Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I Like Em Scrambled
It's very simple. We need to bomb China and India back into the Stone Age. If they have no roads and cars to drive on them, then we get our oil back. Pushing on Iran isn't the answer, obviously. We push, they get pissed off and turn the handle down on the oil spigot. We bomb them and we lose their oil supply. China and India make deals behind our backs with African nations and whonot and we sit by pretending not to notice. No. Nuke those two and gas prices fall back to 75 cents a gallon, in part because there's more oil to go around and because everyone else is so frigging scared we might radioactivate their testicles as well. I love it. Nuke, nuke, nuke. In the end, we will own all. And the cockroaches will have mutated enough that we can name them and (hopefully) housebreak them. Of course, the platypus will look on and mutter things about our genitalia and how, if evolution favors humans, it didn't give them the ability to lay eggs in the first place (but I will answer by pointing out that electing Bush is, in fact, laying a rather large egg; it's just that humans choose to do it en masse, it seems to take an entire country to produce only one).