's Mein Kampf, and promised "complete victory". Rice contributed her own comparison of the "war on terror" to the American civil war. "I'm sure there are people who thought it was a mistake to fight the civil war to its end and to insist that the emancipation of slaves would hold," she said.
But the more delirious the rhetoric, the more hollow the policy. "There is no plan for Iraq," a senior national security official with the highest intelligence clearance and access to the relevant memos told me. "There is no plan."
· Sidney Blumenthal is a former senior adviser to President Clinton
Newsman to Tony Snow (Bush's Press Secretary during a press conference):
"Don't point your finger at me".
Richard C. Woollam, who was transferred to BP's Houston offices in 2005 amid concerns that he intimidated potential whistleblowers, invoked the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution in refusing to answer all questions from a House subcommittee.
Oil services contractor Halliburton Co. said Tuesday it has received a contract worth more than $70 million (€54.6 million) for cementing and related services from the Abu Dhabi Company for Onshore Oil Production.
Former majority leader urges Republicans to vote for 'Dancing' contestant
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Tom DeLay once twisted arms for votes in Congress.
Now the former U.S. House majority leader is rounding up votes for ABC's "Dancing With the Stars."
That's right. DeLay has e-mailed his supporters urging them to vote weekly for contestant Sara Evans, a country singer who sang at the 2004 Republican convention because she "represents good American values."
It wouldn't be DeLay if he didn't find a cultural split among the contestants.
"One of her opponents on the show is ultra-liberal, talk-show host Jerry Springer," DeLay wrote. "We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans."
Will political scientists track Evans success or failure as a harbinger of the mid-term Congressional elections?
Who's next on DeLay's radar: "Survivor" or "American Idol"?
Admit it: You'd watch a smackdown between DeLay and Simon Cowell.
(the above is from the Statesman and I can't vouch for its authenticity, although it sounds exactly like something the "Hammer" would pull...or pound...or hit on...)
some quotes from the news today:
On Tuesday, kicking off the mid-term elections campaign, Bush delivered a speech that cited Bin Laden's screeds, Lenin's What Is To Be Done? and Hitler's Mein Kampf, and promised "complete victory". Rice contributed her own comparison of the "war on terror" to the American civil war. "I'm sure there are people who thought it was a mistake to fight the civil war to its end and to insist that the emancipation of slaves would hold," she said.
But the more delirious the rhetoric, the more hollow the policy. "There is no plan for Iraq," a senior national security official with the highest intelligence clearance and access to the relevant memos told me. "There is no plan."
· Sidney Blumenthal is a former senior adviser to President Clinton
Newsman to Tony Snow (Bush's Press Secretary during a press conference):
"Don't point your finger at me".
Richard C. Woollam, who was transferred to BP's Houston offices in 2005 amid concerns that he intimidated potential whistleblowers, invoked the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution in refusing to answer all questions from a House subcommittee.
Oil services contractor Halliburton Co. said Tuesday it has received a contract worth more than $70 million (€54.6 million) for cementing and related services from the Abu Dhabi Company for Onshore Oil Production.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Bin Laden Got Back
from ABC News.com (that vital so non-partisan bastion of a free press that's also broadcasting the 9/11 docudrama that blames former president clinton for not killing bin laden and thereby causing 9/11 to happen) comes this little not a bombshell bit of news:
Bin Laden Gets a Pass from Pakistan
September 05, 2006 5:41 PM
Brian Ross and Gretchen Peters Report:
Osama bin Laden, America's most wanted man, will not face capture in Pakistan if he agrees to lead a "peaceful life," Pakistani officials tell ABC News.
The surprising announcement comes as Pakistani army officials announced they were pulling their troops out of the North Waziristan region as part of a "peace deal" with the Taliban.
If he is in Pakistan, bin Laden "would not be taken into custody," Major General Shaukat Sultan Khan told ABC News in a telephone interview, "as long as one is being like a peaceful citizen."
Bin Laden is believed to be hiding somewhere in the tribal areas of Pakistan, near the Afghanistan border, but U.S. officials say his precise location is unknown.
In addition to the pullout of Pakistani troops, the "peace agreement" between Pakistan and the Taliban also provides for the Pakistani army to return captured Taliban weapons and prisoners.
"What this means is that the Taliban and al Qaeda leadership have effectively carved out a sanctuary inside Pakistan," said ABC News consultant Richard Clarke, the former White House counter-terrorism director.
The agreement was signed on the same day President Bush said the United States was working with its allies "to deny terrorists the enclaves they seek to establish in ungoverned areas across the world."
The Pakistani Army had gone into Waziristan, under heavy pressure from the United States, but faced a series of humiliating defeats at the hands of the Taliban and al Qaeda fighters.
"They're throwing the towel," said Alexis Debat, who is a Senior Fellow at the Nixon Center and an ABC News consultant. "They're giving al Qaeda and the Taliban a blank check and saying essentially make yourselves at home in the tribal areas," Debat said.
p.s. check this video out (may have to wait through the ad) for the most pissed off cat i have ever seen. i would adopt it in a heartbeat.
Bin Laden Gets a Pass from Pakistan
September 05, 2006 5:41 PM
Brian Ross and Gretchen Peters Report:
Osama bin Laden, America's most wanted man, will not face capture in Pakistan if he agrees to lead a "peaceful life," Pakistani officials tell ABC News.
The surprising announcement comes as Pakistani army officials announced they were pulling their troops out of the North Waziristan region as part of a "peace deal" with the Taliban.
If he is in Pakistan, bin Laden "would not be taken into custody," Major General Shaukat Sultan Khan told ABC News in a telephone interview, "as long as one is being like a peaceful citizen."
Bin Laden is believed to be hiding somewhere in the tribal areas of Pakistan, near the Afghanistan border, but U.S. officials say his precise location is unknown.
In addition to the pullout of Pakistani troops, the "peace agreement" between Pakistan and the Taliban also provides for the Pakistani army to return captured Taliban weapons and prisoners.
"What this means is that the Taliban and al Qaeda leadership have effectively carved out a sanctuary inside Pakistan," said ABC News consultant Richard Clarke, the former White House counter-terrorism director.
The agreement was signed on the same day President Bush said the United States was working with its allies "to deny terrorists the enclaves they seek to establish in ungoverned areas across the world."
The Pakistani Army had gone into Waziristan, under heavy pressure from the United States, but faced a series of humiliating defeats at the hands of the Taliban and al Qaeda fighters.
"They're throwing the towel," said Alexis Debat, who is a Senior Fellow at the Nixon Center and an ABC News consultant. "They're giving al Qaeda and the Taliban a blank check and saying essentially make yourselves at home in the tribal areas," Debat said.
p.s. check this video out (may have to wait through the ad) for the most pissed off cat i have ever seen. i would adopt it in a heartbeat.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
The Amazing Levitating Pith Post HNT
Some of you may know about the Almighty Pith and the way in which i loved it up in my last HNT. Some of you may know that it belongs to Lecram. Some of you may know that lately Lecram has been leaving his helmet behind when making a grand exit. none of you, however, know (until now) that I have unlocked its magical powers. I, yes I, have opened its little box of fairy dust and managed to create........The Levitating Pith!
Here in picture #1 you see me caressing its contours in order to coax out its witchy potential:
After a few minutes in which I called on the supernatural powers to help and guide me in my most mysterious and arduous task I was able to release the Pith and let float gently on the wings of my wind:
And, finally, I was able to recline and enjoy the awe of magic well done. Now you might be thinking I used some earthly mechanism to prop the pith aloft. Verily, though, i say to you that this pith touched not my body in any fashion. It is truly magic:
Thus ends this week's HNT. Thus continues the defiling and desacration of Lecram's Pith. Happy HNT, everyone!
P.S. According to a recent HNT post of Katie's I will only get my hat back if I do a full frontal HNT. I believe that this should qualify. What say all of you?
Here in picture #1 you see me caressing its contours in order to coax out its witchy potential:
After a few minutes in which I called on the supernatural powers to help and guide me in my most mysterious and arduous task I was able to release the Pith and let float gently on the wings of my wind:
And, finally, I was able to recline and enjoy the awe of magic well done. Now you might be thinking I used some earthly mechanism to prop the pith aloft. Verily, though, i say to you that this pith touched not my body in any fashion. It is truly magic:
Thus ends this week's HNT. Thus continues the defiling and desacration of Lecram's Pith. Happy HNT, everyone!P.S. According to a recent HNT post of Katie's I will only get my hat back if I do a full frontal HNT. I believe that this should qualify. What say all of you?
it's funny how when i start thinking of changing companies in search of better financial security my guts get all wiggly. but i sent out the emails with my resume that i needed to. now i only hope it isn't seven months before they even consider me. oh well. my current job isn't so bad as they go. it just doesn't pay very well for the skills i possess. certain among you may be used as references. so let me know now if that isn't a good thing to do. other than that, i got nothing. so i'm outta here.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!
did donald "the fuck" rumsfeld just call me an appeaser? because i think this so-called war in iraq is a fuckup of the nth magnitude? because i think that invading iraq was something that was on the table long before 9/11 even happened? because i was yelling about the fact that none of the bush administration's arguments for invasion actually squared with the information coming out of any of the intelligence agencies? because, while i had nothing against going into afghanistan to root out al quaeda (since they were nested there and the taliban had publicly proclaimed its support for the group), i had just a teensy weensy little problemo with taking out saddam hussein under the totally crap guise of destroying his WMDs? which didn't exist in the first place and EVERYBODY in the intelligence community knew it? because i think that donald, dick and george don't care about stopping terrorism so long as it makes them and theirs lots and lots of money? because i'm convinced that george believes he is doing God's will by bringing about some kind of Armageddon in his lifetime? because i believe that adding "by killing people" to everything these "neocons" say makes what they say the truth (got that from jag)? because i believe that $212 million and more could be better spent securing our country than it could bombing and shooting iraq back to whatever came four ages before the Stone one? because i believe that power is first and foremost in the minds of these thugs who rule our country and couldn't care less about the concept of governance?
remember that those who rush to war and call others appeasers are usually, in fact, the very ones who should be feared the most.
do we need to protect ourselves from harm at this time in history? you bet. but at what time in history shouldn't we have? at what time in history did we not have enemies who would destroy our way of life given the chance? never. as soon as we declared independence from the english we had an enemy dedicated to our quick demise. as soon as we began landgrabbing we had enemies in the french and germans, then the indians and mexicans. any and all of them would gladly have slit our throats in order to rebalance the board as it were.
now we have an enemy who has decided to fight us here rather than over there (if you believe our administration) so we must fight THEM over THERE instead of here.
but we can't even take care of ourselves. we can't even stop fighting with ourselves over healthcare, gay marriage, hurricane katrina, south of the border immigration control, voting irregularities, alternative fuel sources, global warming, the minimum wage, race relations, blahblahblah...
if you want a country unified against a common foreign enemy, then unify it by coming together on those things that affect it in its daily life. come together in the spirit of everyone belonging to each other. come together, because we're all we've got when we get up in the morning and walk out our doors. we are all different, yet we all are the same. we are the same in our basic needs. we are different in how we approach them. we are the same in bits and bytes and stems and seeds. we are different in how we smoke it. we are the same in wanting the high that comes with being american and human.
so, donald, don't call me an appeaser. call me your brother who wants to walk a different path to the same destination.
you fuck.
remember that those who rush to war and call others appeasers are usually, in fact, the very ones who should be feared the most.
do we need to protect ourselves from harm at this time in history? you bet. but at what time in history shouldn't we have? at what time in history did we not have enemies who would destroy our way of life given the chance? never. as soon as we declared independence from the english we had an enemy dedicated to our quick demise. as soon as we began landgrabbing we had enemies in the french and germans, then the indians and mexicans. any and all of them would gladly have slit our throats in order to rebalance the board as it were.
now we have an enemy who has decided to fight us here rather than over there (if you believe our administration) so we must fight THEM over THERE instead of here.
but we can't even take care of ourselves. we can't even stop fighting with ourselves over healthcare, gay marriage, hurricane katrina, south of the border immigration control, voting irregularities, alternative fuel sources, global warming, the minimum wage, race relations, blahblahblah...
if you want a country unified against a common foreign enemy, then unify it by coming together on those things that affect it in its daily life. come together in the spirit of everyone belonging to each other. come together, because we're all we've got when we get up in the morning and walk out our doors. we are all different, yet we all are the same. we are the same in our basic needs. we are different in how we approach them. we are the same in bits and bytes and stems and seeds. we are different in how we smoke it. we are the same in wanting the high that comes with being american and human.
so, donald, don't call me an appeaser. call me your brother who wants to walk a different path to the same destination.
you fuck.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
A Moosical Post
"Cows have regional accents, a group of British farmers claims, and phonetics experts say the idea is not as far-fetched as it sounds."
i believe it. after all, new york birds say "choip" and new york pigs say "ernk".
update: a friend sent me this picture and i thought i should share it with you: it's a male camel toe. what accent do YOU think it speaks with?
i believe it. after all, new york birds say "choip" and new york pigs say "ernk".
update: a friend sent me this picture and i thought i should share it with you: it's a male camel toe. what accent do YOU think it speaks with?
Monday, August 21, 2006
Well, he said it...finally. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. And when did we come to have a "freedom agenda"? Seriously, Bush admits that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 and who's going to call him on all of the crap propaganda his administration was trotting out in the run-up to our invasion concerning Iraq's ties to al-quaeda and its backing of the group? Watch the video and listen for yourself to his bluster, defensiveness, dismissal, and condescension. Right there and then is the bullet by which he should be brought down.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Rantless Thursday
Note to Steph: why should I go on a rant about the Jon Benet Ramsey case? Why should I care? Thousands of little children are murdered each year. The majority of them are not white and garner no attention from the Press, national OR local. So, a blue-eyed, blond haired dress-up doll was brutally victimized by someone (we still can't be sure even with a professed confession). So what? It's not the murder that is so heinous as it is the manner in which she was being raised by her parents. Do you remember the photo stills that made her to look as if she was giving a come-hither pose? Do you remember the pageant videotapes in which she flirted with the camera as if she were ten years older (which still would have left her a minor)? Do you remember the parents who wouldn't allow police access to certain parts of their lives, documents and interviews while claiming the whole time that they were innocent? What did they have to hide? What was so shameful that they couldn't speak to the police in order to help find her killer? It's not her death that I find despicable. It's the manner in which she was led to it by parents who cared more for the glamour she brought them than the light she carried within. This was not a financially strapped family hoping to enrich an otherwise bleak future with her possible success in the modeling field. This was a family obsessed with caste, not cash. This was a pair of parents who looked outward to others within their social class and decided for their child what she would do and become. Jon Benet was a Barbie in every sense of the word, dressed and made up and told who she was at all times by the very people she trusted to take care of her and allow her to grow up as an individual. I think of her and Paris Hilton comes to mind: vapid, vaccuous and inured to the realities of the everyday world by money and manipulation.
Perhaps, they have found her killer. In my mind, though, that does not exonerate her parents one whit. They lied to the police, they refused to cooperate with the police, they hired lawyers to shield them from the police and they accused the police of targeting them (which all police do in this situation, because most often it is a family member or family friend who did the deed). They used this little girl for their ends. They made her up to look like a tart, then basked in the glow of her lolita-esque success. They claimed there was nothing wrong with what they did, that beauty pageants were good, clean, wholesome fun for little girls. They would not "see" what she looked like as she pranced around on stage and made suggestive dance moves that adult males were watching. They were creating a Madonna/Whore. Innocent, yet seductive. Chaste, but naughty. And all for the almighty dollar. All for the vicarious thrill. All to kick sand in the faces of the Joneses. All because they could not do it themselves.
That's the tragedy of this. Not that she was murdered, not that she never had a chance to grow up. But that this happened to her, because the very people she should have been able to trust with her life chose to use her in an absolutely indefensible and disgusting way to fulfill some neglible void in their neglible lives and it incited someone else to kill her.
And that's why I won't write a rant, Steph. Because it would (in my mind) just add more attention to a family that deserves none. Jon Benet was not a real girl like the ones we see running to school every day. She was a plastic figurine her parents bent into a new shape every day as it suited them. They did not give birth to a real child. They ordered one from Mattel. And they incited lust within the bodies of grown men by dressing her up as a prom queen and coquette every chance they had. So, fuck them.
By the by, they've made quite a bundle from their interviews with the press and the books they authorized to be written, yes?
Oh, and I know the mother died recently. But I don't care. The fact that she died doesn't make up for what she did to her child before then.
So, no rant today from me, Steph. Sorry.
Perhaps, they have found her killer. In my mind, though, that does not exonerate her parents one whit. They lied to the police, they refused to cooperate with the police, they hired lawyers to shield them from the police and they accused the police of targeting them (which all police do in this situation, because most often it is a family member or family friend who did the deed). They used this little girl for their ends. They made her up to look like a tart, then basked in the glow of her lolita-esque success. They claimed there was nothing wrong with what they did, that beauty pageants were good, clean, wholesome fun for little girls. They would not "see" what she looked like as she pranced around on stage and made suggestive dance moves that adult males were watching. They were creating a Madonna/Whore. Innocent, yet seductive. Chaste, but naughty. And all for the almighty dollar. All for the vicarious thrill. All to kick sand in the faces of the Joneses. All because they could not do it themselves.
That's the tragedy of this. Not that she was murdered, not that she never had a chance to grow up. But that this happened to her, because the very people she should have been able to trust with her life chose to use her in an absolutely indefensible and disgusting way to fulfill some neglible void in their neglible lives and it incited someone else to kill her.
And that's why I won't write a rant, Steph. Because it would (in my mind) just add more attention to a family that deserves none. Jon Benet was not a real girl like the ones we see running to school every day. She was a plastic figurine her parents bent into a new shape every day as it suited them. They did not give birth to a real child. They ordered one from Mattel. And they incited lust within the bodies of grown men by dressing her up as a prom queen and coquette every chance they had. So, fuck them.
By the by, they've made quite a bundle from their interviews with the press and the books they authorized to be written, yes?
Oh, and I know the mother died recently. But I don't care. The fact that she died doesn't make up for what she did to her child before then.
So, no rant today from me, Steph. Sorry.
Friday, August 11, 2006
5.1 Surround Sound System
i don't know about you, but after a long night of drinking with friends down at the local watering hole it's nice to come home, open the box containing my new surround sound speakers that i got for 1/4 of the price circuit city was asking ($200), hook it up and experience massive noise fulminating from my wall. previously, i had two altec lansing speakers doing the bidness for me (and they do rock), but my wall air conditioner made them sound like two week old pussy kittens mewling for an extra bit of milk. now, i am concerned that my neighbors will never sleep again. i know i won't. i know i don't want to. music is good. loud music is better. pissing off the neighbors is bestest. plus, they're having a party tomorrow night and i will not sleep until they are done. good thing i'm invited. good thing i invited my own peeps. good thing i have booze stov=cked. good thing i own a gun. oh, shit. i sold it. good thing i own knives. good thing i'm a pacifist. good thing i like to drink. see you there. or here. or in between. you're all invited. if you know how to get here. up to you, not me.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Father Mechanic
for any of you going through lecram withdrawal i offer this little ditty, which you won't like nearly as much, but i don't care. so long as someone gets offended.
FATHER MECHANIC
(Scene: A mechanic's garage, front office. The waiting room. Bob is at the counter. Man enters, kneels and genuflects beneath the Tire Iron Cross on the wall. Approaches counter. Bob doesn't notice. Man waits a bit, finally rings the bell on the counter. Bob looks up, gives beatific smile. )
Bob: And another greasemonkey gets his flanges. Yes, my son?
Man: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 3,116 miles since my last confession.
Bob: You are overdue, but it's a venal sin. Tell me all.
Man: I mixed 20/50 oil with the 10/40 you prescribed.
Bob: Hmmm. What else, my son?
Man: My battery is trying to give up the Holy Ghost.
Bob: Ah. Are you having trouble in the morning infusing it with the Holy Spirit?
Man: Yes, Father Bob.
Bob: It could be a cable straying from the flock.
Man: There's more.
Bob: Go on, child.
Man: It shames me.
Bob: There is no shame when you repent before the True Light of the Tire Iron. Go on.
Man: Last month I tried to adjust the brakes myself.
Bob: Sweet Mother of All That Is Oily. That is serious. Why?
Man: The shoes were beginning to speak in tongues. I was scared. I heard weird sounds and voices in a harsh metallic language and tortuous screeches like demented, lost souls each time I attempted to control my automotive Ass. I panicked and tried to exorcise them with my Lay Wrench.
Bob: But you were not successful?
Man: No. Now my Ass balks and shudders when I wish it to simply stop.
Bob: It is good you have come to confess. I only wish it were sooner. I can save your Beast of Burden, your locomotive Ass. I comprehend the various tongues of the Devil and I can talk to your Ass. But I must know if you have told me all. Is your Ass flatulent and does its exhaust reek?
Man: Yes.
Bob: When put to bed at night does it complain and refuse to settle down in a timely fashion?
Man: Yes, Father Bob.
Bob: And, when unsupervised, does it excrete a dark, viscous discharge onto the floor from behind its manly pipe?
Man: Yes!
Bob: And you say it's been 3,116 miles since I last looked at your Ass?
Man: Yes.
Bob: By any chance, was part of your Ass manufactured by Germans?
Man: No, it's a fine American Ass. Corn fed.
Bob: Ethanol, eh? If I didn't believe in the Divine Schismatics I'd say your Ass was infested with demons. Wormwood. But I believe in the Healing Power of the Diagnostic. Your Ass will reveal all when I attach my clamps to its fuel-injected nipples and stick my probe up its glasspacked tail orifice.
Man: Thank you, Bob! Thank you! What is my penance?
Bob: (toting up on a calculator) Oil change, valve and brake adjustment, timing, tire rotation, smog check, oil filter, fuel filter, ring replacement, crankcase seal, biorythmic enhancement, possible Deomnic possesion and four mea culpas...$414.17. Oh and pray for a Hail Mary in tomorrow's Notre Dame game, would you? I have a twenty riding on it. Now, go and sin no more for the next 3000 miles.
(Man exits and at the same time a woman enters. Woman genuflects and approaches Bob)
Woman: Forgive me, Bob, for I have sinned. Can you remove semen stains from leather upholstery and unwrap a bra from my rear axle before my father returns tonight from his vacation?
Bob: I'm not omnipotent, child. Go next door to John Paul and Traci of Lourdes Miracle Car Wash.
FATHER MECHANIC
(Scene: A mechanic's garage, front office. The waiting room. Bob is at the counter. Man enters, kneels and genuflects beneath the Tire Iron Cross on the wall. Approaches counter. Bob doesn't notice. Man waits a bit, finally rings the bell on the counter. Bob looks up, gives beatific smile. )
Bob: And another greasemonkey gets his flanges. Yes, my son?
Man: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 3,116 miles since my last confession.
Bob: You are overdue, but it's a venal sin. Tell me all.
Man: I mixed 20/50 oil with the 10/40 you prescribed.
Bob: Hmmm. What else, my son?
Man: My battery is trying to give up the Holy Ghost.
Bob: Ah. Are you having trouble in the morning infusing it with the Holy Spirit?
Man: Yes, Father Bob.
Bob: It could be a cable straying from the flock.
Man: There's more.
Bob: Go on, child.
Man: It shames me.
Bob: There is no shame when you repent before the True Light of the Tire Iron. Go on.
Man: Last month I tried to adjust the brakes myself.
Bob: Sweet Mother of All That Is Oily. That is serious. Why?
Man: The shoes were beginning to speak in tongues. I was scared. I heard weird sounds and voices in a harsh metallic language and tortuous screeches like demented, lost souls each time I attempted to control my automotive Ass. I panicked and tried to exorcise them with my Lay Wrench.
Bob: But you were not successful?
Man: No. Now my Ass balks and shudders when I wish it to simply stop.
Bob: It is good you have come to confess. I only wish it were sooner. I can save your Beast of Burden, your locomotive Ass. I comprehend the various tongues of the Devil and I can talk to your Ass. But I must know if you have told me all. Is your Ass flatulent and does its exhaust reek?
Man: Yes.
Bob: When put to bed at night does it complain and refuse to settle down in a timely fashion?
Man: Yes, Father Bob.
Bob: And, when unsupervised, does it excrete a dark, viscous discharge onto the floor from behind its manly pipe?
Man: Yes!
Bob: And you say it's been 3,116 miles since I last looked at your Ass?
Man: Yes.
Bob: By any chance, was part of your Ass manufactured by Germans?
Man: No, it's a fine American Ass. Corn fed.
Bob: Ethanol, eh? If I didn't believe in the Divine Schismatics I'd say your Ass was infested with demons. Wormwood. But I believe in the Healing Power of the Diagnostic. Your Ass will reveal all when I attach my clamps to its fuel-injected nipples and stick my probe up its glasspacked tail orifice.
Man: Thank you, Bob! Thank you! What is my penance?
Bob: (toting up on a calculator) Oil change, valve and brake adjustment, timing, tire rotation, smog check, oil filter, fuel filter, ring replacement, crankcase seal, biorythmic enhancement, possible Deomnic possesion and four mea culpas...$414.17. Oh and pray for a Hail Mary in tomorrow's Notre Dame game, would you? I have a twenty riding on it. Now, go and sin no more for the next 3000 miles.
(Man exits and at the same time a woman enters. Woman genuflects and approaches Bob)
Woman: Forgive me, Bob, for I have sinned. Can you remove semen stains from leather upholstery and unwrap a bra from my rear axle before my father returns tonight from his vacation?
Bob: I'm not omnipotent, child. Go next door to John Paul and Traci of Lourdes Miracle Car Wash.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
The Celibate Life
they say that the hardest part of quitting any drug is the first so many hours or days. then it's a matter of putting the psychological behind you.
first, you leech out the chemical you've abused, then you change your lifestyle to move away from the habitual ritual.
why then am i, after only being on a medication for three weeks and now off it for a full week, still having the random regimen of withdrawal symptoms that turns me into an asshole and recluse as i combat the hypertension? i went through this last wednesday and (now again today). grinding jaw, neck and shoulder tension, dark cave searching. i'm damn well not going to take another pill to mitigate this, but fuck if i've ever been through this type of thing before. and the shit was prescribed to me for quitting smoking! i did a bit of weaning before i stopped, but i guess it wasn't enough.
sorry to any of you who have had to deal with this so far.
which leads me to the topic of:
paris hilton. she's giving up sex for a year. a whole year. 365 days (i don't know if she's counting holidays). she's 25 years old and tired of the games, by gum! the naughty videos, the paparazzi, all of it. she gets lady di. she really does. so much so that she is going to go 8,760 hours sans the the baloney pony...525,600 minutes without a muscle in her bustle...31,536,000 seconds not attending a premiere at the Hard Cock Cafe. that seems a long time without a skank shank.
if the average woman lives to be 80 nowadays, this means that paris is declaring herself offlimits to the bloke poke for .08% of her lifetime. laudable, but what does it really mean? she claims that she has only had sex with two men so far and she is 25. according to these numbers, she has been having sex with a different man on an average of 12.5 years so far. at this pace (if she lives to the average age) she will have sex with 6.4 men. and if we equate heighth with a whole number, she will only have to have sex with tom cruise once to take care of the .4.
to put this in perspective, let's say that i am (hypothetically) 41 and i have had sex with (hypothetically) 35 different women. in order for me to remain celibate for an equivalent amount of time based on the number of encounters i've had in my life vs. hers i would need to...
cut my dick off? well, that can't be right. ah, 4.1 years. and i have done this multiple times with no effort. and i can tell you that, after the second year, you don't even notice anymore.
however, i think it is safe to say that she really doesn't need to take a year off from the public eye sexually in order to maintain her (for lack of a better word) virtuessness or virtuosity or...whatever. but she should think about the fact that she has had sex with only two men and one has made a videotape that she knowingly engaged in. that's one out of two, which equals over her standard lifetime to 3.2 naughty videos that she knows of. that i know of.
that she knows of...
so, i take my hat off to paris hilton, but that is all. for now. and i think i speak for all of us when i say that this would make for one hell of a reality show ala The Simple Life. call it The Celibate Life.
edit: redid the math. paris will have to have sex with tom cruise twice to make up for that .4.
first, you leech out the chemical you've abused, then you change your lifestyle to move away from the habitual ritual.
why then am i, after only being on a medication for three weeks and now off it for a full week, still having the random regimen of withdrawal symptoms that turns me into an asshole and recluse as i combat the hypertension? i went through this last wednesday and (now again today). grinding jaw, neck and shoulder tension, dark cave searching. i'm damn well not going to take another pill to mitigate this, but fuck if i've ever been through this type of thing before. and the shit was prescribed to me for quitting smoking! i did a bit of weaning before i stopped, but i guess it wasn't enough.
sorry to any of you who have had to deal with this so far.
which leads me to the topic of:
paris hilton. she's giving up sex for a year. a whole year. 365 days (i don't know if she's counting holidays). she's 25 years old and tired of the games, by gum! the naughty videos, the paparazzi, all of it. she gets lady di. she really does. so much so that she is going to go 8,760 hours sans the the baloney pony...525,600 minutes without a muscle in her bustle...31,536,000 seconds not attending a premiere at the Hard Cock Cafe. that seems a long time without a skank shank.
if the average woman lives to be 80 nowadays, this means that paris is declaring herself offlimits to the bloke poke for .08% of her lifetime. laudable, but what does it really mean? she claims that she has only had sex with two men so far and she is 25. according to these numbers, she has been having sex with a different man on an average of 12.5 years so far. at this pace (if she lives to the average age) she will have sex with 6.4 men. and if we equate heighth with a whole number, she will only have to have sex with tom cruise once to take care of the .4.
to put this in perspective, let's say that i am (hypothetically) 41 and i have had sex with (hypothetically) 35 different women. in order for me to remain celibate for an equivalent amount of time based on the number of encounters i've had in my life vs. hers i would need to...
cut my dick off? well, that can't be right. ah, 4.1 years. and i have done this multiple times with no effort. and i can tell you that, after the second year, you don't even notice anymore.
however, i think it is safe to say that she really doesn't need to take a year off from the public eye sexually in order to maintain her (for lack of a better word) virtuessness or virtuosity or...whatever. but she should think about the fact that she has had sex with only two men and one has made a videotape that she knowingly engaged in. that's one out of two, which equals over her standard lifetime to 3.2 naughty videos that she knows of. that i know of.
that she knows of...
so, i take my hat off to paris hilton, but that is all. for now. and i think i speak for all of us when i say that this would make for one hell of a reality show ala The Simple Life. call it The Celibate Life.
edit: redid the math. paris will have to have sex with tom cruise twice to make up for that .4.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Fuck You Friday #4
Stepped on my cat's foot last night. So, it was the big Fuck You ScarySquirrelMan! Yeesh, what a bitch.
Happy Fuck You Friday to y'all. Go here to find the creators of this sordid little weekly affair: Tequila Girl.
Happy Fuck You Friday to y'all. Go here to find the creators of this sordid little weekly affair: Tequila Girl.Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Finger Food? HNT
so, last week i think i showed a naked shoulder and wondered to myself what could be too naked about it. well, this would be it:
that's my new tat and i am so fucking stoked about it i want to shag all of you one by one by one and then by twos.
however, something happened in between the tat and tonight that truly disturbed me and made me question my inherently heterosexual sexuality. despite the beefy tat and manly arm holding that manly ink, something was, well, um, lacking. it wasn't so much that a yearning overtook me for no reason. what actually happened was a "present" fell into my lap, so to speak. a certain friend of mine forgot to take his hat with him one night when he suddenly jumped up and left the bar. for no apparant reason. for no discernable reason. no je ne se qois that i know. jump and run.
so, we looked at his hat. we looked at each other. we looked at his hat. we looked at each other. we looked at his bar tab. we looked the other way. we casually exited the bar . i ended up with the "Hat". i took it home. i made sweet love to it. i kissed it goodnight. i slept well for the first time in a month. when i awoke i made sweet love to it again. then i cooked it pancakes. then it bade me goodbye and disappeared. i thought i would make it through and live with the memory of that hat clutched between my tight toes. it never came back and i am left with that memory. and only that. i am not resentful or bitter. but i can't help but wonder what might have been
that's my new tat and i am so fucking stoked about it i want to shag all of you one by one by one and then by twos.however, something happened in between the tat and tonight that truly disturbed me and made me question my inherently heterosexual sexuality. despite the beefy tat and manly arm holding that manly ink, something was, well, um, lacking. it wasn't so much that a yearning overtook me for no reason. what actually happened was a "present" fell into my lap, so to speak. a certain friend of mine forgot to take his hat with him one night when he suddenly jumped up and left the bar. for no apparant reason. for no discernable reason. no je ne se qois that i know. jump and run.
so, we looked at his hat. we looked at each other. we looked at his hat. we looked at each other. we looked at his bar tab. we looked the other way. we casually exited the bar . i ended up with the "Hat". i took it home. i made sweet love to it. i kissed it goodnight. i slept well for the first time in a month. when i awoke i made sweet love to it again. then i cooked it pancakes. then it bade me goodbye and disappeared. i thought i would make it through and live with the memory of that hat clutched between my tight toes. it never came back and i am left with that memory. and only that. i am not resentful or bitter. but i can't help but wonder what might have been
if i'd made waffles instead.
happy hnt, y'all.
This Is Dedicated To The One I Love: Steph.
Rumsfeld = Asshole. Too busy? Doing what, may I ask? Commiting more troops to cover a royally blown foreign policy? Spinning damage control throughout the Mid-East? Stumping for political candidates who feel too closely tied to this administration and its myopic idealogies? Meeting with Swiftboat morons who are now attacking Sen. Murtha?
And College Republicans are now actively campaigning for "Say It Ain't So" Joe Lieberman who has thrown off his sheep's clothing. Of course, when the GOP is willing to fund a Green Party candidate to run against a Democrat and a Reublican I shouldn't be surprised, especially when the Republican involved is Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum. Rick, you may remember, is the man who suggested that if homosexual marriage was legalized, then we would have to legalize bestiality as well.
And in Kansas, it's Evolution 1, Creationism 0. Of course, this score is subject to change. And rest assured that no one will ever score more than 1 point. They'll just keeping handing it back and forth. Me, however, I think of the question:
Which is more true?
A) Without us, God would not exist.
B) Without God, we would not exist.
If you think A is more correct, then you should be pushing for religion in all aspects of public life in order to bolster your "theory". If you think B is more true, then it really shouldn't matter one way or the other. In fact, I think keeping "Him" low-key would further bolster the argument that religion is only for the faithful.
This is sweet. Roy Blunt says he will not allow any meaningful forward movement on global warming so long as he is in charge. nice. Not until he has more info on whether or not it might be truer than what just about every fucking scientist in the entire galaxy is saying. Yep, best to remain skeptical up until the fuzzies on your eyelids burn off and you can't blink away the truth anymore.
So, what is it about Iraq and soccer that scares so many of those insurgents and terrorists. To date, national team members have all been threatened with death for wearing shorts in public (kind of hard to compete on the international level in oversized sarongs or bhurkas), the coach resigned because of death threats to him and his family, and now hidden bombs are blowing up children on playing fields. In this war for minds by both sides, no one is winning because only the extremists are calling the shots. Moderate voices are drowned out by the violent, executed by the insane, and called traitors by the traitors. How do the civilised on either side stand up and be heard without fear of attack?
Finally, this is too good not to share. The government has identified Exxonmobil, the New York Times, AP News Service, USA Today, PBS and Microsoft as small businesses. There's your Zen moment of the day.
And College Republicans are now actively campaigning for "Say It Ain't So" Joe Lieberman who has thrown off his sheep's clothing. Of course, when the GOP is willing to fund a Green Party candidate to run against a Democrat and a Reublican I shouldn't be surprised, especially when the Republican involved is Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum. Rick, you may remember, is the man who suggested that if homosexual marriage was legalized, then we would have to legalize bestiality as well.
And in Kansas, it's Evolution 1, Creationism 0. Of course, this score is subject to change. And rest assured that no one will ever score more than 1 point. They'll just keeping handing it back and forth. Me, however, I think of the question:
Which is more true?
A) Without us, God would not exist.
B) Without God, we would not exist.
If you think A is more correct, then you should be pushing for religion in all aspects of public life in order to bolster your "theory". If you think B is more true, then it really shouldn't matter one way or the other. In fact, I think keeping "Him" low-key would further bolster the argument that religion is only for the faithful.
This is sweet. Roy Blunt says he will not allow any meaningful forward movement on global warming so long as he is in charge. nice. Not until he has more info on whether or not it might be truer than what just about every fucking scientist in the entire galaxy is saying. Yep, best to remain skeptical up until the fuzzies on your eyelids burn off and you can't blink away the truth anymore.
So, what is it about Iraq and soccer that scares so many of those insurgents and terrorists. To date, national team members have all been threatened with death for wearing shorts in public (kind of hard to compete on the international level in oversized sarongs or bhurkas), the coach resigned because of death threats to him and his family, and now hidden bombs are blowing up children on playing fields. In this war for minds by both sides, no one is winning because only the extremists are calling the shots. Moderate voices are drowned out by the violent, executed by the insane, and called traitors by the traitors. How do the civilised on either side stand up and be heard without fear of attack?
Finally, this is too good not to share. The government has identified Exxonmobil, the New York Times, AP News Service, USA Today, PBS and Microsoft as small businesses. There's your Zen moment of the day.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
The Revolution Will Not Be Seen At This Time
well, kiddies, it seems that the great squirrel has been duped. scammed. snookered. hooked, lined and sinkered. taken to the proverbial cleaners.
there shall be no mars opposition as i had been told there would. it happens next year. and the "great mars opposition", which i had posted about earlier happened three years ago. see, what happened was someone found a reposted article on that opposition. the date on the repost was this year and, quite naturally, the reader didn't research further. neither did i until just now. so, no mars this year.
and those of you who attended a certain barbecue and were treated to a view of saturn's rings were luckier than you know. the rings' visibility will not be that good again until 2014. so, keep that memory intact.
however, jupiter is still cruising around the night sky and that is what i shall be taking aim at in the coming days. if i had more of an easterly view i would, also, shoot for uranus and neptune. alas, i'm hemmed in by redwood trees.
and there is a meteor shower approaching sometime this month, which is always worth a latenight blanketwatch.
there shall be no mars opposition as i had been told there would. it happens next year. and the "great mars opposition", which i had posted about earlier happened three years ago. see, what happened was someone found a reposted article on that opposition. the date on the repost was this year and, quite naturally, the reader didn't research further. neither did i until just now. so, no mars this year.
and those of you who attended a certain barbecue and were treated to a view of saturn's rings were luckier than you know. the rings' visibility will not be that good again until 2014. so, keep that memory intact.
however, jupiter is still cruising around the night sky and that is what i shall be taking aim at in the coming days. if i had more of an easterly view i would, also, shoot for uranus and neptune. alas, i'm hemmed in by redwood trees.
and there is a meteor shower approaching sometime this month, which is always worth a latenight blanketwatch.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
More On The Tat
update: i went to tower tattoos this afternoon in order to give monet a note of thanks and monetary tip (she did not charge me what she should have, but artists are quirky that way. maybe my attitude or that i let her play with the tattoo or that i didn't show any pain or need to take a break or flinch...who knows?). i ended up with a circle of workers and customers surrounding me and oohing and ahhing today. the front counter guy who had initially checked the jpeg i sent over and told me we would have to simplify some of the detail had a grin that morphed shiteating with awe. and i'll say right here and now that monet blows away any of the work i had done at Slave To The Needle up in seattle.
and that outfit has an international reputation for excellence. the tats i had done there got the same response from other artists present on those dates. but monet's...well...perhaps she saw a challenge or an opportunity to stretch her wings. whatever, she is amazing and anyone who reads this and is thinking of getting ink, more ink, or rework on ink already done should make an appointment with her.
and that outfit has an international reputation for excellence. the tats i had done there got the same response from other artists present on those dates. but monet's...well...perhaps she saw a challenge or an opportunity to stretch her wings. whatever, she is amazing and anyone who reads this and is thinking of getting ink, more ink, or rework on ink already done should make an appointment with her.
just a bit of detail on this tat. unfortunately, picasa won't do a complete cleanup, but monet's impressive talents can still be seen. by the way, don't mind me, please, while i spend some time obsessing on this new piece of artwork i acquired.if someone has a higer magapixel camera than 5.0, i could use help on a couple of cleaner shots.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Reasons To Die: Version. 2.0
a good day. fun filled. great show at full circle brewery. steven was mesmerizing as usual. so was the tattoo artist. talk about touch and stroke. she was amazing. her shading, blending and outlining blew away anyone who ever worked on me at Slave To The Needle up in seattle (which has one of those holier-than-thou reputations and well-earned i might add). i got to show off her work at the show tonight and i think i may have won her a few converts. just fantabulous.
plus, i got in the mail today my copy of the english translation of the Quran. i had found a website many months ago, which claimed to be willing to send free copies of it to anyone who asked. so, i asked. then they wrote me back and said they were all out. then i thought to myself that i was now on someone's watchlist. probably the fbi or team america. then i thought that maybe i could be on a terrorist's watchlist and some crazy muslim was going to befriend me and then steal all of my credit cards, i.d. and social circle (because they can be charming motherfuckers when american death is on the line). then i forgot about it, because i tend to sign up for these kinds of things when i've been drinking.
but tonight i received about 100 pounds of mail from my old address in the 'no (most of it crap and/or threats like the one from the unemployment office and the one from the child support office and both are full of donkeyporn bullshit). why it all sat at the old place for so long is a testament to the laziness of the people who moved in there after me, but knew i had moved back and where this last may. now they're moving in next to me and they evidently can load it all into a car and bring it the half block to me. not that i resent them or anything. mostly it's that i think they suck. cock. lots. but i don't judge them, because i'm not that way.
anyhoo, i got my Quran and am hoping to find out just why i'm an infidel and deserve to die. i think i'm (at the least) owed that.
and, oh yeah, the quitting smoking is a bust. i spent three weeks on The Pill and within two weeks i was back to my normal routine of a pack a day. once my body adjusted to the meds i was putting in it found the tolerance level and raised it a grand. so, i've gone off the Pill. stopped three days ago. found out today the hard way that quitting the Pill cold turkey is not acceptable. muscle aches, stiffness, crankiness. i left work early in order to go home and sleep. i also took half a pill and when i woke up my back was just fine. so i have to wean myself off this fucker. the doc forgot to mention that. the internet and past users at work didn't. half a pill a day for a week, then half a pill every other day for a week, then half a pill once a week. that's the recommendation from the other junkies...
...of course, the last time i listened to a junkie he picked out screw top wine for me and i didn't realize it until i'd gotten back to the party.
plus, i got in the mail today my copy of the english translation of the Quran. i had found a website many months ago, which claimed to be willing to send free copies of it to anyone who asked. so, i asked. then they wrote me back and said they were all out. then i thought to myself that i was now on someone's watchlist. probably the fbi or team america. then i thought that maybe i could be on a terrorist's watchlist and some crazy muslim was going to befriend me and then steal all of my credit cards, i.d. and social circle (because they can be charming motherfuckers when american death is on the line). then i forgot about it, because i tend to sign up for these kinds of things when i've been drinking.
but tonight i received about 100 pounds of mail from my old address in the 'no (most of it crap and/or threats like the one from the unemployment office and the one from the child support office and both are full of donkeyporn bullshit). why it all sat at the old place for so long is a testament to the laziness of the people who moved in there after me, but knew i had moved back and where this last may. now they're moving in next to me and they evidently can load it all into a car and bring it the half block to me. not that i resent them or anything. mostly it's that i think they suck. cock. lots. but i don't judge them, because i'm not that way.
anyhoo, i got my Quran and am hoping to find out just why i'm an infidel and deserve to die. i think i'm (at the least) owed that.
and, oh yeah, the quitting smoking is a bust. i spent three weeks on The Pill and within two weeks i was back to my normal routine of a pack a day. once my body adjusted to the meds i was putting in it found the tolerance level and raised it a grand. so, i've gone off the Pill. stopped three days ago. found out today the hard way that quitting the Pill cold turkey is not acceptable. muscle aches, stiffness, crankiness. i left work early in order to go home and sleep. i also took half a pill and when i woke up my back was just fine. so i have to wean myself off this fucker. the doc forgot to mention that. the internet and past users at work didn't. half a pill a day for a week, then half a pill every other day for a week, then half a pill once a week. that's the recommendation from the other junkies...
...of course, the last time i listened to a junkie he picked out screw top wine for me and i didn't realize it until i'd gotten back to the party.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
half nekkid thursday on a wednesday when it's still light out and no one cares
ya like that? ya want some more? can't get enough of this nekkid hunk? too bad. this is it until next week when i post the second half of this. because curiously this isn't finished. somehow, something's missing. don't know quite what it is...well, yes, i do. but i'm not telling yet. you'll just have to tune in next week to see what is not here yet, but will be here. in the meantime
have a hell of a great Half Nekkid Thursday. for a link to what this is about go to my sidebar and click on the osbasso link. and just remember that this nekkidness will be not so nekkid next time. hey, you can see a smallpox scar in the upper right corner. cool.
have a hell of a great Half Nekkid Thursday. for a link to what this is about go to my sidebar and click on the osbasso link. and just remember that this nekkidness will be not so nekkid next time. hey, you can see a smallpox scar in the upper right corner. cool.
Lesson Of The Day
an interesting event this afternoon. i pulled into my driveway after work and as i got out of my car i heard someone call "hello!". i looked around, but didn't see anyone. so, i locked the car and walked the rest of the way up the driveway (it's quite long). as i got to my front door i heard "hello!" again. i looked around once more and still didn't see anyone. i unlocked my front door, opened it and was about to enter the house when, once more, i heard "hello!". it sounded as if it was coming from the front half of my duplex. i thought to myself, someone is at that front door wondering if anyone was around since the unit is empty and the person wanted to get a look inside. so, i walked over in order to tell this person that the unit was already rented and they should go ahead and fuck off (in a very polite manner since i am nothing if not goddamn polite).
as i sauntered past the side of the unit i heard it again. "hello!". i looked to my right and there was a face peering out from one of the rifle slit windows. an older lady was staring intently at me. i stopped and said (very wittily) "hey". she said " can you help me? i locked myself in the bathroom and i can't get out". after briefly toying with the idea of asking her why she doesn't have one of those emergency police cowbells for idiots with the red button on it, i responded with "um, what seems to be the problem?". her answer was "can you come in and open the door for me?". again, i paused for a mental shakedown: is this one of those penthouse stories i've heard of (but, of course, never read since i buy the magazine for the pictures and wonderbra ads)? will i go in to find that she is naked and holding a sawed-off shotgun right next to the whip and handcuffs? am i on candid camera?
but being the uber-gentleman that i am when damsels are in distress (no matter the age or wrinkliness) i said i would. i proceeded to the front door, which was "conveniently" unlocked and entered the domicile. i scanned the place for surveillence cameras and tripwires and nets hanging from the ceiling and large bags of drugs just begging to be kiped and open mouthed blowup dolls of george bush and hillary clinton. i saw nothing. so i went to the bathroom door. there was no knob on it. and there was a very sweaty and wrinkly woman inside. i looked to the kitchen for a moment and there i saw a lot of cleaning equipment. that's when i knew she had commited a murder and was trying to cleanse the place of the evidence. at that moment i knew i would be okay. no murderer wants to compound one killing with another unless it's a CSI episode. i bent and put my eye back to the knob hole.
"so, what seems to be the problem", i asked.
"i closed the door and it locked on me."
"you don't happen to have the door knob in there with you, do you?"
"no. and i've been in here for two hours."
"well, let's see what i can do for you...is your purse in there with you or is it out here?"
"um, what?"
"just kidding...are you married? anyone going to miss you in 48 hours?"
"um...what?"
"kidding! you look awfully hot in there. maybe you should take off your clothes while i work on this lock."
"what?!?"
"ma'am, i'm kidding. you've been in there a long time and must obviously have been under a lot of stress wondering when someone would happen by to help you. i'm just trying to lighten the load. by the way, my name is lecram and i'm a good friend of the landlord. so, you're a sweater, huh? i'm into that."
after 30 seconds of playing with the recessed lock i freed her. she was drenched in sweat and i believed that she had been in there for some time (and maybe the wrinkliness had more to do with the humidity than with her age). man, that had to suck. and she still had a lot of cleaning to do. she began to fan herself and puff out her tanktop, which gave me the unpleasant opportunity to look down her shirt (which i wouldn't have if i wasn't already trying to not look at her and she walked into my line of view just as she partially and momentarily disrobed and i had just blinked so i was caught unprepared) and i discovered that the wrinkles were not temporary tattoos.
she said thanks, i said welcome. she said thanks again, i said no problem. she said lecram, i said yeah, l-e-c-r-a-m, middle name steph. she said is there anything i can do for you, i said yeah, grab that toilet plunger and call me kowboi.
and then i got the hell out of there. because no good deed goes unpunished in my book.
as i sauntered past the side of the unit i heard it again. "hello!". i looked to my right and there was a face peering out from one of the rifle slit windows. an older lady was staring intently at me. i stopped and said (very wittily) "hey". she said " can you help me? i locked myself in the bathroom and i can't get out". after briefly toying with the idea of asking her why she doesn't have one of those emergency police cowbells for idiots with the red button on it, i responded with "um, what seems to be the problem?". her answer was "can you come in and open the door for me?". again, i paused for a mental shakedown: is this one of those penthouse stories i've heard of (but, of course, never read since i buy the magazine for the pictures and wonderbra ads)? will i go in to find that she is naked and holding a sawed-off shotgun right next to the whip and handcuffs? am i on candid camera?
but being the uber-gentleman that i am when damsels are in distress (no matter the age or wrinkliness) i said i would. i proceeded to the front door, which was "conveniently" unlocked and entered the domicile. i scanned the place for surveillence cameras and tripwires and nets hanging from the ceiling and large bags of drugs just begging to be kiped and open mouthed blowup dolls of george bush and hillary clinton. i saw nothing. so i went to the bathroom door. there was no knob on it. and there was a very sweaty and wrinkly woman inside. i looked to the kitchen for a moment and there i saw a lot of cleaning equipment. that's when i knew she had commited a murder and was trying to cleanse the place of the evidence. at that moment i knew i would be okay. no murderer wants to compound one killing with another unless it's a CSI episode. i bent and put my eye back to the knob hole.
"so, what seems to be the problem", i asked.
"i closed the door and it locked on me."
"you don't happen to have the door knob in there with you, do you?"
"no. and i've been in here for two hours."
"well, let's see what i can do for you...is your purse in there with you or is it out here?"
"um, what?"
"just kidding...are you married? anyone going to miss you in 48 hours?"
"um...what?"
"kidding! you look awfully hot in there. maybe you should take off your clothes while i work on this lock."
"what?!?"
"ma'am, i'm kidding. you've been in there a long time and must obviously have been under a lot of stress wondering when someone would happen by to help you. i'm just trying to lighten the load. by the way, my name is lecram and i'm a good friend of the landlord. so, you're a sweater, huh? i'm into that."
after 30 seconds of playing with the recessed lock i freed her. she was drenched in sweat and i believed that she had been in there for some time (and maybe the wrinkliness had more to do with the humidity than with her age). man, that had to suck. and she still had a lot of cleaning to do. she began to fan herself and puff out her tanktop, which gave me the unpleasant opportunity to look down her shirt (which i wouldn't have if i wasn't already trying to not look at her and she walked into my line of view just as she partially and momentarily disrobed and i had just blinked so i was caught unprepared) and i discovered that the wrinkles were not temporary tattoos.
she said thanks, i said welcome. she said thanks again, i said no problem. she said lecram, i said yeah, l-e-c-r-a-m, middle name steph. she said is there anything i can do for you, i said yeah, grab that toilet plunger and call me kowboi.
and then i got the hell out of there. because no good deed goes unpunished in my book.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Bush: All Human Lives Are Precious.
according to this report, the requirement of americans in lebanon to pay back the government for evacuation costs has been abandoned.
on the bright side, though, evacuation proceedings are going at such a slow and confused pace that our emergency missiles to israel may actually begin killing americans still in lebanon within days thereby saving our government the hassle and cost of further evacuations. kind of a win-win all the way around...except for the collateral damage.
on the bright side, though, evacuation proceedings are going at such a slow and confused pace that our emergency missiles to israel may actually begin killing americans still in lebanon within days thereby saving our government the hassle and cost of further evacuations. kind of a win-win all the way around...except for the collateral damage.
Insanity
sorry, steph, no comment on suing the prez, but i did stumble across this little gem wherein the editor for the Wall Street Journal thanks God for the bunker busters we're sending to Israel, claiming they will save lebanese lives.
huh??? can you say "we didn't get a chance to really use these in Iraq, so here's the next best thing"?
thanks to rawstory for this.
huh??? can you say "we didn't get a chance to really use these in Iraq, so here's the next best thing"?
thanks to rawstory for this.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Every Single Fucking One Of You
so, terra naomi came to town and rocked the house at club fred despite some local musician deciding to change the playing time on her. a very good time and thanks to all of you who came out to support someone who took a chance on our rogue festival three years ago for no better reason than a friend asked her to. it was great to see y'all. i mean that. great to see all of y'all. every single fucking one of you.
lecram may have a pic or two of the show up in the next couple of days on his blog. hopefully, not the one of me flipping him off, because i want that one for my fuck you friday post.
and terra may agree to be part of rogue year round, which is a happening gig.
speaking of which, this thursday at full circle brewery, our friend steve from san francisco will be debuting his one man show called "are you dating" before he takes it to the edmonton fringe festival (yeah, canada). isn't that cool? he's driving down for no better reason than he's done the rogue and still wants to be a part of it. steve played the rogue two years ago (?) and received great kudos from us and the fresno bee. it's a one night stand so you don't get to play the fresno "maybe i'll see it after i hear that it's good" card. enough of that shit anyway. victor desroches will also be on the bill, playing music with his geetar and whatnot. it will be fun. if you need directions, they're simple:
west on ventura (through downtown and over the crappy traintracks) past G street (which is a stoplight), turn right on F street (which is the next street) and it's right there on the right with neon. park anywhere and come on in.
show starts at 8:00 pm. be there, drink, buy merch, clap and hoot loudly, find your own date. simple rules for simple people. see ya there. just like tonight. every single...
lecram may have a pic or two of the show up in the next couple of days on his blog. hopefully, not the one of me flipping him off, because i want that one for my fuck you friday post.
and terra may agree to be part of rogue year round, which is a happening gig.
speaking of which, this thursday at full circle brewery, our friend steve from san francisco will be debuting his one man show called "are you dating" before he takes it to the edmonton fringe festival (yeah, canada). isn't that cool? he's driving down for no better reason than he's done the rogue and still wants to be a part of it. steve played the rogue two years ago (?) and received great kudos from us and the fresno bee. it's a one night stand so you don't get to play the fresno "maybe i'll see it after i hear that it's good" card. enough of that shit anyway. victor desroches will also be on the bill, playing music with his geetar and whatnot. it will be fun. if you need directions, they're simple:
west on ventura (through downtown and over the crappy traintracks) past G street (which is a stoplight), turn right on F street (which is the next street) and it's right there on the right with neon. park anywhere and come on in.
show starts at 8:00 pm. be there, drink, buy merch, clap and hoot loudly, find your own date. simple rules for simple people. see ya there. just like tonight. every single...
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Terra In Town
hey. terra naomi's coming to club fred tomorrow night at 8. check the link to sample some of her songs. see some of you there hopefully.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I Have A Dreamsicle
Fee To Flee
(from CNN)
Before being evacuated on U.S.-chartered ships, Americans are being asked to sign promissory notes to repay the U.S. government for the journey.
That demand outraged House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who said the United States has an obligation to get citizens out of harm's way without "quibbling over payment."
"A nation that can provide more than $300 billion for a war in Iraq can provide the money to get its people out of Lebanon," the California Democrat said in a statement. "I call upon the president to remove one worry from the minds of stranded American citizens in Lebanon and their families back home by declaring immediately that their country will bear the costs of bringing them to safety."
White House spokesman Tony Snow said Tuesday that the payments -- or "reimbursements" -- to the State Department were mandated under the 2003 Foreign Relations Authorization Act passed by Congress.
hmmm...i suppose a small price to pay in return for being swept to safety from a foreign country one has chosen to live in. however, pelosi does have a point. makes me wonder...
Before being evacuated on U.S.-chartered ships, Americans are being asked to sign promissory notes to repay the U.S. government for the journey.
That demand outraged House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who said the United States has an obligation to get citizens out of harm's way without "quibbling over payment."
"A nation that can provide more than $300 billion for a war in Iraq can provide the money to get its people out of Lebanon," the California Democrat said in a statement. "I call upon the president to remove one worry from the minds of stranded American citizens in Lebanon and their families back home by declaring immediately that their country will bear the costs of bringing them to safety."
White House spokesman Tony Snow said Tuesday that the payments -- or "reimbursements" -- to the State Department were mandated under the 2003 Foreign Relations Authorization Act passed by Congress.
hmmm...i suppose a small price to pay in return for being swept to safety from a foreign country one has chosen to live in. however, pelosi does have a point. makes me wonder...
Friday, July 21, 2006
Fuck You Friday #2
all this week i've been sinus problems. lots of snottiness, making me cough, sore throat in the morning and generally cranky. and i'm fucking sick of it. so, you know what?
Fuck You, Sinuses! and a Happy Fuck You Friday to all!!!!!
now, go to MG's site to play and/or comment and check out everyone else's.
Man, I love saying "fuck". fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
Fuck You, Sinuses! and a Happy Fuck You Friday to all!!!!!
now, go to MG's site to play and/or comment and check out everyone else's.Man, I love saying "fuck". fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
G'Day
so, this is my new toy. it took me about an hour today to figure out how to assemble the tripod and mount (used, no instruction manual), but i did it. tonight i will take it outside and run it through its paces. some neat accessories to it. a telrad scope, a simple motor drive, a 90 degree diagonal. should be fun and just in time for the Mars Opposition, which will begin next month (closest Mars will be in the last 5000 years [ that's as far back as recorded history goes astronomically, so it's probably been a lot longer]).
this is a two inch upgrade from my previous scope. the previous showed saturn's rings and jupiter's storm band, but this one should get a lot closer and provide more detail. i'll be able to see the polar caps on mars very well now.
and next thursday i'll be down at the local tat shop working on an HNT shot when i get this (look down) put on my left shoulder/bicep. i have three already (two by this artist) and all done by men, so this time i've chosen to have a woman ink this baby. her portfolio is pretty awesome and some of her style is exactly what will be needed for this. it will, of course, lose a bit of the fine detail, but she and i will improvise on that in order to keep the overall continuity as is.
so, a good day all in all. new toy, new tat. some broad coming over to love me up. yeah. good day in the 'No.
add on (9:38 pm) what's with the fucking clouds? i'm sitting here waiting to take out the scope and it's cloudy. nothing to see, dammit!
also, the Dixie Chicks are coming to town on thursday, september 6 (very, very close to my birthday). i'm thinking of going.
this is a two inch upgrade from my previous scope. the previous showed saturn's rings and jupiter's storm band, but this one should get a lot closer and provide more detail. i'll be able to see the polar caps on mars very well now.and next thursday i'll be down at the local tat shop working on an HNT shot when i get this (look down) put on my left shoulder/bicep. i have three already (two by this artist) and all done by men, so this time i've chosen to have a woman ink this baby. her portfolio is pretty awesome and some of her style is exactly what will be needed for this. it will, of course, lose a bit of the fine detail, but she and i will improvise on that in order to keep the overall continuity as is.
so, a good day all in all. new toy, new tat. some broad coming over to love me up. yeah. good day in the 'No.add on (9:38 pm) what's with the fucking clouds? i'm sitting here waiting to take out the scope and it's cloudy. nothing to see, dammit!
also, the Dixie Chicks are coming to town on thursday, september 6 (very, very close to my birthday). i'm thinking of going.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Ambiguous HNT
Jedi? Monk? Unabomber? 7-11 surveillance camera? Welcome to this week's Ambiguous HNT.
Perhaps, though, it's just P(en)ith Envy. Have a happy HNT, y'all. And go here to check out the master of it all.
Perhaps, though, it's just P(en)ith Envy. Have a happy HNT, y'all. And go here to check out the master of it all.
Day 17: Monkey Sees Forest, Counts Trees, Spews Snot
well, the wellbutrin is a neat drug. it increases my focus at work, it keeps me in a good mood even when i'm pissed off, it suppresses my appetite somewhat so that my shorts sag halfway down my butt...
...but it hasn't stopped my smoking. yes, it has cut my intake by about half if i'm not at lipari's having drinks. but it hasn't stopped the cravings as was advertised...
...so, i continue to smoke, but at a much reduced rate. it's somewhat of a victory for the moment. however, i am producing snot at like no one's business. why? i don't know. it might be the air conditioners in my house. i cannot sleep unless air is circulating over my body. that stems from a childhood of sleeping directly under the swamp cooler. it provided lots of moving air and white noise. very lulling...
...but now i am swimming in snot. no infection, it's nice and white when it comes out. but something's rotten in the state of snotmark. snot is dead cells and i want to know what died inside of me. it seems like it was the size of new jersey. if i was a sculpter (but, then again, no) i could have made a life-size cow by now with my snot, complete with swollen udders...
...i'm probably calling in sick to work again tomorrow, because i can't breathe when i wake up and it takes a couple of hours of sitting up for the snot to drain from my sinuses, into my throat, into my mouth and into the toilet...
...oh, by the by, i sold my rifle to herb bauer. herb will quarantine the gun for thirty days. why? i can only think that, because it's a ruger (german), he wants to make sure it isn't harboring any mad cow disease or something. and what i found funny is that the "cop" who showed up to confiscate my old ammo didn't even own a gun. he talked of wanting to buy one, though. made me feel a bit of pity for a guy who wears a badge, but isn't allowed to carry a weapon or handcuffs or billyclub or bigass radio or mace or taser. and he asked me why i didn't just go out to the auberry range and shoot it all. he didn't want to take the ammo. he admired my rifle( funny that when i pulled it from its case he didn't even flinch as the barrel tacked right across his belly. a real cop would have caught the barrel and read me my rights). but he did insist that i sell the gun and not give it to him for processing. said the paperwork would suck and i could get a few bucks for it, which i did...
...which makes me think of alberto gonzales who DID NOT fall on the sword for bush and cronies this week. while alberto is a weasel of the worst kind (hiding behind word parsing in order to not have to ever take a concrete stand on anything) he placed the blame for obstruction of justice squarely in the lap of bush and it was a sweet kind of pyrrhic victory (a victory achieved at great or excessive cost; a ruinous victory). why pyrrhic? because nothing will come of it. the members of congress are so cowed by this administration and so concerned with winning their seats back and giving themselves raises now that accepting bribes has become harder to do that they cannot waste time chasing white elephants across the room...
...and my balls no longer itch, but i keep on scratching anyway...
...but it hasn't stopped my smoking. yes, it has cut my intake by about half if i'm not at lipari's having drinks. but it hasn't stopped the cravings as was advertised...
...so, i continue to smoke, but at a much reduced rate. it's somewhat of a victory for the moment. however, i am producing snot at like no one's business. why? i don't know. it might be the air conditioners in my house. i cannot sleep unless air is circulating over my body. that stems from a childhood of sleeping directly under the swamp cooler. it provided lots of moving air and white noise. very lulling...
...but now i am swimming in snot. no infection, it's nice and white when it comes out. but something's rotten in the state of snotmark. snot is dead cells and i want to know what died inside of me. it seems like it was the size of new jersey. if i was a sculpter (but, then again, no) i could have made a life-size cow by now with my snot, complete with swollen udders...
...i'm probably calling in sick to work again tomorrow, because i can't breathe when i wake up and it takes a couple of hours of sitting up for the snot to drain from my sinuses, into my throat, into my mouth and into the toilet...
...oh, by the by, i sold my rifle to herb bauer. herb will quarantine the gun for thirty days. why? i can only think that, because it's a ruger (german), he wants to make sure it isn't harboring any mad cow disease or something. and what i found funny is that the "cop" who showed up to confiscate my old ammo didn't even own a gun. he talked of wanting to buy one, though. made me feel a bit of pity for a guy who wears a badge, but isn't allowed to carry a weapon or handcuffs or billyclub or bigass radio or mace or taser. and he asked me why i didn't just go out to the auberry range and shoot it all. he didn't want to take the ammo. he admired my rifle( funny that when i pulled it from its case he didn't even flinch as the barrel tacked right across his belly. a real cop would have caught the barrel and read me my rights). but he did insist that i sell the gun and not give it to him for processing. said the paperwork would suck and i could get a few bucks for it, which i did...
...which makes me think of alberto gonzales who DID NOT fall on the sword for bush and cronies this week. while alberto is a weasel of the worst kind (hiding behind word parsing in order to not have to ever take a concrete stand on anything) he placed the blame for obstruction of justice squarely in the lap of bush and it was a sweet kind of pyrrhic victory (a victory achieved at great or excessive cost; a ruinous victory). why pyrrhic? because nothing will come of it. the members of congress are so cowed by this administration and so concerned with winning their seats back and giving themselves raises now that accepting bribes has become harder to do that they cannot waste time chasing white elephants across the room...
...and my balls no longer itch, but i keep on scratching anyway...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Gun Guy No More...?
ahhh...taking the day off from work today. woke up at my usual time of 4:45 and discovered that my allergies had spent the night KICKING MY ASS. i reset my alarm for 6:00, then 7:00. shortly before 8 i knew i had to call in sick. lots of snot and coughing. yummie.
but, true to my nature, i can't sit still and chill. so, i've decided to dispose of my old .22 ammunition. i haven't shot my rifle (shut up, APJ) since 2000 and the bullets have been sitting and growing old for as long.
now, when you use google to look for disposal means in and around the 'No nothing shows up. no private outfits, no government contractors. only one website (from the east coast) had any advice at all. to wit: call the cops! so, i did.
yes, the police are the ones to call. they even make house calls. i was given two choices: drop the unwanted ammo off at the nearest station or request a drive-by (so to speak). the dispatcher told me the second option was best, because it's not always so easy to find a uniform at the subdivision stations (plus, they get to snoop around my pad and give me impersonal glares like they know where i keep the kilo of hash, the dead bodies and the illegal immigrants).
and here i wait for fresno's finest to come and service me (shutUP, APJ!).
after that i think i shall make a decision on what to do with the rifle. i have been wrestling with the idea of ridding myself of the weapon for a few years now. it's not a matter of not wanting a weapon in my house. no children live with me, i am not a mean drinker, the rifle has a lock mechanism in place and i don't even know where the bullet clips are anymore. pretty safe all around. but if i am not going to touch it again except to periodically take it out and oil it up (i'm WARNING you, APJ, one more time...to the moon!) then it's just silly baggage to cling to.
i've thought of selling it. in fact, i almost did once. fortunately, i had second thoughts about selling anything to hillbillies. i mean, i wouldn't mind getting a bit of money for it since i did spend money to get it in the first place. but i can't guarantee that the rifle would stay a safely cared-for piece. perhaps, i'll just hand it to the police today when they come by. i know they'll dispose of it properly. i don't think they resell weapons anymore (they did once upon a time if my memory isn't faulty).
i think i actually held on to the rifle for as long as i have, because of the responses i got from friends upon finding out i owned it. i am not a gun guy. never have been. but watching people's brains twist just a bit as they tried to digest this anamolous twig of information and square it with my personality was entertaining. shock value, i guess. now, it's just a reminder of a crazy time in my life that, while fun, was dangerous and stupid.
i think it's time to let this reminder of that time go. memories will suffice. and if they don't...there's always kowboi.
update: found the clip. it was nestled in with the rifle in its case, unloaded and apparently broken.
but, true to my nature, i can't sit still and chill. so, i've decided to dispose of my old .22 ammunition. i haven't shot my rifle (shut up, APJ) since 2000 and the bullets have been sitting and growing old for as long.
now, when you use google to look for disposal means in and around the 'No nothing shows up. no private outfits, no government contractors. only one website (from the east coast) had any advice at all. to wit: call the cops! so, i did.
yes, the police are the ones to call. they even make house calls. i was given two choices: drop the unwanted ammo off at the nearest station or request a drive-by (so to speak). the dispatcher told me the second option was best, because it's not always so easy to find a uniform at the subdivision stations (plus, they get to snoop around my pad and give me impersonal glares like they know where i keep the kilo of hash, the dead bodies and the illegal immigrants).
and here i wait for fresno's finest to come and service me (shutUP, APJ!).
after that i think i shall make a decision on what to do with the rifle. i have been wrestling with the idea of ridding myself of the weapon for a few years now. it's not a matter of not wanting a weapon in my house. no children live with me, i am not a mean drinker, the rifle has a lock mechanism in place and i don't even know where the bullet clips are anymore. pretty safe all around. but if i am not going to touch it again except to periodically take it out and oil it up (i'm WARNING you, APJ, one more time...to the moon!) then it's just silly baggage to cling to.
i've thought of selling it. in fact, i almost did once. fortunately, i had second thoughts about selling anything to hillbillies. i mean, i wouldn't mind getting a bit of money for it since i did spend money to get it in the first place. but i can't guarantee that the rifle would stay a safely cared-for piece. perhaps, i'll just hand it to the police today when they come by. i know they'll dispose of it properly. i don't think they resell weapons anymore (they did once upon a time if my memory isn't faulty).
i think i actually held on to the rifle for as long as i have, because of the responses i got from friends upon finding out i owned it. i am not a gun guy. never have been. but watching people's brains twist just a bit as they tried to digest this anamolous twig of information and square it with my personality was entertaining. shock value, i guess. now, it's just a reminder of a crazy time in my life that, while fun, was dangerous and stupid.
i think it's time to let this reminder of that time go. memories will suffice. and if they don't...there's always kowboi.
update: found the clip. it was nestled in with the rifle in its case, unloaded and apparently broken.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Still Scratching My Balls. And Smiling.
is that little sack at the bottom for some sort of steroidal clitoris? it looks like a circumcised penis. and is this a trophy for finishing first in some sort of triathalon i've not yet heard of? what would the three stages be?so, i was sitting here in front of the computer and i realized that i haven't written a political rant in some time. and that made me wonder why. i scratched my head some, then i scratched it some more, then i switched to my balls for a while because my scalp had started to bleed.
i couldn't figure it out. my entire raison d'etre with this blog was to rant, to spew forth diabolic fulminations damning the bush administration for every woe commited unto us during the last 200 or so years.
and here i was scratching my head and sack and thinking of nothing vitriolic to say. why?
why?!?
it's not like bush and the boys haven't continued to provide me with plenty of ammunition. i mean, there's iraq, afghanistan, iran, north korea, illegal wiretapping, israel/lebanon, republican bribery scandals, ann coulter, bill o'reilly, robert novack, pat robertson, rush limbaugh, hurricane katrina, the EPA, the supreme court, guantanamo bay, secret renditions, on and on.
so, why am i not in the mood to dash them against the rocks of reality?
i don't know. perhaps, though, just perhaps i'm in a good mood of late and i don't really feel like it. perhaps, smiling is fun. perhaps, getting out and having some kind of social life seems more conducive to good mental health than staying in all of the time and thinking of a sexy pet name for my moniter.
perhaps.
then again, i'm still scratching my balls. and smiling.
Monday Morning Pictorial
A brother sent me some pictures of typical boys and their pasttimes. Ah, memories...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
It's Fuck You Friday
evidently, it's Fuck You Friday and, while i don't currently have any shots of me giving the "fuck you" to anyone, i do have this nice photo of the Chimp attempting to pass a field sobriety test. and tequilagirl did say "rules? we don't need no fucking rules!", so that means i can post any fucking picture i fucking want. don't like it? i think you know my response to that.
Happy Fuck You Friday.
Happy Fuck You Friday.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Sanctity of the Hoo Hoo
"Straight" from The White House:
(for the boys)
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.
2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.
3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.
4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.
5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.
I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:
The regret and guilt caused by the disgusting, squishy act of stupid sex, which is basically like going to the toilet from the front side.
Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers.
Catching a brain-rotting STD like "Finger Herpes" from "feeling up" any nasty dirty girlie holes.
(for the girls)
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)
2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.
I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:
Super-expensive dry cleaning bills for getting crusty sex goop off all my good silk and cashmere stuff.
Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.
Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."
-------------------------
so, as i was saying a couple of posts ago, i am currently undergoing a spate of very, very vivid dreams since my sleep is barely under the wire in terms of depth. last night was no exception. i won't bore you with the whole dream, but i wanted to share one part. see, my dreams right now are extremely linear and coherent. even the jumps have segues. i am having complete conversations with people and the action and plots make sense. anyway...a certain woman (and no one read into any of this, please) was trying to get me to stop seeing a certain other woman by claiming she was just using me. i wouldn't listen to her, so she hired the help of two certain gentlemen i know to arrange a meeting between the four of us wherein the two gentlemen would steer the conversation in such a direction that the certain other woman's, uh, usary, would be forced into the open. after many attempts they finally succeeded and i looked at the first woman with dawning recognition in my eyes. she noticed, smiled, and said "wow. high resolution results from low wattage morons". i just wanted to share that line, because i woke up and laughed my ass off. kept thinking about it at work, too, and giggling, which drew more than a couple of concerned stares.
good times.
Director of Irony. Heh.
(From a recent speech given by Rep. Rahm Emanuel, D-IL)
"Mr. Speaker, yesterday the President said we continue to be wise about how we spend the people's money.
"Then why are we paying over $100,000 for a 'White House Director of Lessons Learned'?
"Maybe I can save the taxpayers $100,000 by running through a few of the lessons this White House should have learned by now.
"Lesson 1: When the Army Chief of Staff and the Secretary of State say you are going to war without enough troops, you're going to war without enough troops.
"Lesson 2: When 8.8 billion dollars of reconstruction funding disappears from Iraq, and 2 billion dollars disappears from Katrina relief, it's time to demand a little accountability.
"Lesson 3: When you've 'turned the corner' in Iraq more times than Danica Patrick at the Indy 500, it means you are going in circles.
"Lesson 4: When the national weather service tells you a category 5 hurricane is heading for New Orleans, a category 5 hurricane is heading to New Orleans.
"I would also ask the President why we're paying for two 'Ethics Advisors' and a 'Director of Fact Checking.'
"They must be the only people in Washington who get more vacation time than the President.
"Maybe the White House could consolidate these positions into a Director of Irony."
"Mr. Speaker, yesterday the President said we continue to be wise about how we spend the people's money.
"Then why are we paying over $100,000 for a 'White House Director of Lessons Learned'?
"Maybe I can save the taxpayers $100,000 by running through a few of the lessons this White House should have learned by now.
"Lesson 1: When the Army Chief of Staff and the Secretary of State say you are going to war without enough troops, you're going to war without enough troops.
"Lesson 2: When 8.8 billion dollars of reconstruction funding disappears from Iraq, and 2 billion dollars disappears from Katrina relief, it's time to demand a little accountability.
"Lesson 3: When you've 'turned the corner' in Iraq more times than Danica Patrick at the Indy 500, it means you are going in circles.
"Lesson 4: When the national weather service tells you a category 5 hurricane is heading for New Orleans, a category 5 hurricane is heading to New Orleans.
"I would also ask the President why we're paying for two 'Ethics Advisors' and a 'Director of Fact Checking.'
"They must be the only people in Washington who get more vacation time than the President.
"Maybe the White House could consolidate these positions into a Director of Irony."
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Day 10: The Monkey Emerges
managed to get out of the house tonight. my brain is beginning to get the hang of being abby...something. the last week has been a bit, well, wrong. perhaps it is a compliment to my psyche that wellbutrin twists me in the wind. it must mean i'm not depressed since that is what the drug is ultimately used for. however, it's also used for smoking cessation, alcoholism and weight loss (because the so-called "smarty" scientists finally figured out the hard way that this drug caused a significant minority of users to explode or commit suicide).
so, i've dropped 9 pounds in ten days. my nicotine cravings are definately diminishing (except when i go out) and alcohol has tasted like day-old dog farts
until this evening. actually, food has, too. except for tacos. don't know what it is about tacos made at home with fried corn tortillas that transcends all. but whatever it is does. cantaloupe's been tasting really good, too, as has raw cauliflower. all food looks and smells great and i am enjoying watching other people eat, but mostly my taste buds have gone on vacation to scotland for haggus.
the headaches are wearing off. the irritability is under control now that i know not to drink caffeine in public.
the std turned out to be a sinus infection (but, yes, the appropriate person was still notified).
i am completely focused at work and get a lot done and can speak very, very fast without tripping up.
when i get home i go back into la-la land. the energy surges are like a rollercoaster.
i am now a cheap date to get drunk.
i still am not sleeping in any stretch of the imagination. alpha level maybe. the dreams are extremely vivid and sometimes unsettling. memories are being dredged up from my past that i haven't thought about in years or decades. not necessarily a good time, but damn interesting.
as fucked up as i've felt, i gotta admit it's still fun to ride a new dragon from time to time.
so, i've dropped 9 pounds in ten days. my nicotine cravings are definately diminishing (except when i go out) and alcohol has tasted like day-old dog farts
until this evening. actually, food has, too. except for tacos. don't know what it is about tacos made at home with fried corn tortillas that transcends all. but whatever it is does. cantaloupe's been tasting really good, too, as has raw cauliflower. all food looks and smells great and i am enjoying watching other people eat, but mostly my taste buds have gone on vacation to scotland for haggus.
the headaches are wearing off. the irritability is under control now that i know not to drink caffeine in public.
the std turned out to be a sinus infection (but, yes, the appropriate person was still notified).
i am completely focused at work and get a lot done and can speak very, very fast without tripping up.
when i get home i go back into la-la land. the energy surges are like a rollercoaster.
i am now a cheap date to get drunk.
i still am not sleeping in any stretch of the imagination. alpha level maybe. the dreams are extremely vivid and sometimes unsettling. memories are being dredged up from my past that i haven't thought about in years or decades. not necessarily a good time, but damn interesting.
as fucked up as i've felt, i gotta admit it's still fun to ride a new dragon from time to time.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Day 8, Using medication To Help Quit Smoking
Dear Diary:
um,........................................................
............................................................
...............................................................
...................................................yeah.
um,........................................................
............................................................
...............................................................
...................................................yeah.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Disturbing, Scary and All Truthy
from the Manitoba Herald, Canada
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
HNT Within An HNT
somewhere in Washington a while ago a not-so-young man spent an afternoon taking pictures of himself all nekkid with various props. before each picture he put the previous shot on his computer as the desktop background. in an earlier HNT he used the ass shot from this series. this week, it's the Tummy (or Back) With What Looks Like Bulging Disks (or Appendix).
happy HNT, y'all.
happy HNT, y'all.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
What We Are Supposed To Be Celebrating
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offencesFor abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offencesFor abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
World Cup Update, Part 2
later this morning there will be the first semifinal game of the world cup. germany will play italy. let me first say that i am hoping for a germany- france final. i want those cheese eating surrender monkeys to get within one game and then lose it to the krauts (who, by the way, are known as the "manschafft")...oh, and this year's theme at the world cup is "racism is not acceptable" and i'd like to say that it is a great idea and should be acted upon.
moving on, i hope that we will see none of this (see below picture) in today's game:
a bunch of these:
a few of these:
and as much of this as possible. by the way, doesn't she look somewhat similar to a certain friend of ours?
plus, i think that her sign sums up what will be happening out at APJ's later on this afternoon. cheers to all. gametime at noon.
moving on, i hope that we will see none of this (see below picture) in today's game:
a bunch of these:
a few of these:
and as much of this as possible. by the way, doesn't she look somewhat similar to a certain friend of ours?
plus, i think that her sign sums up what will be happening out at APJ's later on this afternoon. cheers to all. gametime at noon.
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