Notes From A Dirty Little Commie

okay, so the executive director of "good morning america" has been suspended for a month for emails he wrote that were leaked to the press. one was about george bush during the 2004 first presidential debate. the second one was about madeleine albright. the one about bush is quite understandable and not offensive. the other could be construed as offensive, but mild in comparison to what i'm about to post here. remember this guy just got suspended for a month without pay.
now, we have michael savage encouraging his radio listeners to go out and burn mexican flags in an effort to protest their protesting the new immigration law bill currnetly in congress.
and we have neal boortz saying that rep. cynthia mckinney looks like "a ghetto slut" with her current hairdo. no, i can't find a picture at the moment.
no word on whether these two "esteemed" "journalists" are facing punishment for their racial attacks on people of different skin color. and i seriously doubt it will happen. the right wing gets away with it, the left and the mainstream get hammered. good thing we all know the media is still predominantly controlled by us libruls. otherwise, helen thomas would have to executed for interrupting president whatshisname during one of his press conference nonanswers.

scooter libby is trying to get fitzgerald relieved of his duties, because he claims fitzgerald is acting outside his proper powers. libby says only congress can approve this. oddly enough, he offered no defense for why bush should be allowed to continue eavesdropping on anyone he wants outside of congress's approval. or why it's okay to wage war on a country based on lies. or why electronic voting machines should continue to be used despite the fact that each and every one of them has been hacked and shown to be vulnerable to vote count changing. there really does seem to be no argument that what libby did was in violation of the law. so this move looks like an attempt to get in a new prosecutor who would be more crony friendly.

katherine harris continues her calimitous freefall, which i must admit i'm enjoying more than a little.

this could be pure bullshit, but what do YOU think? speaking for myself, i wouldn't put it past bush and his trolls. and i wouldn't put it past the democrats to cave on it for fear of looking like "terrorist sympathisers". i wouldn't put it past us citizens to accept it, because we are suffering from "scandal fatigue". think about that last one for a second. how many scandals, dustups, fuckups, lies, indictments, convictions, exposures, withdrawn assertions, blackmails, extortions, backstabs and fraud can one nation stand in the space of 5 or so years before tuning out and accepting the numbness that comes from being forced to deal with corruption on a daily basis?

ah. and finally. a note on why i, as a common drone grunt for a large company, seem to feel no joy in the recent "upturn" in the economy. i watch my smalltime office manager bring down over a hundred grand a year for nothing more than creating headaches for all of us who have to put out his fires and apologize to clients for his rash promises and work very long hours and weekends in order to NOT have to apologize to the clients. yet, he is the one who will walk away each year with a large bonus if the office shows a profit while the rest of us have to deal with the corporate line that no bonuses will be forthcoming, because we are in transition or something equally false and odious. this makes me want to puke up and scream, but i know it's the same everywhere or worse.

update: i got took. i totally forgot what today's date is. i have been working 7 days a week since the rogue and fell for an april fool's joke. the third term link above encouraged me to write the author and the following is the result:
(his reply)
You might want to double-check the date on that story.
t.
(my initial email)
oh, come on. this has to be bullshit. although i wouldn't put it past the bush administration to dream of this sort of shenanigan i have to ask you to publish your contacts. give us proof. otherwise, this is just another Onion article.

Protect Yourself? NONONO! We Got You Covered.

oh man. this is just insane. the government, our government, is still decades away from providing our soldiers with adequate protective body armor (not to mention the vehicles). and, now, it's saying that all privately bought armor is banned if it's not issued by the military.
"In a new directive, effective immediately, the Army said it cannot guarantee the quality of commercially bought armor, and any soldier wearing it will have to turn it in and have it replaced with authorized gear." turn it in. and replaced by gear the government says is proper. how many soldiers do you think are going to go for that?
dragonskin may indeed be subpar (who knows?), but what is subpar compared to nothing at all? suddenly, the military is beginning to provide body armor and claiming that nothing but what it deems appropriate is adequate. this sounds like a halliburtonesque deal. "we will do what we've been pressured to do for three years, but none of you are allowed any other vendor from this point on". personally, if i was in iraq i'd be buying a larger footlocker and making friends with some iraqi who wants us there and asking him to bury certain items of clothing until further needed. at this point, i think all of them could use a gunga dhin or two.
thanks to generik for this one. he tends to be good for the occasional scotch drink and lap dance, but that's about it. unless, of course, he's horny and in fresno.

Help Find Me A Home Contest

yes, you read right. it's a contest to see who can find me a cool Tower District house to live in. notice i didn't say apartment. i said house. under $700. with a backyard. one bedroom, one bath, preferably with a washer and dryer. a duplex will work so long as the neighbors are old, infirm, deaf, or otherwise noise impaired.
what's the prize for winning? well, let's see. besides the gratification of knowing you helped one of the 'No's most famous and beloved drunks to return and regale you all with stories of debauchery and "there, but for the grace of God..." moments, dirty poetry at open mic, useless suggestions about the arts, slurring rambling diatribes on the state of anything i didn't invest in, snide comments about all of you, the experience of watching my clean my earwax with my pinky finger, masturbation anecdotes, unanswered phone calls and unreturned phone messages, bemused expressions hiding my real feelings, unnecessary and ill-timed odors, well...
First Place: Buy Me Dinner
Second Place: Drink With Me
Third Place: Buy Me Dinner, Drink With Me, Watch Me Get Slapped By Shookie, And Have Me Agree To Act Badly In A Play Written By You Or Directed By You Or Watched By You
Fourth Place: A Knock On The Nose, Because You So Very Much Didn't Try At All And Therefor Suck Wind That Convicted Ax Murderers Could Be Breathing

Wow. that is some serious bootiage. if it wasn't for the obvious legal restrictions on relatives of those putting on this contest i'd enter myself.
heh. i said "enter myself". there's a neat trick. and i am kind of at loose ends this evening. what the fuck. what's the worst that could happen? a pulled muscle or something?

Beware Floridians In Your Water

"This is the most important thing I can do with what God gave me, and I've got a lot of making up to do," said Monaghan, 69, who spent most of his childhood raised by nuns in Catholic orphanages and later became a self-made billionaire. "God gave me a lot and showed me it is not impossible to use it to help people get to heaven."
just one more reason to go out and buy a domino's pizza NOW!!! if the kooks want a place to be pure and unadulterated (unlike his pizzas) and live out their lives like the universe ends at their doorsteps, then by all means do it. and we should help. it's kind of like when you can't find a white aryan racist on your block and you find out they all moved to idaho and you go "cool. is it an interment camp thing or the fishing?". because you know the fishing there is overrated. the big sandy is a big fish story.
then again, one (well, me) has to wonder what this guy is thinking. building a city in SW florida? um, that's hurricane alley, bub. perhaps, he expects the ever-more-powerful 'canes to help the citizens recognize the power of God. and, since we truly have tipped the balance on global warming, his flock should be able to embrace an angry and vengeful one. it could, also, help explain his feeling that he can "help people get to heaven". sooner rather than later.
what is it about florida anyway? maybe they had it right in the 50's and 60's when they (you know who "they" are) were claiming that floridians in the water was a commie conspiracy to sterilize and weaken good, honest americans.
so, when the pundits call florida a red state, i guess they know whereof they speak more so than i had previously given them credit.

"occasional nuggets of wisdom"??? that hurts, mustang. that hurts. i work hard to make sure you dear, dear moron readers find nothing of value here. this is supposed to be the big mac daddy of nutritional news. twice the calories, supersize the stroke. the fact that you think i sometimes slip up and add a stalk of celery or something makes me want to show more boobies.
not mine. hers!!!
now, go away and move to florida or something. dirty little commies.

Create Your Own Commercial For A Chevy

"Check out the commercial [name deleted] created for the all-new 2007 Chevy Tahoe. Think you could do better? Think you're up to the task? Then take a shot at the Chevy Apprentice Challengeand create your own commercial that brings the best Tahoe ever to life. It could be your chance to win."
http://www.chevyapprentice.com/view.php?country=us&uniqueid=4ee0dd9e-11b5-1029-98eb-0013724ff5a7

these people should really know better. i mean, come on. bored liberal who hates SUVs and has nothing better to do? woof. soft ball throw. whap. outta the park.

ITMFA, Daily Kos, America Blog and the War Nerd (and a smelly hippie). It's Da Bomb.

you know what's fun? seeing ads that the mainstream media giants won't run. like this one. a liberal (i think) church advertising the fact that it doesn't kick out or shun people for being different or for not fitting in to a narrow physical, sexual or idealogical box...hmmm, somehow i cringe to think what mustang is going to write about my putting sexual and box in the same sentence.

oh, and i just can't help it. dan savage, that rascally rabid sex columnist from seattle and the weekly rag The Stranger, is at it again with his new website ITMFA. Impeach The Motherfucker Already. Who knew gay men could all fired up about anything more important than the proper manicure or what to wear to a political demonstration. well, evidently he can. along with whatshisname over at the daily kos and the other whatshisname at americablog ("because a great nation deserves the truth"). great blogs, by the way. up to date on everything and lightyears ahead of the MSM. i steal from them all the time.

and one more thing: if its dateline is Fresno, you know it's gonna be funny. the WarNerd is a 'No gent who writes for the Exile, which is based in Moscow...um, idaho? russia? that's not him up above, by the way (that's the smelly hippie). the WarNerd is truly funny and informative. i try to read all of his columns if only for the comedic value. in fact, i'd love to see him perform at next year's rogue. if only to read something like this. ah man...'next of kin'... good stuff.

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Lara?

lara (tombraider) logan, a reporter in iraq, gives what i think to be a very definative answer to the so-called pundits here in the US who claim that she and her ilk are obsessed with negative news reporting at the expense of positive.
crooks and liars has the video. scroll down til you see her picture.
plus, she's, uh, kind of outrageously hot.
pig in a blanket hot.

Jack, We Hardly Paid Ye

jack abramoff (heh. jack...off) was sentenced today to the minimum amount of time allowable, a paltry 5 years, 10 months. of course, he was sentenced in a state he did so much for (think jeb bush and katherine harris). and i (along with many others) would like to know who all these people are that wrote letters asking for leniency for this scumbag. i mean, really. the hockey referee? if i buy your children ice cream and rides on the merry-go-round before torching your house, can i get some of that "he's not a monster" love?

Working Assets Kicks Ass

working assets just announced its list of profit disbursements for the year 2005. it's a joy to be a member of their long distance phone service. and it's a kick to turn down the mega companies by telling them who i belong to and then hear that profound moment of silence on the other end ogf the phone before they respond with "ah. yes. well. but we're cheaper". in many ways, the megas are. most definately.


$119,210
American Civil Liberties Union
$46,267
American Constitution Society for Law and Policy
$89,175
Americans United for Separation of Church and State
$54,733
Center for Constitutional Rights
$53,109
Feminist Majority Foundation
$67,373
Human Rights campaign
$83,493
NARAL Pro-Choice America
$120,253
Planned Parenthood federation of America
$53,109
Project Vote
$47,543
Public Campaign
$64,388
Coral Reef Alliance
$82,595
Earthjustice
$54,531
ForestEthics
$54,299
Global Greengrants Fund
$56,850
International Rivers Network
$120,392
NRDC Action Fund
$62,300
Oil & Gas Accountability Project
$77,725
Organic Consumers Association
$83,870
Rainforest Action Network
$58,938
Rocky Mountain Institute
$58,725
Africa Action
$82,266
American Friends Service Committee
$71,597
Global Fund for Children
$70,091
Global Fund for Women
$81,107
Human Rights Watch
$57,682
International Medical Corps
$49,217
Ipas
$55,711
Ploughshares Fund
$76,237
Union of Concerned Scientists
$61,509
Women for Women International
$55,480
ACORN
$47,362
Center for Policy Alternatives
$49,333
Center on Budget and Policy Priorities
$52,001
Drug Policy Alliance
$48,986
Families USA Foundation
$69,164
National Coalition for the Homeless
$46,898
National Employment Law Project
$87,719
Oxfam America
$51,885
Project on Government Oversight
$72,758
Wellstone Action
$66,992
American Library Association
$45,075
American Progress Action Fund
$85,894
Democracy Now!
$53,888
Free Press Action Fund
$65,252
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
$52,265
Independent Press Association
$56,787
Media Matters for America
$59,223
National Center for Science Education
$49,829
National Coalition Against Censorship
$57,367
Public Education Network

(Total amount in 2005 includes donations to groups planting trees, customers rounding up payments and miscellaneous contributions.)

Business As Usual

y'all might want to call your senators and tell them to stop the immigration bill that just passed the house of representatives. not only can it make every illegal alien a felon, but it can make you one as well if you help one of them out with a bite to eat or a coat or a dollar or two or work at a charity that serves them. even if you do none of these and couldn't give a ratshit about the plight of the illegals, consider this: the only reason we can afford to eat our own produce is because we have illegals willing to work for less than minimum wage. that sounds callous, but think of where they come from. $5 an hour to most of them is like $20 an hour to any of us legals. and do you want to spend massive backbreaking (not brokeback, mustang) hours in the summer sun picking fruit and vegetables? i thought not. but if we had no illegals willing to do it then we'd have to pay serious wages to get lazy legals to do it and our supermarket trips would be a new form of financial hell.
and the groundswell of public opposition to this election year bill is impressive. the catholic and pentacostal churches are involved as well as every latino ever born. cesar chavez has got to be beaming over this. and tossing down a few more coals j edgar hoover's way.

BAGHDAD, Iraq, March 28 — Senior Shiite politicians said today that the American ambassador has told Shiite officials to inform the Iraqi prime minister that President Bush does not want him to remain the country's leader in the next government.
okay, so the shiites are being extremely shiity to the sunnis for decades of murder, torture, executions, gassing and whatnot. i don't condone killing squads, that's for sure. otherwise i'd be advertising in soldier of fortune for a group of snipers and renting hotel rooms close to the white house. but this is the same government that bush lauded not too long ago as he tried to shore up his sagging ratings. remember the purple fingers and announcements from our government that iraq now had a legally elected government? remember how bush claimed it was only with our intervention that this had come to pass and that now he was going to let them rule themselves? he was so proud of his accomplishment. couldn't stop smiling. but when things don't go your way domestically or foreignly, i guess the answer is to keep remolding in a democratic manner until the final outcome is what you need. and, yes, many many eggs may need to be broken until the fallen souffle turns to pancakes. so long as it looks edible and the ignorant masses believe that's what you meant to make in the first place. mmmm, pancakes...

frank harris III gives his opinion in the hartford courant and it is indeed an opinion. but a concise and direct one. and one i happen to echo. bush needs to clean house from the top down. and when i say top down, i mean top down. he's got to go. and take cheney and rumsfeld and rice and alberto with him. it is disgusting to know that many many americans let bush go on his recent proclamation that the troops in iraq will be another president's problem. just like that he let all of us know that public opinion is of no matter to him. the fact that the majority of us think invading iraq was a big mistake doesn't even faze him. what, me worry? bush is the alfred e neuman of politics.

y'all remember Abu Musab Zarqawi? claims to be bin laden's number two guy and all that jazz? keeps killing lots and lots of soldiers and innocents in iraq and elsewhere? well, NBC has a little article that reveals how we had three clear, can't-miss shots at him in the run-up to our invasion and all three were nixed by the administration. this administration is the same group that demonized clinton for two failed attempts on bin laden. and they call bullshit on blowing this bad guy to high heaven along with his chemical plants. very nice. at the very least, each time zarqawi's name is connected to a mass killing or roadside bomb or suicide attacker we know who to thank for his continued presence.

on the personal war front, i have to say that moving up here was the best form of spring cleaning. i whittled down my accroutements to something resembling sensible. now, it goes even further. i am becoming the lean, clean moving machine i always wanted to be, but never could, because i kept attaching too much sentimental value to material commodities. other than the cat, what really matters? okay...music, movies and groovy tee shirts. not much else, though. oh, and my bedding. and mom's rugs. and the couch.
maybe i should just name the cat 'shithead'.
grandma continues to show her beautiful stubborn streak. while not resigned to losing her house, she is aware and asking about church happenings and how her cat is doing.
so, while my tears were needed for me, perhaps they weren't so much for her.

Sunday Bloody Sundae

Lieberman says Bush wiretapping 'outside the law'
March 26, 2006
HARTFORD, Conn. --President Bush's authorization of warrantless wiretapping as part of the war on terrorism was "outside the law," Sen. Joe Lieberman said Sunday.
(okay, this is a weird start for the one democrat who is more in line with the republicans than any other)
Lieberman, D-Conn., also said he opposes a move by a Democratic Senate colleague to censure Bush over accusations that the president unlawfully authorized wiretaps without obtaining court orders.
(and this is totally in line for a man who thinks democrats are either leftist or confused)
"As I read the law I think the president's tapping or surveillance without a warrant was wrong," Lieberman said on "Face the State" on WFSB-TV. "It was outside the law."
(hmmm. outside the law. that could mean illegal. if i were to speed in my car i would be outside the law. if i were to peek in my neighbor's window or steal beer from the minimart i would be outside the law...because it's illegal. so, it looks like lieberman is saying bush broke the law)
"This is an important program," said Lieberman, who is seeking a fourth term this year. "I don't find anybody in Congress who thinks we ought not to be listening to the phone conversations and reading the e-mails of people that we think are involved in and we have reason to believe are involved in terrorist groups. (nice use of the "some people" argument) But it has to be done in America in my opinion pursuant to the Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable searches and seizures. It has to be done with a court order."
(so, what bush has done is against the law. and what bush has done should not be condoned. but what bush has done should be legal and let's work to make it okay and what bush has done okay in hindsight?)
Lieberman, who has been criticized by liberals for supporting Bush's war policy, faulted a censure move against the president that was proposed last week by Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis.
"My own opinion, and it seems to be shared by most Democratic senators, is that it would be an unproductive use of our time," Lieberman said. "Again, it's looking backward. It would be divisive. The best thing we could do about this program is to bring it under the law and I'd prefer to spend my time and the Senate's time figuring out how we can adopt a law that allows the administration to continue this program but force them to go to court to get a warrant before they do."
(lieberman is using the bush argument: "i won't spend my time looking backwards. i choose to move forward". or what mccain said [paraphrased], " mumble mumble mumble screech into the breach")
(the other argument lieberman makes is let's bring this program under the law. how about we admit that this administration knew the law before it began the program and chose to ignore it. "it" would be FISA, the court that the president goes to when he needs a wiretap or phone bug or computer trace. that court has turned down four requests since 1978 when it was created. it has passed more than 10,000. get a calculator and check that percentage. and lieberman wants to legalize it by making it conform to an existing law that the administration actively and knowingly ignored while bush renewed it in writing every 45 days since 9/11 or earlier)
A possible Republican opponent to Lieberman announced his candidacy last week. Paul Streitz, a 63-year-old Darien resident, said he will seek his party's nomination and will focus on immigration control (good pictures) as his main issue.
(when a republican takes on lieberman with his entire agenda being immigration control that basically means lieberman enjoys getting fence burn and knows he will benefit from it, because he can cover every other republican talking point andf the republican opponent is wondering how to attack one of the very people his party is trying to woo. i'll bet this guy doesn't have much support, because lieberman is being courted by every mainstream republican and some outlying weirdos who don't want to see a different democrat in his place)

thinkprogress has a good point about dickhead tom tancredo who thinks making it a federal crime to aid illegal immigrants is in keeping with the bible.
(i grew up in a liberal methodist church. we were one of the first to offer our sanctuary to el salvadoran refugees and we were one of the first to become a sanctuary for all sexualities. a reconciling congregation. very fun even though i was a teenager when it all first began so i didn't get the full experience. i was a bit preoccupied with the youth group and we were preoccupied with goofing off, flirting, making fart jokes, meeting on the weekends away from the counselors and drinking or smoking the chronic, going to campus life and disrupting the "daylight" [meaning six inches of distance between the participants] dances by actually holding each other [which got bad once when john and i went on to the dance floor together for the song "three times a lady" and began tangoing...we never got to actually tango, it was more of a hand clasp, head spin, grunt and removal from public view by the present authorities], meeting at taco bell or denny's or carl's jr to plot our next crime. i may actually have to scan photos of us for anyone to truly understand our depths...but my church rebelled against anything it saw as betraying the love of christ and the methodist church certainly did that. every organized religion does that. doctrine is the masthead. for the methodists, though, liberal is not a deathknell.).

and only florida could get pissed off at a zealous vote machine overseer who doesn't want to see another 2000 debacle and who keeps proving the newest generation of vote machines are crap. of course, florida did give its electoral votes to bush after the supreme court decided that recounting all of those stupid little ballots one by one was a dumb idea. and the governor and all of his party and katherine harris (who is running for office right now and turning absolutely kooky in her delusional qualities and she was the one who stopped the florida ballot recount before the supreme court ruled and was appointed by jeb bush and accepted money from jack abramoff, jack...off. really, a do over is in order on the name) and the cubans who didn't know that bush hated them, too. especially when it comes to refugees, detainees and baseball world classic runner up winnings. it seems that fidel promised his team's runner up winnings to the victims of hurricane katrina ("i'm walking on sunshine...we-elll..."), but major league baseball and the administration are claiming that cuba gave up all of its monetary rights in order to play in the classic. that may be true, you never know. especially with our country that can't get past the bay of pigs. unless, of course, castro truely was behind jfk's murder and none of them can admit they fucked it up so badly. but i doubt it. some knucklehead democrat would have spilled it by now. in short, no cuban geets for katrina's wet streets.
now, if only hugo chavez would get with the program and stick to making up funny new names for bush and not keep poor people alive on the east coast with his oil. what a bastard. making political hay at the expense of the poor...in someone else's country. in a very obvious manner. which the minority opposition party might try to misrepresent and take advantage of come election time. which would probably help chavez keep his job, because the masses somehow seem to keep liking democrats and liberals if only for their weak knees.

long new york times article about the Lincoln group that pays iraqi newspapers to have its articles published. if only ol' abe could have done this he would never have had to leave springfield.

oh, and in case you thought the liberals in the blogosphere were as unorganized as the democratic party or as allegedly unbiased as the printed and viewed media, oh you so totally suck. we rock. and we're smart. at least in this one case we managed to raise arguments that were actually valid. word has it that al franken was so shaken he dropped his big mac, called michael moore and complained that "the liberals ruined my gucci". not sure what that means unless one of us hit his moped or stopped him from his annual nepalese trek to sit with his yeti.

and it's even better when republicans attempt to eat their own. i've never watched great whites go after each other, but i doubt it could get nastier than fools on a sinking ship who refuse to jump first for fear of being called a coward. oh, and d'amato's "i never met him before" defense is pure bush administration. whether or not it's true.

now, there's news that there may have been a russian mole feeding military info of ours to saddam hussein. good job. the link speaks of how the mole may have been either misinformed or simply very tardy with the intel. huh. ya think one or the other? just maybe? other than forgetting to tell the palace that they needed to act like masses awaiting liberation and strew flowers at our feet and sing whatever their equivalent of hoseanah is and not steal a billion dollars worth of shit in front of everyone (even though the bulk of it was US greenbacks and gold and no one ever saw it anyway). but i'm sure the mole got it right by telling saddam, "hey, hanging out in the presidential palace might be stupic right about now. you got a bunker?". and "the people hate you. did you know that? it seems, based on our newest polls, that this feeling may have existed for some time. some drivel about gas and torture and execution and women going about bareheaded and driving cars and having jobs and flying planes. pretty weird. we're not sure how this happened, but we're going to form a panel to investigate this as soon as possible. in the meantime, you got a bunker?". what is it about the russians? they're so good at offering free or really cheap code for no better reason than they can and it always defies microsoft interventions. but governmentally there is a bit of a competence gap.

i'll stop here. not that any of you dirty little commies will have read any of this. and for that i salute you. i wouldn't either if i was a rigidly caught doctrinaire. lachaim.

lachaim, i say. damn your little commie eyes.

update:
p.s. what do you think? it's 9:20 pm and she is having one of her nightly fits. so, $25-$30 for her and her litter boxes? i will throw in the catnip bags, tennis balls, laser pointer, plastic bags, ink pens, shoelaces, chair arms, pants legs, screen doors, carpets, norway rats and friends' allergies this cat has destroyed. she's a real bitch. and warm. sleeps with me when it's too cold anywhere else. finds the first spot to knead, does that for maybe 5 minutes. then she finds another place to lie down and take a nap. so long as it's right next to me.
think i'll keep her a while longer.

Cyber Yard Sale

then, of course, there is the winnie the pooh night light (which i bought at a tv KVPR auction so i could talk to a certain belly dancer i was infatuated with).
and the "no exit" sign" (left with me by dillyn with whom i had THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE for three weeks and then she disappeared).

and the clothes.
and the kitchenware.
and the candle holders.
and the rugs.
and the books.
and, oh, the baseball cards. talk about cards.
and the cat...what to do about the cat...
and my virginity, which i recently found hiding under the bed and am not sure i want to readopt, even if it works well in the bars.

Grandma's Sitting Up And Washing Herself

monthly natural gas bill: $90
monthly phone and internet bill: $55
monthly electric bill: $40
monthly trash and recycle pickup bill: $25
bi-monthly water bill: $90
monthly debt bills: $325
rent: $825
decision to return to the 'No for those and other reasons: priceless.