Letter To The Editor

(oops. after my last post i made the odd decision to write to mr cohen. i'm trying t0 figure out if it's too much beer and not enough zucchini? Or too much zucchini and not enough beer? Or both?)

Mr. Cohen,
You don't find Mr. Colbert funny. Okay. You claim you're funny. Okay. Why is it, though, that you are relegated to writing words that snipe at others from the safety of your First Amendment rights and the cover of your newspaper's lawyers while Colbert is doing his thing on a channel owned by a very conservative company? You called him rude and a bully. In fact, he stuck his neck out in order to make the point that no one among us is beyond reproach. The fact that he basically called the Washington press corps stenographers should be clelebrated. For they are stenographers. If they weren't, Helen Thomas would not be sitting in the back row each day. The fact that he mocked the President made me feel an empowerment I haven't felt for some time. Finally, someone was making jokes that my intellectual brain was enjoying. Where were you when the conservative talk show hosts were lampooning Bill Clinton about his blowjob and not being funny? Did you stand up and shout out that it was disrespectful of the President and his office to mock him? Just because it's a public function does not mean that Bush should be held as would be a crystal vase. You're either a journalist and reporter who adheres to the truth of the matter at hand and not the party line or you are a partisan sycophant. Make your choice and shout it out.

(well, that was just the peachiest letter, wasn't it dearies? i know i'll get a reply from him as soon as he reads it. that's the way those top journalists are. they know the regular person like they know the back of their hand. because the back of the hand is what they see when they clutch their paychecks. write what i tell you and thank me for it. if i do get an answer i will print it here)