Thursday Night Crush

It's been a long day and longer week, which won't end until next week officially starts. Classes all day today (5 a.m. until 7 p.m.) and more tomorrow. plus work on both weekend days (not to fear, i will be safely ensconced on my couch for the Super Bowl commercials).
so, i got nothing. no juice tonight. only a triple shot of beauties (because in the northwest no one has just one shot) who make my cinematic experiences something akin to spiritual transcendence:

WARNING: RANT AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

breaking news: cindy sheehan was arrested inside Capitol chambers and "escorted" to jail after she had been invited by a chamber member to attend. reports are muddled. some have her wearing a tee shirt sporting the number of troops killed in Iraq. others have her unfurling a banner. that's all i've got right now.
but it leads me to this new twist on the Patriot Act renewal. Mind you, Bob Barr is no longer a darling of the right wing. But it sends a very troubling message. So far as I know there have been no threatening instances of citizens attempting to express their views at events of this type. Those who wish to be arrested tend to let that be known beforehand. Suddenly, security for "VIPS" is an issue? I think not. I think that the issue is more about "VIPS" not wanting opposing viewpoints to be heard during their photo ops. What I think we have here is an attempt by the Roman Senate to distance themselves from the reality of the people's unrest. I mean, we have a president putting out photographs of himself at functions where the press is not allowed. Many of these functions had been open to the press up until this administration came into power. We have an administration "scrubbing" photos so we can't see Jack Abramoff standing next to the president. The Congress shakes its finger at the president for wiretapping without jumping through the normal legal hoops (as morally minimal as they are), but doing nothing to ensure he toes the line in the future. Republicans call for "investigative committees" that may or not convene during this century. Democrats get on their high horse and talk about how everyone would have free access to the internet if they are voted back into power.
None of them care about you and me. None of them remember the thin times, the years without, months where bills had to be juggled and the phone wasn't paid in order to keep the hot water on. Most of them have known this life. Most of them like giving themselves pay raises and justifying it by telling us that being a politician is hard work (i.e. away from home all the time and the junkets and the bad food and the lousy golf and the slimy lobbyists who try and bribe them successfully and the press that won't let them alone and the late nights drinking martinis while they try to coerce multinationals and gimungous corporations into flopping a throwaway to the masses in return for gimungous tax breaks and the speeches they can't charge $100,000 for yet because they're still a public servant and the book deal they signed and haven't ghostwritten a lick of yet). Do you think that one of these politicians truly gives a damn about you or me? The new guys are always the wave of the future, the ones who get elected because they're pissed off at the way things are run. We listen and we vote with our hearts. But time and again we are let down by the very "reformers" who hold us for the moment in their sway. Until we find out that they compromised the very values they insisted were the ones they would never let go of. The values elected them for. Politics is not a clean affair. Don't let anyone tell you different. There is almost no way in which a politician can stay truly clean. Compromises ARE made. Deals ARE cut by enemies if only to ensure that one amendment is included in a bill. BUT.
But it seems to me that more and more our "elected officials" are cutting and running from the basic paltforms which got them into their hallowed positions. More and more they are "listening" to their consituents and disregarding all. When the public says that Bush is not doing a good job, why are they not en masse arriving at his doorstep and demanding accountability? When the public says that Alito is untrustworthy why are they not stopping the proceedings and calling for more questions? When the public thinks that Iraq is a big, fucking mess why are they not addressing this in the Senate or the House in any meaningful manner? The president once said that he didn't run his business according to polls or something like that. But the polls are based on talking to the very people who vote. The very people who care enough to speak up. The very people who stood up to the British and said "enough is enough" (no offense to living Brits unless, of course, you think another invasion is warranted).
And that brings up another point of contention. Why are we being forced to go all the way back to original signers of the Decalration of Independence and the Constitution in order to argue the merits of Democracy? Democracy is the reason we are here. Democracy is the foundation. But it seems that (after almost 250 years) we still don't get it. Every one of us wants power. Still. Every one of us wants our person in a place of influence in order to promote our narrow frame of thinking. We have no tolerance for those who think differently. We have no ability to accept that we are all free thinkers and we continue to exist precisely because of that. We are because we can. But every other word out of our political mouths is "can't". If we continue to be so obsessed with "can't", then we probably deserve to be looked at as an empire and deserve to reap the consequences of an empire.

We Now Return You To Your Regularly Broadcast Porn

in case you weren't aware, Exxon has posted record corporate earnings. Not "record" as in their largest ever, but as in the largest ever by any entity. ever. it's worth more than Indonesia (this last year's profits alone). and it is still in appelate court trying to get out of punitive damages for the Exxon Valdez spill, claiming that all of its cleanup resulted in almost no harm to the environment or livelihoods of the fishermen up there in Alaska. the punitive damages sit in the mid-single digit billion dollars. their profits from last year alone are in the high double digit billions. now is as good a time as any to stop filling up at Exxon's pumps.

as loath as i am to criticize our administration in its attempts to quell that little hiccup known colloquially as "global terrorism" and "growing global hatred" i must point out this article. and note that it is a war crime (see the Geneva Convention rules) to hold a non-combatant hostage in order to force a suspected enemy to surrender. in this case, wives of suspected terrorists have been arrested and held as ransom (in a sense. i doubt that the wives would have been let go if the husband turned himself in). what has happened to the women in these instances i don't know. one memo states a wife was released after an American military person complained officially. is that we are willing to do ? shout out: "give yourself up or the bitch gets it and your little dog, too"?
makes me want to post more porn:

House Warming

so, this is my house, my back yard (fairly vertical) and my sky. not so pornographic...if you're not anti-dry sleep. personally, i love this backyard. it's absolutely unmanageable. i couldn't really do a damn thing with it. it will be what it is.
the house itself is warm. cozy. enough room for the cat to bounce and bounce. that light on a stand in front i will look at soon to see if i can get it lit. these free standing, connected outposts can be tricky. i know i'll suss it. i only hope that it gets sussed before i'm soused. i only say that, because i can.
but when i look out my window and i see a huge explosion behind a large tree i have to take a look. you see, the clouds fly low over my house. and sometimes they are gigantic. sometimes, i think i should run for cover, because they can look like a tornado.
and that's all i have to say about that.

Porn 24/7 Hot Nasty Kinky Sex Poodles HNT

In my new, ongoing effort to help the government root out "evildoers" of the online porno community (and, yeah, Lecram and Zonthar have already fallen into my little honeytrap) I feel commited to showing you yet more pornographic images (not that Penelope is by any means pornographic...except in my dreams!).
So, feast your eyes, dirty little commies!:

Had enough? Want more? Huh? Do ya? Like I said, 24/7. Tune in tomorrow when you're done scrubbing your optics with a brillo pad and scraping the white-out off of your moniter screen.

p.s. if pictures aren't your gig, if you like reading porn more, then this is for you:

MANAMA, Bahrain -- Pop star Michael Jackson was spotted shopping in a Bahrain mall on Wednesday, hiding his face behind a veil and donning a black robe traditionally worn by women in the Gulf.

Did you like my porn? The first pic's of me and my BIGBIGBIG nostrils breathing the CLEANCLEANCLEAN air of the 'NO. Do you like HNTHNTHNT? Then go here and absorb all you can. There's nothing like absorption to make you feel fresh. and it will help me further my porno entrapment cause and win me big lobbying bucks.

Aaaaand The Winner Of This Week's Obsession Goes To...

Penelope Cruz! And to those of you who think any nudity is porn, you're dead wrong. This is a wonderful picture from Open Your Eyes. Open Your Eyes is the original movie that they copied for Vanilla Sky. Vanilla Sky is just one more example of why Tom Cruise should not be allowed to attempt to act. Or breed (the movie's not the reason, he is).
Penelope, on the other breast, is a fine, fine actress and should you need further proof just rent Woman On Top.
Ah, Penelope. You make my life bearable even in the darkest of hours.

Letter To The Spinners (not the music group)

well, i sent these questions to all of the "guests" on the McLaughlin Group. If any answer (and Tony Blankly has in the past) I'll let you know whether you like it or not.
Her are the questions:
1) How do you not call for presidential impeachment proceedings when it's becoming clearer and clearer that Bush circumvented the FISA law? FISA was set up to make it as easy as possible for a president to obtain a warrant for wiretapping. The threshold for evidence of need is the smallest legal modicum possible. Why, then, would Bush attempt an around-end of this law if he felt his actions were legal? Time being of the essence cannot be an argument concerning FISA. Bush could start his wiretapping three days before approaching the FISA judges. And these judges have granted nearly all requests (only four denied) since FISA's inception. So, where (to you) is the legal basis for Bush's actions regarding this?
2) As a follow-up: If Bush was legally entitled to circumvent FISA, then why did he lie about it at first? And, after that, why did he claim the 5th, then admit it, then claim that Clinton and Carter did it (which they didn't), then assert that had he been doing this before 9/11 he might have been able to prevent 9/11? It's a fact that Bush knew bin Laden was planning to attack us with airplanes. It's a fact that Bush knew law enforcement was surveilling illegal aliens on our soil who were taking flying lessons and had direct ties to bin Laden. It's a fact that Bush did nothing about it and shooed away those who tried to clue him in to the information. And Bush's current argument that announcing he was covertly wiretapping phone conversations would alert terrorists and cause them to shut up or find new ways to communicate doesn't seem to hold water in light of the information we know he had prior to 9/11. So, why did he need to lie about the existence of wiretapping ("When we talk about wiretapping, we're talking about getting a court order. That hasn't changed...")? Terrorists have to know that any communication of theirs is being sought by the very people they seek to harm. If I was a terrorist I think I'd be smart enough to figure that out.
3) This wasn't on the show, but I'd like to know your thoughts. Jack Abramoff has claimed that he met with George Bush, that he knows George Bush. Bush's office has claimed the opposite. In fact, TIME has a photo showing Bush and Abramoff together at a meeting. Bush's office has said Abramoff wasn't present at the meeting, but key Indian tribe clients who were there assert the opposite. Key Indian clients who were in the same picture. So, the question is: Who do we believe? The constituents present or the Office? Abramoff has been tied to more than two dozen Republican politicians and the White House. There is photographic proof that Abramoff was at a meeting (not a party) with Bush and the White House is trying to tell us it never happened. Who do we believe? This administration has a detailed and public record of lying and dissembling in the face of known facts. Who do we believe?While I hold no hope that you will reply to this, I thank you for hopefully reading it.

I Got Rhythm, Ataxic Rhythm

One thing that very few people know about me is that I am Abraham Lincoln's first cousin, four times removed. That means that my great-great-great grandmother (give or take) was his aunt (or uncle...hard to tell sometimes in those old tin-types). This, in and of itself, means nothing. Everyone is related to someone famous somewhere back in time. Everyone will be related to someone famous somewhere forward in time.
However, that's not the point. This is the point. It seems that a mutated gene which causes a form of ataxia has been found and traced down through the descendents of Honest Abe's family (or a branch thereof). All the way through to the present.
What's ataxia, you ask? Good question. Gold star for you.
When one considers ataxia, one should first picture in the mind a drunken pirate. A drunken pirate on land. A drunken pirate on land for the first time in a very long time. With a large parrot on one shoulder that adds weight more to one side of the pirate's body than the other. This is an extreme picture. But most drunken pirates who own parrots tend to be extreme.
So, there is a list to this pirate's gait.
Now, picture this gait on someone who has never sailed. Picture it on a landlubber. A sober landlubber. A teatotaling, Bible thumping, dry docked landlubber. Again, an extreme picture. But again, these people tend to be very extreme. Even without the parrot. Or because of. Not sure.
Ataxia is this (from the MD Virtual University):
"Ataxia describes a lack of coordination while performing voluntary movements. It may appear as clumsiness, inaccuracy, or instability. Movements are not smooth and may appear disjointed or jerky.
Ataxia may affect any part of the body. When it affects the arms and hands, it may cause tremor due to over-correction of inaccurate movements, past-pointing when an attempted reach overshoots the target, and poor performance of regular, repeated movements, such as hand clapping. When ataxia affects mechanisms of walking, there will be instability with a tendency to fall. As a result, the child usually adopts a wide-based gait, with the feet spread further apart than the hips. This is done in an attempt to compensate for the instability. The gait may appear "drunken." Balance may also be affected; the child may fall spontaneously or be unable to compensate for variations in the ground or a mild push from the side. When ataxia affects speech, it leads to "scanning" speech. In this form of speech, the voice is relatively monotone, often with a breathy sound accompanied by unusual accelerations or pauses between syllables. When ataxia affects the eyes, rapid shifts of gaze to look at a particular object often miss. On careful examination, the eyes may be observed to overshoot or undershoot their mark, with "catch-up" movements."
Now to my point. If any of the class is still awake, that is. Personally, I dozed a bit right around "Ataxia describes..."
My point is that for all of these years when I've appeared intoxicated, lubricated, under the weather, out of my gourd pissing mad, ripped to the gills, three sheets to the wind, stupefied, mesmerized, hypmotized, and just generally shitass drunk...I really wasn't. It was the ataxia talking.
Now, I know a few of you, or some or you, or maybe most or all of you are saying to yourselves right now, right this minute in fact, "SSM has got his head up his anus". But think. When you and I were out on the town (well, at Livingstone's) and you saw me drinking what appeared to be a brown beer, how did you know it was beer? That and tea look exactly the same. When you thought you heard me asking for a taxi, could I actually having been announcing "I feel ataxic"?
So, there you have it. All these years I've been pulling the wool over your eyes. I was always ashamed of my ataxia, so I pretended to be the town drunk. I'm a good actor, after all.
Just felt I should tell the truth and be done with it.
And I think that deserves a round.
Of applause, dammit!

Hot Off The Press

"Cheney said the tape showed that al-Qaida has been hobbled, because "they didn't have the ability to do anything on video" and because it had been so long since bin Laden had been heard from."
Hey. Good news. We have al-quaeda on the run. They can't even afford a video camera. In comments not approved for dissemination, Cheney added that he expects the next message to be delivered on an Etch-A-Sketch. After that, stone tablet and chisel. But by the November election, he hopes to announce a huge terrorist attack imminent and of biblical (King James revised) proportions. Cheney's spokesman stressed that the attack announcement would be theoretical and "most likely only used in the event of looming Democratic gains in the Senate or House of Representatives during the run-up to the next election cycle".
At today's White House press briefing, Scott McClellan reiterated that the coincidence of the tape of bin Laden appearing around the same time as that of the increasing Republican scandal surrounding Jack Abramoff's conviction and subsequent "squealing" to prosecuters about who he paid off for favors, while highly unlikely, was merely an unfortunate "'cervix of combostuble events'. His words exactly. The President would in no way want to appear as having had a hand in distracting the hard-working media and the common citizenry from non-events not happening within the White House or with its Brown...yes, David? What would you like to insinuate today?".
The Democrats were quick to respond. Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada) proposed a committee to investigate steroid abuse by the Mafia, while Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York) called for an investigation into a possible candidacy for the 2008 presidential nomination citing bin Laden's offer to cease hostilities as a sign that "most terrorists are likely to vote Democratic in the next election cycle" thereby ensuring an uptick of at least .00182% in voter registration. Howard Dean could not be reached for comment. The Republican National Committee, however, downplayed Clinton's comments stating that in the 2004 election almost all known domestic and foreign terrorists voted Republican and that the RNC didn't see that changing so long as President Bush remained commited to the "war on terror". Said one RNC analyst, asking for anonymity, "Until we as a nation soften in our stance against terror the Republican Party can expect continued support from all of those miscreants who would bring down our noble effort". Clarification could not be obtained at press time as to what "noble effort" meant.
What does this mean to the average person on the street? We didn't know, so we asked one. Juble Jenkinsoninfromtonshire, age "41" and living in the Northwest, wasn't sure what all of the fuss was about.
Said Jenkinsoninfromtonshire, "Being average, I can only hypothesize. Perhaps this confluence of irregular confabulations will set off tintinabulations within the auracles of the hoi-polloi. Now get off my cardboard bed and away from my heating grate. This is MY turf until the DOW tops 12,000."
Efforts to reach Jenkinsoninfromtonshire for a follow-up interview were fruitless as, according to his PR firm, he was out of cell phone reach on an aluminum recycling pilgrimage.

Sanctity of Life. By Gum!

"At no point are we not going to value the sanctity of life," said prison spokesman Vernell Crittendon. "We would resuscitate him," then execute him.
No offense to those of you who support the death penalty for whatever reason (even though I think y'all are morons), but what the hell??? Clarence Ray Allen- a vicious, unrepetent asshole who was resuscitated once back in September for a supposedly fatal heart attack- asked his captors to let him just die if he had another one before his execution. The above response says it all about our so-called criminal justice system and the (lack of) morality therein.
"Sanctity of life"??? We will bring you back as many times as necessary, because we believe in the Sanctity of Life, so that we can kill you deaddeaddead in order to prove a point. I'm guessing the point is about the Sanctity of Life somehow. He didn't believe in it while he was ordering hits from prison, but somehow by kickstarting his heart as many times as it takes we ("we" being the morons) are showing him and the world that we value human life so much we will do whatever it takes to keep someone alive long enough to kill him legally. Um, put quotation marks around legally. So that it looks like this: "legally". Not to be confused with "morally". Or "financially feasible". Or "reducing the violent crime rate". Or "making the victims' families really feel any better in the long run".
Did you know it costs more to put a prisoner to death "legally" than it does to just lock them up forever and throw away the key? If a murderer continues to be a naughty boy in prison, then take away phone and visitation rights. Don't allow him access to the real world. Spy on his lawyers. My goodness, we're doing it to "terrorists" right now and we have so much less evidence against them.
But no. Put the American to death. Gas him. Electrocute him. Shoot his heart full of holes. Stick a needle in his veins. Then talk about how humane it all is. And how it will bring peace to the families of his victims. And how we are a nation of laws and crime cannot go unpunished and how the punishment must fit the crime. I'm all for a person forfeiting their right to life as we see it. And I'm all for the punishment fitting the crime. But how does killing the convict truly punish him? We've ended his suffering. We've ended his sentence. We are still stuck with his legacy. And it takes us long, long years and millions in taxpayers' money to do so. And 99.9999999% of us couldn't give a shit about that one scumbag. And does it statistically lower the violent crime rate? A big, fat, resounding no.
Unfortunately, it's the morons who make the loudest noise in this arena. Why? Dunno. Maybe they're still pissed off about Viet Nam, the Civil Rights Movement, the New Deal, the Civil War and King George the 3rd turning out to be a big pussy. Really, I don't know. Hell, it could all be constipation from the Roadkill Stew. Enlightenment, people. That's all I ask. And not on the "moral" issue. Fuck that. We should all know by now that revenge solves nothing. I'm more concerned about the moolah and the lawyers sucking it up like the bottom feeders they are. And the politicians using it as an elective stance when really they don't give a shit either. And the preachers who never opened a Bible, but know the right words to get their flocks to tithe. And the Rotarians for whatever reason. I don't think they're related to this rant, but they really bother me. So, they're in.
Any time I think of these people, I hear in my head the line from The Big Lebowski:
"Eight-year-olds, dude."

Just For APJ

See? I am SO over Sandra Bullock.

A Hard Rain Is Gonna Fall

it's raining again. we had one glorious day of no rain yesterday and the cat got kicked the hell out of the house. up to yesterday, there had been 27 straight days of rain. the record is 33. here in bremerton we did get enough to count it as the 28th day, so the streak continues. and my monthly rain total sat at 8.5 inches...before the current downpour started up. the monthly average for january is 8.3 inches. so, it's a wet one. but i love it.
and speaking of things i love, here is Al Gore's speech today commemorating Martin Luther King Day.

bald eagle

amazing the life one can find in the back yard. was just hanging out, ignoring the angry crows that divebombed it. 

In Denial? Laugh It Off!

Torture got you down? Lack of body armor? No viable exit strategy? Had your enlistment extended by 2 or 3 years? Seen your buddy blown away by an Improvised Explosive Device? Got a letter from your spouse about this? Haven't seen your husband, wife or children in too long? About to go back to Iraq or Afghanistan and put yourself in the line of fire? Lost a limb? Lost a lover? Suffering from Post or PreTraumatic Stress Syndrome? Depressed by a burning urinary tract or organ failure due to exposure to Depleted Uranium? Husband's semen has a burning effect in your uterus due to his exposure to Depleted Uranium? Children are acting like a really bad episode of Spouse Swap without the swap? Feeling suicidal because of any or all of these things? Well, if you're in the military or are married to one of its members or are the offspring thereof, then you're in luck.
It used to be that you went to the VA and waited in line and received subpar medical treatment (if at all). Sometimes you would be told it was all in your head and you'd be referred to a shrink who told you it was all in your head and to take these little pills and try to live the brave life. But now...
Now, you can beat the blues with laughter, officially recognized and sanctioned by the Pentagon. Gone will be the blues from the wind of your guffaws. Gone the nasty, empty feeling that would normally accompany reintegration into civilian life. Gone the pre- and postpartum symptoms of losing a loved one to de- or redeployment for all concerned. Huzzah!
Necessary no more will be the psychiatrists, support groups and medical staffs who would belittle you, baffle you and bullshit you.
It's new, it's brilliant, it's shiny! And it can only be found at Pentagonco!
From the same people who brought you Abu Ghraib Jenga (stack 'em up and pull 'em out one by one). And the Original Iraqi Christmas Tree (complete with wires, tree topper in the shape of a hood and 12 volt battery). And Bunker Busters (for the complete 4th of July fireworks party). And Operation: Secret Rendition (don't land too close to the air control tower or it will buzz!). And The Laugher (for those lonely nights when only laughter can turn those lights back on).

But seriously...forced laughter IS good medicine for the sick soul. Much better than honest tears or rightious anger. So, turn that frown upside down and be a happy camper. And know that your president is doing everything he can to bring our troops home safely and in one piece. Oh, oh gosh, I'm making myself laugh now. Ha ha. Wow, I feel way better. Thanks, Pentagonco!

Another Way For My Mom To Track Me

Americablog just bought three days worth of Wesley Clark's cell phone records. Not to out him, but to out the law that allows anyone to buy anyone else's records. Stunning.
And quite the bargain I must say.
However, the question leaps forth: why Clark? Why not Bush or Cheney or Rove or Rumsfeld or Rice? My uneducated guess is that those phone records are "protected for national security reasons".
No matter. This is unacceptable.

The Problem With Internet Porn

from today's sitemeter here at Dyerama, reader #22:

Visit 22


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rr.com ? (Commercial)
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Blame My Sister

I've been reading Kurt Vonnegut's "A Man Without A Country". My sister gave it to me as a Christmas present. There's irony there, folks.
And while reading I came across the section wherein V talks about a book he's been trying (unsuccessfully, so far) to write. It stars Gil Berman. Gil is a stand-up comic at the end of time aka as the world is at the end of being slowly (or not so slowly) destroyed by its evergrowing demand for the very things that make the world self-sustaining.
And V muses:
"What about God? If He were alive today? Gil Berman says, "God would have to be an atheist, because the excrement has hit the air-conditioning big time, big time."
And it made me wonder:
Does God have a God? Is there anything in the Bible that speaks to God's Father? Yes, we all know that God is All Powerful, All Knowing, Omniscient. But does He have a Boss? Does He answer to anyone other than Himself? If He doesn't, then oversight stops there.
And if God doesn't have Management, then (in a sense) He IS an atheist. He has only Himself to worship.
And He is the Ultimate Authority on all things Godly and no one is there to take Him to task for anything and He is worshiping Himself as the Final Arbiter...
Then why get so pissed off about Jonestown, which would seem like a tea party gone bad?
Or the gassing of Jews, which would look like a frat prank gotten out of hand?
Or even Iraq, which could be just infantile hazing?
Or our delicate democracy as it slides downhill? Most petri dishes fail.
If God has no Father (or Mother or Wood Nymph with a lazy eye), then God MUST be an atheist. And that would be the ultimate irony. Worshipping a deity who doesn't believe in deities.
And damn funny, to boot.
Then again, I think God's a chemist and He's about 500 tests away from getting it right. Or close enough to publish.

Smart Car

Yesterday I went to my office's Holiday Party. I guess it was our Christmas party, just two weeks late. I wasn't too sure that I wanted to go. I'm not big on parties or other social gatherings. I can usually find a "reason" to not go or to slip away early. Perhaps I'm a bit people-phobic. Perhaps I'm a bit of a social claustrophobe. And I know I always drink too much in these settings. Probably because of what I just wrote about myself. Alcohol does seem to make other people (and me) more interesting and easier to put up with for more than 15 minutes.
But that's not what I was writing about. Yesterday was the Office Party. And I was iffy on the whole thing. Do I go, because I'm new to the office and it would look good to the established rank-and-file? Do I not go and make it known right out of the gate that I'm neither goer nor joiner? Do I show late (so the gig is in full swing and my arrival goes mostly unnoticed, thereby sidestepping the possibility of forced small talk) and leave early (before most of the others thereby sidestepping forced small talk with the hardcores)? What to do?
After a not inconsiderably amount of mental discussion with the voices in my head, I chose to attend as if I was myself. I was late, but not because I intended to be. Mapquest took that decision out of my hands.
The party took place at a bowling alley. We had about 10 lanes reserved for us. The pizza was free as was the beer. The one person in the office who matches my mental oddities was there and watching the the strikes and gutters. When I showed, he looked at me and asked, "grab a lane?". Of course. He entered the names and became "Dude". I was "Donnie". We quickly found that we could order pitchers of real beer from the waitress and it was on the company tab. We quickly found that bowling politically had its downs (we're both liberal and I was hooking to the left, but he was opening to the right) which could not be rectified by listening to either Lewis Black or Rush Limbaugh. We, also, found that we bowled better with the gutter railings up. When the environmental engineer and her husband showed up, they wanted to play with the Rail Bro's. We monickered them "Walter" and "Quintana". By the middle of the party it seemed everyone else had given up on looking competent and had raised their railings, too. Tip to the uninitiated: don't actually aim at the railings thinking that they might be useful ala billiards (you may end up knocking down your neighbor's pins).
So, four pitchers of beer, four games and lots of jokes (and a $25 Target giftcard via raffle) later, it was time to go. I had stayed longer than planned and had more fun than expected. Who knew the whole shebang would be just bowling? I had become so used to being stuck at a dinner table with folks I had no interest in and being forced to listen to how great the company was and was doing and being given a "present" that had nothing to do with who I am (one ticket to a Roger Rodka's Dinner Theater musical without the dinner...oh well, at least I wouldn't have to pony up for my date...right, Rosie?) and being told that I would have to provide for my own alcohol and wearing a nametag (in case the lab manager from another office I'd pissed off three months earlier was looking for me) that I assumed no office could know how to have a good time and let the office stay at the office.
But I was talking about how it was time to go. Walking to the car and by no means not in control of myself I found that my remote unlocker wasn't working. Dead battery? I unlocked the car with key and sat down to wait for the "kill switch" to disable. 15 minutes later, I headed over to the drugstore to buy a new battery. That didn't work. In fact, the remote still didn't work. I was parked right next to a Midas center, so I went over to see if they could do an emergency diagnostic. They agreed to loo at it to make sure it wasn't a blown fuse or dead battery, but if it was the wiring the car would have to stay until Monday. As soon as the manager called out to a guy to look at it, the guy yelled back "you mean the one that had its lights left on?". Now, my car dings at me when I'm leaving the car and the lights have not been turned off. Smart car, don't you think? Looking out for itself. The best technology our generation has to serve up. Won't let you mess up. Looks after you. Allows you to think about other, more important things. But I got out, locked the car up and walked off regardless. Why didn't the car yell something at me like Bill Cosby's doorbell? Can a car fall into a snit so quickly?
Anyway, I was talking about leaving. So, Midas jumped the battery and that's all it was. Still, I couldn't help but wonder if the car's snitting had not turned into wanting to teach me a lesson and provide an involuntary sobriety check. I feel I was in control from the get-go, but who knows? The car may have known better. It could truly be a Smart Car. Of course, if that's the case, why did it let me drive to the trading card shop and buy $160 worth of baseball cards?

P.S. Did I mention how out of shape I am? My hips are damn sore from bowling. Long ago I learned proper form, but not how to be talented. And today I'm hurting from swiveling them hips. Who'd athunk that bowlers might be athletes?

View From The Front Porch

Okay, so I used the zoom lens and it's a bit unfocused. What's your point? Whatever. That's what I see on a clear day. The Cascades (Mt. Rainier out of picture to the right). Life's rough, I know. And I didn't get a shot of the bald eagle cruising over the city. This area is so ugly I don't see how anyone could live here. Oh well, I'll survive somehow. 

yeah, this is what I see in my backyard at night...tree "house" in the apple tree. ripe set for a dramedy that includes ghost children, psycho neighbors and canning jars. and stars snadra bullock (not that i'm still obsessing on her...if you want, you can substitute Samanthat Motron for Sandra and I'll be okay with that).

Bush Declares He's Telling The Truth This TIme

"I'm not making this up,"
Oh well then. I guess I've gotta go with Bush now. He's telling the truth. How do I know? Because he said so. What, ain't good enough for you? Dirty little Commie. You dare to question the integrity of the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? Might as well put a turban on your head and eat the rest of those children you got hanging in your sandhut.

Scooter "Free" Ride

Scooter scoots from potential felon to perenially fraudulent. Honestly, how does a person under indictment for crimes against the country get a job offer? Yes, I know I sound naive, but I'm not. Really. Doesn't it strike you as almost inevitable now that no matter what the administration pulls at our expense to enrich theirs they will somehow come up smelling like right wing roses? This man is under indictment by a federal Special Prosecutor. He is no longer working for the White House. He is supposed to be disgraced merely by being touched with the indictment wand. Had Clinton been offered a job by the ACLU (he's a lawyer after all) in the event that he was actually kicked out of office the Right wuld have been apoplectic and denouncing the ACLU as commies, reds, pinkos, terrorists sympathizers and everything that's wrong with Liberal Media. Scooter gets an offer and I'll bet not one Republican (and few Democrats) will stand up and say this is completely unethical, immoral and downright not too cool.
Of course, the unspoken message here is this: the Heritage Foundation expects Scooter, if he's convicted, to be pardoned by Bush on Bush's way out. And they would be right.
I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby , chief of staff and national security adviser to Vice President Cheney until that indictment unpleasantness a few months ago, has found a new perch as he awaits trial.

Polls Lie, But You Know I Never Will

Hmmm...JBS couldn't stand for the John Birch Society, could it? Could it?!? Why, yes indeedy. It could. Click the red thingy if you don't believe me. The Birchers are either being hit hard by the left wing version of Freepers (may they rot in New Jersey) or the trend of right wing loonies getting more and more disgusted with our Imperial Idiot is growing.
(Hey George, God called. He said to move 10 feet farther away from Dick "Grounding Rod" Cheney the next time you see a cloud. He's getting tired of having to actually aim.)

JBS POLL
Should George Bush be impeached and removed from office?

Yes, because he lied us into war, has used the NSA to eavesdrop on the conversations of Americans without a court order, and has violated the Constitution in other ways. 59%

No, because George W. Bush was justified in going to war and continues to do a good job. 18%

No, because even though he has made mistakes those mistakes do not rise to the level of impeachment. 20%

I don't know. 3%

Hot Off The Press (Generik Should Like This One)

Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! What the hell is this? NATO is 'unreliable'? What, because they weren't necessarily so giggly about invading Iraq? David Sirota finds this item buried in a UK paper, but nowhere in the US journals:
"The Bush administration says it wants to be able to form 'coalitions of the willing' more efficiently for dealing with future conflicts rather than turning to existing but unreliable institutional alliances such as Nato. 'We ad hoc our way through coalitions of the willing. That's the future,' a senior State Department official said in a briefing this week."
It wasn't oh so long ago that our beloved White House was telling us just how unreliable and obsolete the UN and the Geneva Convention were. So, what's the message here? No matter what the law is we'll find a way around it or just scrap it altogether? No matter what the majority of people and countries believe? If that's the case, then the Bible is way overdue for a burning. But, then, Bush does have God's ear (or the other way around). He's also a horse's ass and a monkey's nephew. Not that even I know what I meant by that. Doesn't relly matter, though. If Bush can read "Pet My Goat" to children I can make shit up.

Happy Birthday Lecram

NBC is checking into whether Christiane Amanpour was wiretapped by Bush. If this is true, that a journalist was spied on in the course of her journalistic duties, then we have us a whopper of a scandal that no one can ignore. Eavesdrop on a CNN reporter? We would be entering into Nixonian territory in terms of flagrant disregard for the law. Felony and high treason all the way, baby. Just think of the prominent Americans she has spoken to over the past four years that this wiretap gig has been in business. Who knows? Bush may have dirt on many biggie politicians without their knowing it. Who knows? Bush (and Cheney) may have been using overheard info to silence their critics across the aisle.

Oh yeah. David Letterman, on his show no less, tells Bill O'Reilly that he's 60% full of crap. Finally, a late night talk show host is doing something other than glitterati spooge and sponge-off.

Cherokee Nation, Cherokee Tribe! Evidently, this nation finally remembered that they have always held gay people in high regard as mystical people.

Considering that the Bush group refused to listen to Clinton holdouts about the Bin Laden threat prior to 9/11 it's amazing to read that Cheney claims if we had been wiretapping before then we could have stopped 9/11. How much more did they need to know about the threat before doing anything at all about it? They knew Clinton tried to target bin Laden with missiles. They knew of the reports about bin Laden planning on attacking us with hijacked planes. So, basically they needed a burning bush to point the way? Without big fat arrows pointing to the intended targets there was no way for them to even get close to an inkling of a suggestion of a whisper of a rumor that bin Laden had a hankering to get at us? Puh-leeze.

And a big happy birthday to that uber-maestro of demonic maestros: lecram.

New Year's Musings

Just pisses me off when I'm not allowed to post because of questionable content.
I read the Daily Kos today and clicked on the "boy are they stoopid" link. the link's writer asked for submissions to name a convention in contrast to 'Kosyearly". So, I did.

"Since it's Cheney who really runs the administration, how about:
Dick's Dicks in '06
and for the women:
Dick-WAC Heart Attack."

What's questionable about that? Quite catchy if you ask me and I know you did. What's that you say? The website probably didn't want suggestions that might in any way disparage our Commander-In-Thief? Oh. See, I didn't read it that way. I thought it was an honest and open environment for everyone. Not just the brainwashed...huh. Go figure.

Hee hee. Scott McClellan reads about as much as Bush:

Q Scott, Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff has pleaded guilty to fraud and corruption and tax evasion here in the federal court in Washington. Already the DNC has put out a statement essentially saying that this is another example of what they are calling the "culture of corruption and abuse of power" that has been the hallmarks of the Bush administration. Any response?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I've seen press reports that indicate that he has -- he and his clients have given to both Democrats and Republicans. So that's the first thing that I would say.Secondly, I'm not sure if he's actually entered a plea at this point, but the wrongdoing that he apparently now is acknowledging he was involved in is outrageous. And if he broke laws, he needs to be held to account and he needs to be punished. And beyond that, I think we'd just be speculating about things at this point, and I'm not going to engage in speculation.

You can read the links to find the lies, but I'll tell you now that it looks as if Abramhoff gave not one dime to any Democrat in quite some time and lots and lots to Republicans. As for his clients, they're not on trial at this point, so it seems that Scottie (good doggie) is already in smear mode. The first thing he would say is "he and his clients have given to both Democrats and Republicans"? Wow. That is as political and partisan a statement as I've ever heard come out of Scottie's (good doggie) mouth. Flat-out saying "it ain't just us". Not even a denial. Straight to the smear. Do I think that Dems are just as greedy as Reps? You bet. However, the Reps are in power and suffering the slings and arrows of folks who realize Reps are terrible at balancing greed with running a country. The Dems got very good at it. They learned to share some of it with us little people. The Reps can't quite get the hang of it. That's why all of the scandals. They don't understand that as the rich get richer, so must the poor and not as poor rise as well. Do they really think that someone like me is going to be swayed by a recitation of the Clintons' wealth? I know they're filthy rich. I, also, know that the very people pushing Bush and Cheney make the word "filthy" smell like baby's breath (which, to be honest, we all know can be somewhat offputting right after a good burping). Democrats accepting cash, favors, trips? Gasp. Ya think? But who is it getting caught? It ain't the Dems. At least, it ain't the Dems en masse. It's those idiot Reps who claimed the higher moral ground and then ground it under their heel. Almost as if they felt they were owed their due. Almost as if they felt a few trillion or so into the pockets of them and their backers was an acceptable butcher's bill for wiping out those devilish Dems. No mention of the fact that the trillions would be taxpayers' money, taxpayers' retirement, taxpayers' medical coverage, taxpayers' children's future, taxpayers' social security net, taxpayers' children's military deaths. No mention of the fact that they would be dispersing radioactive waste in Iraq. No mention that help would be scaled back to Asia in time of tsunami crisis, because one government wouldn't allow us military fly-over privileges while our aircraft carriers idled offshore. No mention that genocide is not cool if the victims aren't white (and therein can we blame both parties and most of America). Not a word about torture, carpet bombing, collateral damage, 100,000+ Iraqi civilians dead. No mention of a CIA agent's outing by the administration.
So much to condemn as an enlightened 21st century American. And so little to defend.

Jack Abramoff. Will he or won't he?
Scott (good doggie). Should he or shouldn't he?
The usual suspects. Did they or didn't they?

New Year's Resolutions

I feel the urge, nay the need, to make some New Year's resolutions. I don't know why. I don't know why. Perhaps, it's because I'm living in a new state and working a new job. Perhaps, it is truly time for new beginnings and an end to old habits. In my life I've always cast off the old when moving, like a worn cloak in need of too many darnings.
Perhaps, too, I am of an age now when one begins to think of death and the fact that I have well and truely passed into the downward arc of my life expectancy. And I look at my accomplishments so far and wonder if I've really done anything worthy of note. I look at my past and wonder how I lived to be this age. I look at my family and friends and wonder what they would have to say as my pall was lowered from shoulders and placed onto the ground awaiting final internment. And I think, "Not enough".

So, with this in mind, I make the following resolutions:

1. From now on I will fire only warning shots from my rifle unless it's being done in self-defense.

2. As of tomorrow I will not drink before noon unless I began the night before.

3. Starting tomorrow, I will show my friends all of the respect I think they are due.

4. From this point on I will no longer leave the blinds open when I masturbate to internet porn.

5. Tonight is the last time I will call George Bush a bitch-ass knob goblin.

6. Tomorrow I will begin calling George Bush many other things.

7. I resolute that next year I will stop obsessing about Sandra Bullock having sex with someone other than me.

8. Be it resolved for 2006 that I will go back to obsessing about Liv Tyler, Uma Thurman, Penelope Cruz, Paz Vega, Samantha Morton, Joan Cusack, Milla Jovovich, Chinese chicks, Audra MacDonald, Bernadette Peters, Laura Dern, and Fay having sex with men other than me.

9. I will never again (from midnight on) say "never again" again. I promise. Never again.

10. I will work to love those around me who love me first.

11. I resolve that I will never resolve to do anything that I am not capable of resolving while sober.

12. I will try to be sober more often.

13. In about an hour and a half I will beginning calling the cat Wetto and that will be that.

george bush is a bitch-ass knob goblin. bitch-ass knob goblin. bitch-ass knob goblin.

sandra, you two-timing bad boy bitch hussy. i coulda made you happy...in an anne heche coming to fresno in a drug hazed sort of way.

never again.

UPDATE: (10;26 PM)

Resolutions For 2007:

1. 12 and 13.

Common Goals

whoopsie. it seems that the house of representatives is at it again. unhappy that the president's illegal wiretapping has not led to any uncovering of real live bona fide terrorists other than a catholic school group and a box of Quaker Oats, it has decided to try and make it a federal crime (punishable by up to 5 years in prison) for...well, feeding the poor. nourishing the sick. clothing the children. all of those things that Jesus yada'd about.
you remember Jesus. he was that kind of homeless guy with no paper identification, he roused the rabble, sometimes depended on the kindness of strangers, spoke out against tyranny and foreign occupation, loved his brother, talked of camels being more flexible than rich folks. you know...yada. communist crap. evil-doer pap. enemy comforter stuff.
so, now our elected representatives are banding together and making sure that no one of his ilk can get to us real Americans and poison our minds unless he was born here and has an SSN number and can be tracked in the event that another law is passed letting us excommunicate the homegrown variety.
because it's the illegals that threaten our democracy. all of those brown skinned undocumented aliens out there in the field pretending to pick lettuce and grapes, but really passing along secret plans about overthrowing our way of life. keeping their backs and eyes lowered in false humility as we drive by in our cars, but really fingering their vest bombs and sawed-off uzis. thinking bloody thoughts and waiting to eat our young once they've gotten their daily quota of oranges picked.
i sleep better knowing i'm safer than i was yesterday. i walk taller now that i know only a real American is allowed to kill me legally. now i can rest in the comfort of only fearing real Americans. i now only have to fear my neighbors. and the meth dealers. and the white supremicists. and the ultra-religious. and the bigots. and the narrow-minded. and the haters. and the government.
but it's all good, because if this bill passes all of my fear will be associated only with real Americans. and that is a relief. because real Americans are much easier to recognize. we're the ones waving real American flags. we're the ones driving SUV's. we're the ones supporting our troops. we're the ones processing household chemicals into addictive substances. we're the ones spreading democracy around the world while shaving away civil liberties at home. we're the ones who see innocent humans as collateral damage. we're the ones who create kill-em-all video games and then rate them M for Mature so only mature people can play. we're the ones who offer death bonuses to soldiers and the balk at paying off. we're the ones who promise armor for bodies and humvees and then don't do anything. we're the ones who speak of compassion for all, but excoriate the poor for being poor. we're the ones who break the law and then say that it's okay, because God's on our side. we're the ones who punish the dissenter and reward the sinner.
we're the ones who think a 70-year-old man has a natural right to an artificial erection. we're the ones injecting ass fat into our faces, because there's nothing worse than looking one's age. let alone acting it.
we're becoming the Romans. not that the enemy is becoming Jesus. i don't think that Jesus or God would want any part of what we as a world are becoming.
but we're becoming the Romans as we (more and more) fear ourselves and our ability to make rational, informed, common sense decisions about the immediate world we live in. so long as we blindly follow and do what we're told we will always live in fear. and that's exactly what our leaders and their enemies want.
i love being an American. i just wish i could be a better one.
"Churches, social service agencies and immigration groups across the country are rallying against a provision in the recently passed House border-security bill that would make it a federal crime to offer services or assistance to illegal immigrants."
"America is a nation built on the rule of law, and this bill will help us protect our borders and crack down on illegal entry into the United States," Mr. Bush said after the House passed the measure. "Securing our borders is essential to securing the homeland."

Anus Horribilus?

"it is the very nature of a democracy that it not only does, but should, fight with one hand tied behind its back. It is also in the nature of democracy that it prevails against its enemies precisely because it does."
i love that quote. the rest of the article is here.

Have A Cracking Good New Year

(best of? not so sure about that. but then most of mine are dubious. so, i will leave you to greet the new year with my special smile. in hindsight, it makes sense.)
so, i work in an engineering lab. i've been doing this for 5 years now and have become way too proficient in the knowledge of soils and concrete (what it is, does, doesn't want to and shouldn't under any circumstances). if you land safely on an airport runway or arrive safely after a long or short road trip; if you survive an earthquake, because your building didn't collapse...you can thank me in part).
but it wasn't until i came to my current employer that i began to really learn about the black stuff your wheels grip. with that in mind, i present to you this pictorial tribute to my current passion. the stuff that keeps you safe. the road of happy returns: Ass-Fault. because no man should drive there alone.
HNT is a good thing. visit all of them. now, dammit!

Heidi-Ho

Rep. Norm Dicks gets an introduction from me to let him know that i live in his neighborhood now:

Dear Mr. Dicks, I write to you in a state of confusion. It's always been my understanding that no one is above the law. That is supposed to include the president of the United States. Perhaps, that should especially include the Prsident. And not too many years ago we proved that to former President Clinton. He was impeached for lying about an extra-marital affair. This time around, however, President Bush seems to be skating away from a much bigger lie. To wit, he had been approving unwarranted wiretapping in secret even as (and long before) he issued the following quote: "Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires - a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so"- George W. Bush April 20, 2004. This is not sex in the Oval Office. This is not parsing the definition of "is". What Bush has done is lie baldfaced to all of America about breaking a federal law. And he then continued to break it up until the present. He didn't just state the law, he told us he was following it. My confusion stems from the fact that you call the Republican party the Moral Party. Remember when your party said it was going to bring morality back to the White House? Why aren't you now going after Bush and holding him accountable for his lie? Democrats and Liberals (and, yes, there is a difference)alike would applaud you for sticking to your higher agenda. To not do so will bring you back down to where you were before gaining control of our government. As a representative of the people, you either stand firm for what makes our country great or you hide behind the colors of your party. You can choose to be an American or you can choose to be a party liner.It's your choice, but voters like me will remember your actions or lack thereof.

(this is not part of the letter)
also, Sen. John McCain wants high school students to decide whether Intelligent Design should be taught in their schools. Normally, this type of thinking would be considered an extremely liberal way of life. those colleges that let this happen tend to not be taken seriously by any other. evergreen state college comes to mind. but, if we let them decide on this, then i think it only fair that we allow them to vote on the drinking age, the voting age, the driving age, letting military recruiters on campus or not, condoms in the cafeteria...well, you see where i'm going with this. in short, it sounds like a political move by mccain to continue straddling the fence until he knows for sure who he needs to truly appease when it's voting time. not that i don't think children can't make an informed decision. i just don't see how the parents will stay out of it.

Oh. Did We Tread On Your Italian Loafers?

oh wow. the chicago tribune is reporting this. a serious mainstream newspaper is telling us just how bad the CIA fucked up. i mean, this is bad. i knew about the operation. i knew about the indictments. but this is the first time i got to read exact details of how it went down and just HOW BADLY THE CIA SCREWED IT UP. unfortunately, it could lend credence to the white house when it says it relied on the CIA for pre-war clearance. all in all, a mesmerizing read. almost straight out of a bad james bond book.

MILAN, Italy -- The trick is known to just about every two-bit crook in the cellular age: If you don't want the cops to know where you are, take the battery out of your cell phone when it's not in use.Had that trick been taught at the CIA's rural Virginia training school for covert operatives, the Bush administration might have avoided much of the current crisis in Europe over the practice the CIA calls "rendition," and CIA Director Porter Goss might not have ordered a sweeping review of the agency's field operations.

and this one made me laugh out loud. huzzah for harry holimas!

THE good news today is that the great 2005 war on Christmas, the conflagration that launched a thousand op-ed pieces and nearly as many battles on Fox News, is now officially over. And yes, Virginia - Christmas won.

and then i find this article on a major corporation trying to whore in on street taggers and graffiti artists. evidently, t.v., billboards, newspaper flyers, junk mail and random spam mails just earning the bread for Sony investors. now, the giant is tagging walls in violation of local law. to declare that the target consumer is too busy playing Grand Theft Auto to pay attention to its newest toy is basically saying that Sony sells to morons. however, what Sony is trying to sell us is that its consumer base is the street tagger, the hip guy on the street, the next wave in fashion. and this is the very guy who would tell Sony to stick its "lollipop" up its ass and call him/it a fag based on the imagery.
"gee willikers, beav, i think the retard's fallen in love with his dad's swat stick."
also, the kid on the wall looks positively stoned out of his mind. perhaps the gameplayer was swabbed with one of those mayan toads for visual enhancement.
by the way, has anyone else noticed that the more mature rating a game has the lower i.q. it takes to play it?
"Marketers are desperate to find ways to reach people," Garfield said. "Especially young men, who are far too busy playing Grand Theft Auto to notice, say, a 30-second TV commercial."

All The King's Men

i can't vouch for the article, but it does fall in line with arguments i've made here and in newspapers. depleted uranium (DU) is a nuclear weapon. in the first gulf war, we left behind between 500 and 1000 metric tons of its dust. i have no legitimate numbers concerning this war, but pre-estimates were in the range of 1000-2000 metric tons.
the thing is DU makes a great weapon point, because it begins to burn extremely hotly and can pierce tempered steel like that which is used to plate tanks. the only problem is that it continues to burn. forget what it will do to the skin if it makes contact in that state. the real concern is what it can do in particulate form (after it's done burning). DU is depleted uranium, a radioactive substance. it cannot be thrown away by nuclear power plants. it has a long half-life and must be stored for lengths of time that greatly surpass our own lifetimes. if it is ingested through the lungs it can and often will cause fatal cancers. more often, it causes organ failure. and immune system deficiencies. and birth defects. but, because we tip our standard armaments with it, we can claim we are not using nuclear weapons or weapons of mass destruction. you see, a little bit of this stuff in your lungs might not do anything. standing near it will not cause your testicles or ovaries to fall off. but live around it for any extended period of time and your chances of serious or fatal disease becomes very likely. besides malnutrition, DU is blamed by many health agencies as the leading cause of death and birth defect of iraqi children since 1991.
there is and will continue to be argument as to whether using a depleted radioactive substance counts as nuclear warfare. one, the government would have to admit accountability (legally, morally and financially); two, 1991 was the first time this weapon was deployed (so there is no precedent). three, we think of nuclear warfare as mushroom clouds and thousands dead in an instant.
i think that this use falls into the weapons of mass destruction category. why? because it is more insidious and subtler. and will affect many times more people than a nuclear bomb ever could. and no one will know until it's too late. at least, the people breathing the stuff won't. those of us on this side of the ocean should. but we're content to wave our protest banners and shout out slogans about how we've been against the war since the beginning. sort of like putting a magnet ribbon on a car to invoke patriotism. words and slogans. while hundreds of thousands of people are exposed to possible cancer and worse.
isn't it about or past time to demand that our leaders hold themselves to the same standards that they do other leaders of other countries? i'm not against war per se. sometimes a country has to stop another for the greater good. that's our history as a species. but how can we justify force to stop "evil" if we participate in the very acts we accuse the others of doing? we found no weapons of mass destruction in iraq, but we are leaving the mother of all WMDs in our wake.
any of you reading this can call me to task by asking for stats backed by reference. and i can't give it to you. because there are none. not for the illnesses. not for the iraqi children (and, by now, adults). the government does not accept that DU causes illness. no independent groups have been (to my knowledge) allowed unfettered access to those people affected. the news is all anecdotal. the stats are anecdotal. even the scientists and doctors who back my claims state that we may not know the total truth for decades, because radioactive illnesses can take a long time. as for the iraqi children... no one keeps track of how they die above noting time and probable cause of death (which normally looks like malnutrition). not to mention that most iraqi families have no access to doctors. the children grow sick and die. the family wails and buries within 24 hours. where have i been going with this? well, it just seems that all sides of the so-called debate about this war of ours has concentrated itself within the guise of "liar liar pants on fire" or "it's our god-given duty". no one in the mainstream is looking at this from a humanitarian perspective and what the future holds for all of those who are actually there.
well, harry holimas. i and my mimosa (which i drink in the relative safety of my house) salute you and yours and hope you have a SSM-curmudgeon-free weekend.
cheers!

Because I said So, Part II

as we all know by now, president bush has broken a major law. he went around FISA (the secret court put in place by jimmy carter that authorizes warrants for wiretapping) in order to spy on americans. he did so without the consent of this secret court (that has granted over 10,000 warrants and denied only 4 in 20+ years. he, also, did not inform congress in toto. no dorothy jokes there, please. and no changing inform to perform. civility, people.
so, here's my version of bush's various versions of the defense:

1. No, I didn't.
2. I'm not going to discuss sensitive military programs.
3. No, I didn't. Yeah, I did. Forgettaboutit.
4. Yeah. I did. So what?
5. It's not so much what I did as what they didn't tell me I couldn't do.
6. Clinton and Carter did it.
7. We're investigating the leak, because it's federal crime to leak this sort of thing.
8. No comment.
9. Iraqi elections. Good stuff. Bought a well there once.
10. I have this book I like to read called My Pet Goat.

and that was it. thankyouthankyouthankyou. and if you're into Half Knackered Harry Holimas as much as I am, then finish that beer and get me another. and we shall toast to ourselves and all who love us. and to all who don't...enjoy the canape.


(9:20 pm) added note:
the rain is falling like beach rain. a heavy drizzle with some mist. if you stand in it too long you will get very wet. but to watch? oh so cool. wetto is very, very confused. but she got all new cat litter. amazing how many times they go use it when they hang inside all of the time. those poor bushes back at my last place...and it would explain my problem getting bulbs to grow.

#312 from Reasons To Hate Cats: They won't fertilize for you. In fact, they crap where they crap on purpose.

whether it's to intentionally kill all living organisms within a two foot radius is up to debate. the fact that it does is not. if i could just teach her to shit in the woods.

Because I said So

coming down buckets up here today. basically, a solid week or more of rain. it's making up for the two weeks of dryness before. i'm coming on to a cold so all harry holimas plans are on hold. but it was bound to happen. a bug was flying around the office and peeing in one coffee cup after another, puking up on keyboards and mouses (love them little mousies, mousies what i love to eat...), rubbing its bum on telephone mouthpieces and the like. so, cali-boy takes one in the shorts as he was too busy forcing his body to adjust to a new climate. i've called in sick to work and tried to get some sleep, but Wetto (my cat) has cabin fever and is modifying her daily freakout schedule. normally, it's a once-a-day thing. now, it's every hour. i've gained a new appreciation for the cartoon strip called "get fuzzy".
but my copy of the 11th book in the robert jordan "wheel of time" series arrived yesterday and i've been happily devouring that in between naps.
another joyful thing is the sound i hear a few times a day. now, in fresno i would hear the (taped) bells of st. therese every hour. what a wonderful, relaxing thing. up here in this ship repair town the sound is that of foghorns as ships pull in and ships pull out and work shifts end. it's much too far away to rattle the good china (speaking of which, has anyone ever put out the bad china?), but it's a gentle reminder of the fact that i am surrounded by water. and the shipyard has grand fireworks shows when it finishes a job. there was an aircraft carrier parked here and when the work was finished they held a 45 minute show to celebrate. i could see most of it from my front window. too bad i didn't get a photo of it before it left. ah well. my digital camera will arrive soon and then i can bore you all with how ugly it is up here.

by the way, i wouldn't be doing my duty if i didn't remind everyone that they should research the articles of impeachment, because that is what's going to happen to bush if i have my way...though definately not before next year's congressional elections. democraps need to pull even with or overtake the republithugs in order to make it happen. oh, and the dems need to grow a spine. sometimes, it's more important to take a stand and risk public failure than it is to not and ensure re-election. these so-called public servants are not so much. on either side of the aisle. when they're voted out or they retire they go right into lobbying business and begin earning 10-20 times what they were as "public servants". so, for most of them this whole elected gig is just one rung on a ladder that keeps going up. it's resume fodder. it's glitz and glam and gary glitter. and every season we look to the rookies, hoping they will provide the shock and awe so desparately needed to infuse conscience and moral fiber back into that cesspool we call washinton, d.c. but then we get pissed if they don't line up with everything we stand for. no wonder they become so jaded so fast.
some of my friends like to blame the current climate solely on bush and his bedfellows (he did get a man date after all). but really it's us. we vote them in. or we don't vote at all. either way we bitch when things don't go our way. and, yes, politics is as broken as the california welfare and child support systems. but defending our way of life as a democracy does not mean going to the polls when asked to and then ignoring it after that. and it doesn't mean banging a gong and screaming about crypto-facism and then not voting at all. voting is not a privilege. it is a duty. the pols are supposed to work for us, but as long as they know or feel we're sheep who will do what we're told they will continue to walk all over us. on both sides of the aisle.
maybe it's time for someone to buy two hours of airtime on all of the major network stations and run "network" so no matter which channel you turn to...there it is.

Godzilla VS Meganaire

okay. wait a minute.so, yeah, here i am suggesting impeachment upon president bush. but i haven't thought about the ramifications of it. if bush is booted then cheney assumes the mantle. and cheney is vastly more intelligent, machiavellian, inhuman and driven. this wouldn't be nixon/ford. this would be...worse. much worse. there would be no waffling. there would be plundering and raping at a meteoric pace.
as a liberal democrat i should be loudly cheering bush's latest gaffe that actually qualifies a major crime. you know? finally, something that no one can deny. but yet...
i begin to wonder who leaked that bit of news to the papers. have you noticed that the white house has not announced an investigation on any paper's page one? bush condemned the leak. he even went so far as to say that that information was top-secret. and he couldn't believe that someone would leak it? think back to valerie plame and compare these two. with plame they promised an investigation and bush said that anyone involved in the leak would not be working for the white house anymore. then he amended that to anyone arrested. then he watered it down to anyone found guilty. eventually (in one speech) he changed it to convicted. this time there's nothing. and to me the question now becomes "is this the house of cards that was supposed to fall a long time ago and somehow hasn't yet?".
so, we boot bush and in comes cheney. and that scares the hell out of me. he's been running the show. so, who leaked the info? why do we always think it must be a person of conscience? i think there's a pony's chance of the leaker being someone greedier. someone more like cheney.
and suddenly i wonder if keeping bush in might be better than allowing cheney full access. what're the fucking odds on this one?
but i'm also the guy who stands in the drizzle up here and yells "piss harder". so maybe i'm not the proper barrister. and maybe sometimes a piss is just a piss.

Has Bush Created Such A Mess That Impeachment Can't Be An Option?

From the White House website itself in April 2004 is the transcript of one of his speeches. Below is a portion. Click here to view the entire piece. It speaks for itself. Bush broke the very law he claimed he was upholding and would uphold. He lied. Plain and simple to the people in the audience and to the nation. This is much, much worse than a blowjob. Remember that as he was speaking these words he had already reauthorized warrantless wiretapping multiple times. This should be considered a treasonable action:
(italics are mine)
"Secondly, there are such things as roving wiretaps. Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires -- a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so. It's important for our fellow citizens to understand, when you think Patriot Act, constitutional guarantees are in place when it comes to doing what is necessary to protect our homeland, because we value the Constitution.
But a roving wiretap means -- it was primarily used for drug lords. A guy, a pretty intelligence drug lord would have a phone, and in old days they could just get a tap on that phone. So guess what he'd do? He'd get him another phone, particularly with the advent of the cell phones. And so he'd start changing cell phones, which made it hard for our DEA types to listen, to run down these guys polluting our streets. And that changed, the law changed on -- roving wiretaps were available for chasing down drug lords. They weren't available for chasing down terrorists, see? And that didn't make any sense in the post-9/11 era. If we couldn't use a tool that we're using against mobsters on terrorists, something needed to happen.
The Patriot Act changed that. So with court order, law enforcement officials can now use what's called roving wiretaps, which will prevent a terrorist from switching cell phones in order to get a message out to one of his buddies.
Thirdly, to give you an example of what we're talking about, there's something called delayed notification warrants. Those are very important. I see some people, first responders nodding their heads about what they mean. These are a common tool used to catch mobsters. In other words, it allows people to collect data before everybody is aware of what's going on. It requires a court order. It requires protection under the law. We couldn't use these against terrorists, but we could use against gangs.

Harry Holimus

so, "dr. germ" and "mrs. anthrax"---two leading scientists in saddam hussein's bio-warfare department--- were released today from U.S. custody. evidently, their story that all bio-weapons had been destroyed before our dirty little war began is true. we, on the other hand, are merely saying that they represent no threat to us. we are not saying, "oopsie. whaddya know? that goldurned saddam wasn't shittin' us. maybe we shouldn't have forced out those UN inspectors right before we started bombing. um, i mean we shouldn't have bombed. um, i mean it's all about the democracy, ya know? don't be a defeatist. defeatism sucks and takes away from analyzing history...later on."
wait a minute. hold the phone. wasn't it dick cheney who claimed that saddam kicked the UN out that last time? why, i think it was. not us. no sir. we did not tell the UN we could no longer vouch for the inspectors' safety, because we were about to begin taking out biblically important sites (evidently, oil rigs and financial centers aren't). even though those inspectors had completely unfettered access to any and all sites and the saddam regime was no longer slowing them down. not ONE WMD. nowhere. nada. nights. niente. zip. zilcho. null set. absent. did saddam have them? well, you bet. who did he get them from? well, democracy and freedom. back when iran was the axis of evil. so to speak. wait, it still is. funny how the enemies of your enemies are your frineds until they're not and your enemies still are. kind of makes a person wonder if the shenanigans are worth it in the long run. unless, of course, democracy and freedom for a people who don't know what the hell you're talking about are on the line. then, it's an imperative. until it's not. or until the military/industrial complex whispers that its backers (read: manufacturers) aren't making a big enough profit from the annual "blow everything up so all of our military budgets can be renewed for the same or higher level". did you know that? before each year fiscally ends for the military there is a mass movement to explode as many armaments as possible. why? because if you don't then the government decides in its infinite wisdom that your branch of the military must not need as much money the next year. the military would have us believe that these armaments have a very short safe life expectancy, but that's not true. we're using artillery in iraq right now that have been stockpiled for years. but to keep even with the other military branches each branch feels the need (no, knows the need) to rid itself of as much artillery as possible. this is "rising to the highest level of one's incompetence" as possible. our government will slash funding for groups that prove they can operate within their boundaries. militarily, that is. why doesn't it, instead, reward for fiscal responsibility? ironic, too, that it is cutting funding on the very domestic and social groups that need more and complaining that they don't do enough oversight and rein in their spending (even as these groups watch their funding diminish each and every year). so, simple government math. overfunded military + needless spending = more. underfunded domestic/social programs + need = no more free handouts you lazy welfare queens and useless commoners.
how i got to this from iraq i don't know. but if you'd been on the receiving end of my phone call with my boss 30 minutes ago about something i have no control over, you wouldn't know or care.
Harry Holimus!

Bush Tried To Snow Us This Weekend And The Weather Up Here Shows Him How It's Really Done

hey, it's snowing a bit tonight. it probably won't stick around (it won't get cold enough). but still, whoo hoo! it looks great falling through the streetlights.
and that reminds me: as we all should know by now, president bush broke the law by authorizing spying on US citizens without first getting warrants as proscribed by judicial system. thinkprogress.com has dug up some of alberto gonzalez's testimony before congress when he was being nominated to attorney general. oopsie...he flat-out said bush was not above the law and that he would inform congress if illegalities were commited by the Chimp. go here for more.

Saturday Ramble

today, president bush addressed the nation via radio and defended his 30 times renewed policy of secretly spying on americans, stating that it was vital in protecting us from terrorists. tomorrow, he will speak to us via television and probably not bring this up (because many more people watch tv than listen to radio). there is much debate over the legality of this surveillance. the NSA can read my emails, tap my phone, search my purchase history, demand access to my employment personnel file, track my library visits, and walk through my home without a warrant of any kind when i'm not there. every 45 days bush must re-authorize this and he has done so more than 30 times. in a row. no time off for good behavior for us (with no assurance that this works other than bush's tired "trust me" ticket like he tried to use with harriet meirs). and it wasn't until recently that anyone other than a very select few at the highest levels of government knew about this. a top secret memo was leaked to the media last week, i think, and it immediately created an uproar. sen. arlen spector has called for an investigation into the policy's legality. at first, bush said that confirming its authenticity would put the program and its operatives at risk and expressed deep concern that someone would leak this type of intelligence (evidently, bush has a very short memory or he would have noted the irony in relation to valerie plame's outing and his statement at the time that anyone involved in this would be fired). one quote to make one think:
"our enemies have learned information they should not have, and the unauthorized disclosure of this effort damages our national security and puts our citizens at risk. Revealing classified information is illegal, alerts our enemies and endangers our country."
but the crux of this post is to remind people that this is not a one-off by our "elected" administration. in case you have forgotten, a while back we bugged UN secretary general kofi annan's office in order to get a leg up on anyone who might oppose our dirty little war. you can read alternet's article from the archives here. we spied on the UN in flagrant violation of international and domestic law. and our so-called newspeople wouldn't touch it. why? dunno. maybe because at that time no one was standing up to the government. objective press then meant no future access. and, as bob woodward so eloquently put it when he finally admitted he'd sold his journalistic integrity to the highest bidder, access is all that matters.

Also, i did not know this until recently, but evidently it is a crime punishable by prison time in many european countries to deny that the holocaust happened. and, as has been proven of late, this law has teeth. two men have been arrested and accused in the past month. one of them was convicted in absentia by germany and extradited by us. now, iran's bigwig has stepped into this by calling the holocaust a myth. and our administration is talking about economic sanctions in order to punish iran. now, as dumb as i think someone would have to be to claim that a whole shitload of jews weren't killed by the nazis, i have to wonder about this being a crime. it's an opinion. it's a thought. and it lends real credence to george orwell's fictional thought crimes. europeans are very reluctant to discuss racism (and denying the holocaust does fall into that category). it's a very, very sensitive subject. polls have shown that they admire america for the fact that (at least) our racism is out in the open and is debated publicly and often. in europe, it's different. perhaps because of the holocaust no one wants to talk about the fact that some countries didn't learn their lesson when it comes to tolerance and acceptance. perhaps in their rush after WWII to bring in immigrants for the workforce they overreached. perhaps being seen as a rolemodel for tolerance was more diplomatically important than monitoring the potential fallouts to the native populations. france just experienced what can happen when non-natives are allowed in and then ignored for great lengths of time.
but anyway. i was wondering what will happen to the people of iran if international sanctions (i.e. economic, military, agricultural, medical) are placed on them. history has proved that over 500,000 iraqi children died as a result of sanctions we placed on them after the first war back in 1991. we put the sanctions in place to purportedly force the iraqi government into heeling. it didn't and as a result we helped cause our own little holocaust. is this what we're willing to live with in iran? no sane westerner would want iran to have nuclear bombs. but will that same sane westerner be willing to relive a recent historical failure of grave consequence? we've done the same thing to north korea. while our sanctions haven't produced one iota of governmental difference there many hundreds of thousands of innocent people have died from starvation and freezing. and that's the thing about sanctions: if we get to the point where we are forced to impose them, then we've already failed. the threat of sanctions can work on weaker regimes. most of them rely on foreign investment if only to prop an unpopular figurehead or group of cronies. but when dealing with strong (and you can read that as totally despotic with the backing of the military) governments that refuse to yield it's somewhat inevitable that war will ensue.
so, i'm done wandering. see you later.