Saturday, July 29, 2006

More On The Tat

update: i went to tower tattoos this afternoon in order to give monet a note of thanks and monetary tip (she did not charge me what she should have, but artists are quirky that way. maybe my attitude or that i let her play with the tattoo or that i didn't show any pain or need to take a break or flinch...who knows?). i ended up with a circle of workers and customers surrounding me and oohing and ahhing today. the front counter guy who had initially checked the jpeg i sent over and told me we would have to simplify some of the detail had a grin that morphed shiteating with awe. and i'll say right here and now that monet blows away any of the work i had done at Slave To The Needle up in seattle.
and that outfit has an international reputation for excellence. the tats i had done there got the same response from other artists present on those dates. but monet's...well...perhaps she saw a challenge or an opportunity to stretch her wings. whatever, she is amazing and anyone who reads this and is thinking of getting ink, more ink, or rework on ink already done should make an appointment with her.
just a bit of detail on this tat. unfortunately, picasa won't do a complete cleanup, but monet's impressive talents can still be seen. by the way, don't mind me, please, while i spend some time obsessing on this new piece of artwork i acquired.
if someone has a higer magapixel camera than 5.0, i could use help on a couple of cleaner shots.

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Friday, July 28, 2006

Fuck You Friday #3

i'm in a pretty fucking good mood, so fuck you, Fuck You Friday!!! HA!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Reasons To Die: Version. 2.0

a good day. fun filled. great show at full circle brewery. steven was mesmerizing as usual. so was the tattoo artist. talk about touch and stroke. she was amazing. her shading, blending and outlining blew away anyone who ever worked on me at Slave To The Needle up in seattle (which has one of those holier-than-thou reputations and well-earned i might add). i got to show off her work at the show tonight and i think i may have won her a few converts. just fantabulous.

plus, i got in the mail today my copy of the english translation of the Quran. i had found a website many months ago, which claimed to be willing to send free copies of it to anyone who asked. so, i asked. then they wrote me back and said they were all out. then i thought to myself that i was now on someone's watchlist. probably the fbi or team america. then i thought that maybe i could be on a terrorist's watchlist and some crazy muslim was going to befriend me and then steal all of my credit cards, i.d. and social circle (because they can be charming motherfuckers when american death is on the line). then i forgot about it, because i tend to sign up for these kinds of things when i've been drinking.
but tonight i received about 100 pounds of mail from my old address in the 'no (most of it crap and/or threats like the one from the unemployment office and the one from the child support office and both are full of donkeyporn bullshit). why it all sat at the old place for so long is a testament to the laziness of the people who moved in there after me, but knew i had moved back and where this last may. now they're moving in next to me and they evidently can load it all into a car and bring it the half block to me. not that i resent them or anything. mostly it's that i think they suck. cock. lots. but i don't judge them, because i'm not that way.
anyhoo, i got my Quran and am hoping to find out just why i'm an infidel and deserve to die. i think i'm (at the least) owed that.
and, oh yeah, the quitting smoking is a bust. i spent three weeks on The Pill and within two weeks i was back to my normal routine of a pack a day. once my body adjusted to the meds i was putting in it found the tolerance level and raised it a grand. so, i've gone off the Pill. stopped three days ago. found out today the hard way that quitting the Pill cold turkey is not acceptable. muscle aches, stiffness, crankiness. i left work early in order to go home and sleep. i also took half a pill and when i woke up my back was just fine. so i have to wean myself off this fucker. the doc forgot to mention that. the internet and past users at work didn't. half a pill a day for a week, then half a pill every other day for a week, then half a pill once a week. that's the recommendation from the other junkies...
...of course, the last time i listened to a junkie he picked out screw top wine for me and i didn't realize it until i'd gotten back to the party.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

half nekkid thursday on a wednesday when it's still light out and no one cares

ya like that? ya want some more? can't get enough of this nekkid hunk? too bad. this is it until next week when i post the second half of this. because curiously this isn't finished. somehow, something's missing. don't know quite what it is...well, yes, i do. but i'm not telling yet. you'll just have to tune in next week to see what is not here yet, but will be here. in the meantime
have a hell of a great Half Nekkid Thursday. for a link to what this is about go to my sidebar and click on the osbasso link. and just remember that this nekkidness will be not so nekkid next time. hey, you can see a smallpox scar in the upper right corner. cool.

Lesson Of The Day

an interesting event this afternoon. i pulled into my driveway after work and as i got out of my car i heard someone call "hello!". i looked around, but didn't see anyone. so, i locked the car and walked the rest of the way up the driveway (it's quite long). as i got to my front door i heard "hello!" again. i looked around once more and still didn't see anyone. i unlocked my front door, opened it and was about to enter the house when, once more, i heard "hello!". it sounded as if it was coming from the front half of my duplex. i thought to myself, someone is at that front door wondering if anyone was around since the unit is empty and the person wanted to get a look inside. so, i walked over in order to tell this person that the unit was already rented and they should go ahead and fuck off (in a very polite manner since i am nothing if not goddamn polite).
as i sauntered past the side of the unit i heard it again. "hello!". i looked to my right and there was a face peering out from one of the rifle slit windows. an older lady was staring intently at me. i stopped and said (very wittily) "hey". she said " can you help me? i locked myself in the bathroom and i can't get out". after briefly toying with the idea of asking her why she doesn't have one of those emergency police cowbells for idiots with the red button on it, i responded with "um, what seems to be the problem?". her answer was "can you come in and open the door for me?". again, i paused for a mental shakedown: is this one of those penthouse stories i've heard of (but, of course, never read since i buy the magazine for the pictures and wonderbra ads)? will i go in to find that she is naked and holding a sawed-off shotgun right next to the whip and handcuffs? am i on candid camera?
but being the uber-gentleman that i am when damsels are in distress (no matter the age or wrinkliness) i said i would. i proceeded to the front door, which was "conveniently" unlocked and entered the domicile. i scanned the place for surveillence cameras and tripwires and nets hanging from the ceiling and large bags of drugs just begging to be kiped and open mouthed blowup dolls of george bush and hillary clinton. i saw nothing. so i went to the bathroom door. there was no knob on it. and there was a very sweaty and wrinkly woman inside. i looked to the kitchen for a moment and there i saw a lot of cleaning equipment. that's when i knew she had commited a murder and was trying to cleanse the place of the evidence. at that moment i knew i would be okay. no murderer wants to compound one killing with another unless it's a CSI episode. i bent and put my eye back to the knob hole.
"so, what seems to be the problem", i asked.
"i closed the door and it locked on me."
"you don't happen to have the door knob in there with you, do you?"
"no. and i've been in here for two hours."
"well, let's see what i can do for your purse in there with you or is it out here?"
"um, what?"
"just kidding...are you married? anyone going to miss you in 48 hours?"
"kidding! you look awfully hot in there. maybe you should take off your clothes while i work on this lock."
"ma'am, i'm kidding. you've been in there a long time and must obviously have been under a lot of stress wondering when someone would happen by to help you. i'm just trying to lighten the load. by the way, my name is lecram and i'm a good friend of the landlord. so, you're a sweater, huh? i'm into that."
after 30 seconds of playing with the recessed lock i freed her. she was drenched in sweat and i believed that she had been in there for some time (and maybe the wrinkliness had more to do with the humidity than with her age). man, that had to suck. and she still had a lot of cleaning to do. she began to fan herself and puff out her tanktop, which gave me the unpleasant opportunity to look down her shirt (which i wouldn't have if i wasn't already trying to not look at her and she walked into my line of view just as she partially and momentarily disrobed and i had just blinked so i was caught unprepared) and i discovered that the wrinkles were not temporary tattoos.
she said thanks, i said welcome. she said thanks again, i said no problem. she said lecram, i said yeah, l-e-c-r-a-m, middle name steph. she said is there anything i can do for you, i said yeah, grab that toilet plunger and call me kowboi.
and then i got the hell out of there. because no good deed goes unpunished in my book.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Bush: All Human Lives Are Precious.

according to this report, the requirement of americans in lebanon to pay back the government for evacuation costs has been abandoned.
on the bright side, though, evacuation proceedings are going at such a slow and confused pace that our emergency missiles to israel may actually begin killing americans still in lebanon within days thereby saving our government the hassle and cost of further evacuations. kind of a win-win all the way around...except for the collateral damage.


sorry, steph, no comment on suing the prez, but i did stumble across this little gem wherein the editor for the Wall Street Journal thanks God for the bunker busters we're sending to Israel, claiming they will save lebanese lives.
huh??? can you say "we didn't get a chance to really use these in Iraq, so here's the next best thing"?
thanks to rawstory for this.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Every Single Fucking One Of You

so, terra naomi came to town and rocked the house at club fred despite some local musician deciding to change the playing time on her. a very good time and thanks to all of you who came out to support someone who took a chance on our rogue festival three years ago for no better reason than a friend asked her to. it was great to see y'all. i mean that. great to see all of y'all. every single fucking one of you.
lecram may have a pic or two of the show up in the next couple of days on his blog. hopefully, not the one of me flipping him off, because i want that one for my fuck you friday post.
and terra may agree to be part of rogue year round, which is a happening gig.
speaking of which, this thursday at full circle brewery, our friend steve from san francisco will be debuting his one man show called "are you dating" before he takes it to the edmonton fringe festival (yeah, canada). isn't that cool? he's driving down for no better reason than he's done the rogue and still wants to be a part of it. steve played the rogue two years ago (?) and received great kudos from us and the fresno bee. it's a one night stand so you don't get to play the fresno "maybe i'll see it after i hear that it's good" card. enough of that shit anyway. victor desroches will also be on the bill, playing music with his geetar and whatnot. it will be fun. if you need directions, they're simple:
west on ventura (through downtown and over the crappy traintracks) past G street (which is a stoplight), turn right on F street (which is the next street) and it's right there on the right with neon. park anywhere and come on in.
show starts at 8:00 pm. be there, drink, buy merch, clap and hoot loudly, find your own date. simple rules for simple people. see ya there. just like tonight. every single...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Terra In Town

hey. terra naomi's coming to club fred tomorrow night at 8. check the link to sample some of her songs. see some of you there hopefully.