Torture got you down? Lack of body armor? No viable exit strategy? Had your enlistment extended by 2 or 3 years? Seen your buddy blown away by an Improvised Explosive Device? Got a letter from your spouse about this? Haven't seen your husband, wife or children in too long? About to go back to Iraq or Afghanistan and put yourself in the line of fire? Lost a limb? Lost a lover? Suffering from Post or PreTraumatic Stress Syndrome? Depressed by a burning urinary tract or organ failure due to exposure to Depleted Uranium? Husband's semen has a burning effect in your uterus due to his exposure to Depleted Uranium? Children are acting like a really bad episode of Spouse Swap without the swap? Feeling suicidal because of any or all of these things? Well, if you're in the military or are married to one of its members or are the offspring thereof, then you're in luck.
It used to be that you went to the VA and waited in line and received subpar medical treatment (if at all). Sometimes you would be told it was all in your head and you'd be referred to a shrink who told you it was all in your head and to take these little pills and try to live the brave life. But now...
Now, you can beat the blues with laughter, officially recognized and sanctioned by the Pentagon. Gone will be the blues from the wind of your guffaws. Gone the nasty, empty feeling that would normally accompany reintegration into civilian life. Gone the pre- and postpartum symptoms of losing a loved one to de- or redeployment for all concerned. Huzzah!
Necessary no more will be the psychiatrists, support groups and medical staffs who would belittle you, baffle you and bullshit you.
It's new, it's brilliant, it's shiny! And it can only be found at Pentagonco!
From the same people who brought you Abu Ghraib Jenga (stack 'em up and pull 'em out one by one). And the Original Iraqi Christmas Tree (complete with wires, tree topper in the shape of a hood and 12 volt battery). And Bunker Busters (for the complete 4th of July fireworks party). And Operation: Secret Rendition (don't land too close to the air control tower or it will buzz!). And The Laugher (for those lonely nights when only laughter can turn those lights back on).
But seriously...forced laughter IS good medicine for the sick soul. Much better than honest tears or rightious anger. So, turn that frown upside down and be a happy camper. And know that your president is doing everything he can to bring our troops home safely and in one piece. Oh, oh gosh, I'm making myself laugh now. Ha ha. Wow, I feel way better. Thanks, Pentagonco!