Tuesday, August 02, 2005
The Adventures of Buck Buck #3
...hmmm...so, i've made it out of that one guy's pocket. gave me up for a beer. how do you like that? one buck, one beer. he didn't get charged for the second beer or one of my comrades- ducat and cash -would be hanging with me still.
anyway, i'm free at last. thank god almighty, i'm free at last. now if i can only get this new guy to pick me up from the computer table and put me in his pocket. otherwise, how can he spend me? hope there's no sawbucks or larger already in there. change is nice. they're sociable, like to chatter a bit when they're bored. good way to while the waiting time.
huh. he keeps staring at me, then glancing away quickly. wonder what that's about?
oh crap. he's got a cat. filthy little beasts. if i'm so much as moved an inch i'll become a flip toy. okay, so let's concentrate on no wind. still as a midsummer's day. nothing to see here you nasty little monster. keep moving. oh look, it's baby jesus on a string! man, cats are dumb.
...i'm starting to think this may not be my day. he just sits there staring at his computer screen and occasionally pecking inexpertly at it. now, he's surfing the web. wonder what he's looking-- oh, that's just disgusting. perv!!! oh god, spend me quick! and with the other hand!!!
...i feel so dirty and used...
(police blotter #18843-28: supect was turned in by owner at 14:23:30 on 8/2/05. supect gives its name as "buck". refused to speak or cooperate with arresting officers. appeared delusional, paranoid and wrinkled. upon body search, smallish amounts of white residue were noted. suspect was consequently tested for drugs. trace amounts of cocaine, speed and crystal meth were present in suspect's fibers. suspect was remanded to owner's custody with one year's probation. conditions of probation are as follows:
1. no loitering near liquor stores;
2. no loitering near toilet tanks;
3. not to be seen rolled up in public;
4. not to be seen in north fresno college bars;
5. complete 30 cents of a drug diversion program;
6. no gang associations (i.e. "13th street hempers").
suspect is required to check in weekly with an officer of the court to verify current address and may be subject to random drug tests. any failure to comply with all or any of the above requirements may result in a jail sentence of no more than one year and a fine of one dollar.)
update circa 19:27-
yup, this guy's pretty much a tradeoff with the last guy. goes to the store, buys beer and cigarettes. pays with plastic. yeah, i know i couldn't cover the purchase. but he could have gotten rid of some of the "elite" that he is still holding onto. and he had them in his pocket (yes, i'm forced into uncomfortably close confines with a five, ten and twenty...bitchy little pricks).
ah well, tomorrow's a new day and he does so like the catering truck that shows up at work for the morning break. perhaps he'll want a muffin or breakfast burrito. one can only hope and dream, because his pocket is dark, warm and humid. and smells of elderberries.