Friday, March 31, 2006

Beware Floridians In Your Water

"This is the most important thing I can do with what God gave me, and I've got a lot of making up to do," said Monaghan, 69, who spent most of his childhood raised by nuns in Catholic orphanages and later became a self-made billionaire. "God gave me a lot and showed me it is not impossible to use it to help people get to heaven."
just one more reason to go out and buy a domino's pizza NOW!!! if the kooks want a place to be pure and unadulterated (unlike his pizzas) and live out their lives like the universe ends at their doorsteps, then by all means do it. and we should help. it's kind of like when you can't find a white aryan racist on your block and you find out they all moved to idaho and you go "cool. is it an interment camp thing or the fishing?". because you know the fishing there is overrated. the big sandy is a big fish story.
then again, one (well, me) has to wonder what this guy is thinking. building a city in SW florida? um, that's hurricane alley, bub. perhaps, he expects the ever-more-powerful 'canes to help the citizens recognize the power of God. and, since we truly have tipped the balance on global warming, his flock should be able to embrace an angry and vengeful one. it could, also, help explain his feeling that he can "help people get to heaven". sooner rather than later.
what is it about florida anyway? maybe they had it right in the 50's and 60's when they (you know who "they" are) were claiming that floridians in the water was a commie conspiracy to sterilize and weaken good, honest americans.
so, when the pundits call florida a red state, i guess they know whereof they speak more so than i had previously given them credit.

"occasional nuggets of wisdom"??? that hurts, mustang. that hurts. i work hard to make sure you dear, dear moron readers find nothing of value here. this is supposed to be the big mac daddy of nutritional news. twice the calories, supersize the stroke. the fact that you think i sometimes slip up and add a stalk of celery or something makes me want to show more boobies.
not mine. hers!!!
now, go away and move to florida or something. dirty little commies.


Mustang said...


Your nuggets, though rare, are sweet meat for thought, a fine ambrosia for the mind. It is our task to sift the offal of your mental excrement in hopes of such small carbuncles of brassy genius. I merely complain, to point out that the maddening rabble that yammers at the gates of your all-so-current and hip sole are a mob of miscreants unworthy of your deliberate and wonderous output.

Please forgive me, and journey south forever, return to the bosom of love and adulation that only we in the 'NO can provide. Return sweet prince, to the ephemeral birthplace of your sphincter-like, rapier sharp wit, and bless us again with that slightly scruffy countence that we all love to give noogies to!

scarysquirrelman said...

oh yes, you HAVE been hitting the booze hutch. but thanks for calling my nuggets sweetmeat. even though i've been working all day and they ain't smelling so sweet right now.