Saturday, August 20, 2005

I Hab A Dode

just want to do a quick shout out to vicks vaporub. i have lived on this stuff anytime i've had a cold for all of my life. it is a healing elixir. congested chest, nose? dab it, smear it, rub it. all good.
but this time around my summer cold has been acting in a very funny fashion. i first felt the symptoms on the day of lecram's last meat burning. i thought it was allergies at first, but eventually i had to give in and admit that i was sick. i tried the special lecram home remedy (turn the shower on as hot as you can stand it, stick your butt in it for as long as you can stand it, then apply vicks behind the ears). that seemed to work and i felt i was on my way to kicking this cold in record time (two days). unfortunately, it returned two days after that with more congestion and a mucus buffet. being a smoker i am used to these things taking their time. but this morning at 5 i was awakened by a most godawful my ear. my throat was raw and my sinuses were blocked (i assume the raw throat was from snoring due to the sinus thingy and not due to last night's nocturnal admissions), but the weirdest part was that my left ear was totally clogged. i couldn't hear anything. and it hurt like hell. after half an hour of tossing and turning, hoping it would go away, i moved to the couch in order to get some more sleep while sitting up. eventually, the pain subsided to something liveable. i went into work this morning and found that two other people have had this cold and experienced the same ear problem. now, that's somewhat of a relief, because i thought i was going deaf. i seriously thought i had a problem beyond the cold. well, the ear has never popped today. it has been stuffed up all day long. the pain has come and gone and come again. i noticed that it would begin to hurt more when i needed to blow my nose, so it is definately connected to my sinuses...
but just now i decided to put some more vicks behind my ears to see if any change would occur and-lo and behold- it seems to be easing the pressure somewhat. not completely, but some and anything is welcome.
so, snaps to vick vaporub, which sits in an exalted place in the medicine cabinet right next to that wonder drug sayman's salve. this salve can cure cancer, i swear to god. i have yet to try it on a burn, cut, infection, fungus, ingrown toenail, skin problem, heat rash, jock itch, surface hemorrhoids or athlete's foot and not had complete satisfaction. you won't find it at your local store (though they might order it for you), but it used to be a stock item in all pharmacies and drug stores. they even came out with a soap that was supposed to be dermatologically stupendous and it disappeared as well.
so, if you are tired of looking for the next great cure for common maladies, then stop and go back in time to the two curatives that stand the test of time.
by the way, anyone have special home remedies for colds that they absolutely swear by? i can riff all day on the benefits of theraflu, but i'm asking about the remedies that your ma and pa used on you and weren't bought in a package from a store. anyone?


lecram sinun said...

I had a similar thing happen just before the Rogue this year... the cold was gone but my ears were stuffed up for a month.

D.J. said...

I have had the same thing for nearly 2 months now. My ears were clogged terribly and have finally started clearing and I can hear better. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to get hearing aids. Thank goodness it is better. DJ