whoopsie. it seems that the house of representatives is at it again. unhappy that the president's illegal wiretapping has not led to any uncovering of real live bona fide terrorists other than a catholic school group and a box of Quaker Oats, it has decided to try and make it a federal crime (punishable by up to 5 years in prison) for...well, feeding the poor. nourishing the sick. clothing the children. all of those things that Jesus yada'd about.
you remember Jesus. he was that kind of homeless guy with no paper identification, he roused the rabble, sometimes depended on the kindness of strangers, spoke out against tyranny and foreign occupation, loved his brother, talked of camels being more flexible than rich folks. you know...yada. communist crap. evil-doer pap. enemy comforter stuff.
so, now our elected representatives are banding together and making sure that no one of his ilk can get to us real Americans and poison our minds unless he was born here and has an SSN number and can be tracked in the event that another law is passed letting us excommunicate the homegrown variety.
because it's the illegals that threaten our democracy. all of those brown skinned undocumented aliens out there in the field pretending to pick lettuce and grapes, but really passing along secret plans about overthrowing our way of life. keeping their backs and eyes lowered in false humility as we drive by in our cars, but really fingering their vest bombs and sawed-off uzis. thinking bloody thoughts and waiting to eat our young once they've gotten their daily quota of oranges picked.
i sleep better knowing i'm safer than i was yesterday. i walk taller now that i know only a real American is allowed to kill me legally. now i can rest in the comfort of only fearing real Americans. i now only have to fear my neighbors. and the meth dealers. and the white supremicists. and the ultra-religious. and the bigots. and the narrow-minded. and the haters. and the government.
but it's all good, because if this bill passes all of my fear will be associated only with real Americans. and that is a relief. because real Americans are much easier to recognize. we're the ones waving real American flags. we're the ones driving SUV's. we're the ones supporting our troops. we're the ones processing household chemicals into addictive substances. we're the ones spreading democracy around the world while shaving away civil liberties at home. we're the ones who see innocent humans as collateral damage. we're the ones who create kill-em-all video games and then rate them M for Mature so only mature people can play. we're the ones who offer death bonuses to soldiers and the balk at paying off. we're the ones who promise armor for bodies and humvees and then don't do anything. we're the ones who speak of compassion for all, but excoriate the poor for being poor. we're the ones who break the law and then say that it's okay, because God's on our side. we're the ones who punish the dissenter and reward the sinner.
we're the ones who think a 70-year-old man has a natural right to an artificial erection. we're the ones injecting ass fat into our faces, because there's nothing worse than looking one's age. let alone acting it.
we're becoming the Romans. not that the enemy is becoming Jesus. i don't think that Jesus or God would want any part of what we as a world are becoming.
but we're becoming the Romans as we (more and more) fear ourselves and our ability to make rational, informed, common sense decisions about the immediate world we live in. so long as we blindly follow and do what we're told we will always live in fear. and that's exactly what our leaders and their enemies want.
i love being an American. i just wish i could be a better one.
"Churches, social service agencies and immigration groups across the country are rallying against a provision in the recently passed House border-security bill that would make it a federal crime to offer services or assistance to illegal immigrants."
"America is a nation built on the rule of law, and this bill will help us protect our borders and crack down on illegal entry into the United States," Mr. Bush said after the House passed the measure. "Securing our borders is essential to securing the homeland."