Friday, February 15, 2008

Who Says the Arab World Won't Learn From Democracy?

(apologies to those who feel it unamerican to visit al jazeera's website [or are afraid they'll be put on someone's terrorist watch list], but i doubt we'll be seeing this bit of news in any american newspaper)

"Al Jazeera has said a code adopted by Arab states to govern satellite broadcasting could shackle freedom of expression.
Arab information ministers meeting on Tuesday in Cairo endorsed the charter, which allows host countries to annul or suspend the licence of any broadcaster found in violation of the rules it sets...

...The Cairo document stipulates that satellite channels "should not damage social harmony, national unity, public order or traditional values".

Anas al-Fiqi, the Egyptian information minister, said his country would be the first to implement the charter.
"Some satellite channels have strayed from the correct path," he said...

...The Cairo charter stipulates that channels should " refrain from broadcasting anything which calls into question God, the monotheistic religions, the prophets, sects or symbols of the various religious communities".

sweet, the 22 Arab League members are actually very american (just like jesus) in their irrational fears about outsiders and infidels. this could be the New Coalition of the Willing To Kill All Who Disagree.

We should have a summit (by "we" i mean Bush), cut some brush, shoot someone in the face and attack Iran.

i mean, we should sit down, discuss our differences and how to reconcile them since we seem to agree on the "outside agitators" thing, then attack iran.

no, i mean, we should let them redress our women with their eyes, become our AA sponsors, butt into our need to Butt Out From Smoking, then attack iran.

um, i mean, we should fuse our two gods, destroy Tibet and Nepal, eat a cow for christ and asparagus for allah, ban the obese, the unwashed and those who wear bowties, bow to the East (which works for me, because washington, d.c. is in that general direction from where i sit), and then attack iran.

wait, i mean, we should destroy all gods but the true god (and east or west, we all know which one that is, right?), spread social hegemony, refrain from "bombasting anything which calls into question Cod, the mannishbeastic digestions, the poppets, sex or cymbals of nefarious incisions", then (finally) attack iran.
okay, i think i've got it right. yeah. let's do it!


airplanejayne said...

great. simply fricking great.

now those Homeland Security people are gonna come question me AGAIN about you...

so, what do I tell them THIS time!?!?!?

airplanejayne said...

Oh! I forgot the last line:

::munching on a cow, waving an asparagus spear, yelling, "Yo! Ho! Bring me a poppet for sex! Let's invade Iran!"::

fishstick said...

yea! it'll be just like a party, but with bigger fireworks!