Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Badger Badger Badger

what's that, steph? you wanted scooter? okay.
scooter scooter scooter.
commute commute commute.
bullshit bullshit bullshit.
happy fucking independence day:
to whomever still truly believes in it and feels like the government serves us and has our best interests at heart;
to us, as a nation and an idea, who depend on celebrities to titillate us and distract from those issues not nearly as important (like civil rights, group morality, justice for all, equality, honesty, humbleness, compassion for those in need, transparency of government, protection of the weak, an open ear to the powerless, a turned cheek to the angry, not casting the first stone if one is not completely innocent of any wrongdoing) so that we may while away our days feeling superior to those coke sniffing, beaver flashing, head shaving, bible in prison carrying, wife join the scientologists making, little black baby stealing, next unnecessary pregnancy announcing, overblown steroid denouncing, nascar fist fighting, posthumous porn star dna paternity testing, dead pregnant housewife idolizing miscreants who make our country the star of hope that it is to the rest of the world (and why we are held above all others in god's eyes);
to the brave men and women (unless they're fags or dykes) who are overseas shooting at insurgents and terrorists ranging in age from 5 to 95, because their commander-in-chief is too busy commuting the sentence of his little buddy and preparing for a full pardon (even though he didn't consult the Justice Department, the prosecuting attorney, wait until all appeals are finished as is the normal doctrine or the convicted actually asked for the commutation) and can't be concerned about a "minor uptick" in military casualties, which he said should be expected for the next unforseeable future, and the soldiers are in fear for their lives, because they still don't have enough body armor, plate protection on their trucks and tanks, proper directions from their field commanders or protection from the enormous amount of depleted uranium they have unleashed into the air and ground;
and to those among us who merely want to blow shit up in a safe and sane environment on the one day of the year when it's sort of allowed and don't really intend to hold a silent vigil or a moment when we remember all of those who have fallen or whatever.

join me at you know where for festive fireworks, food and drinks. all religions, ethnicities and sexual lifestyles are encouraged (except fags, dykes, muslims, vegetarians, and methodists).
Commies and fascists okay so long as you agree to hold the fireworks while i light them.


airplanejayne said...

ya know, I musta missed the change in our government from three SEPARATE branches to one omnipotent/impotent branch....

commies and fags are coming to my house? cool....
looking forward to dancing in the flames, monkeyboy.

mintzworks said...

Ahhhh....now THAT was refreshing. Written in that commie style so akin to Ellyn Maybe (http://www.ellynmaybe.com/)

Vomited blogtruth. What more can I ask for on the day two grown men ate 129 hot dogs in 15 minutes?

mintzworks said...


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