Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Rogue At The Piggly Wiggly

wanna see some cool ad space for the Rogue? aughra over at bad news blonde did a collage for the festival at my request. check it out. she totally rocks.

oops. dick cheney is less popular than o.j. simpson and michael jackson. the good news is that he's still slightly more popular than paris hilton (huh? she could be my veep anyday).

now, you know i looooove anonymous commenters. especially the ones i can identify through my magical powers. so, i'm down with someone not wanting to post a real name (hey, none of us do!) for reasons of security. in new jersey, however, a politician is attempting to force anyone on the internet to include their legal name if they wish to make noise of any kind. "bringing civility back into the discussion" or some such nonsense is how he puts it. check it out.

ooh, bad moon rising. don't piss off the scientists on their own turfizzle. some of the pencil necked geeks are taking it to da man (that would be bush and his (cough) appointees).

and again. gay penguins cannot be trusted. do not open the door for them, even if they are holding morman pamphlets. turn off the porch light, hide the eggs and call 9-1-1. you people don't seem to realize just how serious this is. if gay penguins are allowed to adopt and have books written about them, then no human child is safe from their "turn all human children into sissies" agenda. and this is evidently what the gay penguins have in mind. it's not enough that they've convinced male pandas to not have sex ever again (repeat after me: eucalyptus leaves yummy, female pandas fat and stupidly inscrutable). it's not enough that gay penguins are the reason for the dodo bird's demise (little known fact: penguins and dodos once fought for breeding territory. you do the math). some scientists will try to convince you that penguins are not gay, they're just extremely nearsighted. which is a fact. and some anthrpologists will tell you that when two male penguins are kept in captivity since birth and have no females around they may feel the need for a little good-ol-boy fun. but i'm here to tell you that the gay penguin agenda is also a fact. and they're everywhere. did you know there are penguins in australia? a country that doesn't know snow. a country that touts its manliness 24/7 with movies like crocodile dundee and rugged actors like russel crowe, guy pearce and hugo weaving. a continent of great white sharks, poison spitting lizards and really big beer. you might be saying right now, "no. penguins in the outback? totally nuts. how can this be?". yet, they are there. and some of them have to be gay and looking to adopt. look at the numbers: if, on the average, one out of ten humans is gay and we outnumber the penguins by like a lot (many researchers put the ratio at 10:1), then it just proves that one out of every penguin must be gay. makes you think twice before visiting the zoo.
and don't get me started on puffins and sea otters.


-does this need anything said that's not said already? just look at the coifs. clinton's all over that. not to mention the chino eyes. clinton had the humboldt, bush mistook ecstasy for aspirin. boooooring. plus, he gets no pie!

"We should fight the enemy. We should not fight each other". this was said in defense of a committee vote to not investigate illegal eavesdropping. remember, there is a law in place since 1978 ( i believe ) that orders a president to ask the court for permission to eavesdrop. the court has turned down 4 ( i believe ) requests in a lot of years. this can be asked for almost three days after surveillance starts. if it's turned down, then no one is allowed to talk about what they saw. not too shabby. but some congress people are thinking that even that much intrusion into the administration's machinations is an invasion of policy. i mean privacy. and what i think is that government privacy should be held to the same standards as piracy on the high seas.

and "the poopdeck is closed" means the poopdeck is closed. don't know why i wrote that, but poopdeck is a really funny word. what the hell goes on on a poopdeck? or in? or near? is pop really poop? is poop slang? i know it's on a ship, so deck must be accurate, right? whatever poop is it's happening on one of the decks.

3 comments:

Mustang said...

Yea, and those walrus's are "bears" if I ever saw one, and how about narwals. Yea..what about narwals, and maybe..SPERM WHALES. Faggotty fish..

M

scarysquirrelman said...

you should probably hide your avatar when you involve yourself in this discussion, oh "silver backed" on.

Mustang said...

ooo..point taken.