Sunday, March 19, 2006

Tom Cruise Is Not Gay And Neither Is Chef

man, do i love yahoo news. it has a way of skewering the topic while providing information. the latest is the so-called controversy over South park having an episode yanked at the behest of Tom Cruise. Cruise denies it (well, one of his flaks does) and, according to yahoo, is an "avowed heterosexual". what the hell does that mean? professing one's love for women in public? while jumping on a couch? and telling talking heads that they know nothing about the history chemical imbalances? while he does (i'll bet he does)?
i don't think i've seen anyone in the public eye work harder to convince the world at large that he is NOT GAY than mr Cruise. you'd think after failed marriages to mimi rogers and nicole kidman, a supposed romance with penelope cruz and what ever this thing is with katie holmes (all sans biological children) that we would just admit and accept that he MUST BE NOT GAY. how many times must he change babes before we will give up on our demonic crusade to OUT HIM? i personally feel sorry for the man and all the energy he has been forced to expend defending his sexuality when it could have going toward making more award winning movies. like the mission impossible series. or collateral where he put white stuff in his hair. or that one where he plays the shallow guy who is forced to look within himself and realize he is better than that. oh wait, that's pretty much all of them. god, i love him. if only he weren't so STRAIGHT.


lecram sinun said...

Look SSM... he did none of those things at the Rogue... he must be gay.

airplanejayne said...

"cause if it happens at the Rogue, it's not gay..."

gawd, I luv that line

airplanejayne said...

but he is SO000000 gay, for many reasons, but mostly because:

Jayne found him attractive. And, as we know, Jayne ALWAYS finds gay men HOT, HOT HOT!

scarysquirrelman said...

do you think I'm sexy?

Mustang said...

He needs a map..ergo..he is gay!