Wednesday, September 28, 2005

HNT Goes Coastal

we walked into the theater and claimed our spots. we were first in line, the three of us. picking seats in that back row (because that's usually the safest place in a Neo-Surrealist show) we began to enjoy our beers. lecram had run out after the previous show and bought a fifth of C.C. you see, the Neo-Surrealists are what some might categorize as "drunken fools on a parade float with four flat tires and nowhere to go". in plainer words, they don't care what happens so long as they have fun and make us have fun in the process. but i don't agree. i think they have a master plan to show themselves as aliens, take over the world and then redo mount rushmore to make it look like mojo nixon, lyle lovett, ed wood and all of southern culture on the skids. oh, and they're drunk. the Neo's, that is.

so, they we are. lecram has handed me the fifth. i have yet to open it. i had been drinking most of that afternoon, but it was all beer. i don't like to mix beer with the hard stuff on the weekend. so, i left it capped and sealed. then, daniel walked in and asked in his childlike voice "so, where that drink?". or something to that effect (one year it was "who's got the fucking booze?"). i have to admit now that the bottle was for him and his cohorts. i have learned over the past 4 years that (when walking into one of his shows) one should come well stocked.
but i digress. we're here for the show.
well, i don't remember how it started other than lights down. but the lights down part was pretty good. then a man was rubbing northern quilted toilet paper through his crack while yelling at the quilters that the stitching was'nt tight enough. then really bad carpentry...hit a bit close to home. at one point a mime fucked up a heckler. the c.c. came back out for the portrait session. somewhere in there, they threw cheese at us. generik and i were given chocolate as a love gift by a naked man whose genitalia always reminds me of a lotus blossom on the pond. i mean literally. and that's all i mean... shut up.
there were bouncy balls with a black light. a "go fly a kite" song. zuskha wasn't there this year and she is my favorite techie in the world, because she's really pretty and got naked for the show last year. in fact, there were 4 or 5 naked women in that booth. where'd that go?
so anyway. i'd broken the rule of the festival that said no pictures allowed during a show. well, i didn't break it really. when daniel was hanging out before the show and told me he was doing the "love" skit i told him about HNT and asked him if it would be okay to use him for it. he agreed and told the actors that there would a flash during the skit. but when it started i couldn't do it. he was on top of his game that night. i've seen that skit 4 times now and this year was by far the best (even though it wasn't zuskha). it was tight. and i didn't want to interrupt it. so, i didn't get The Shot. what i got was bathroom humor:

disgusting. immature. freakish. not the high brow i was expecting. i felt dirty afterwards. i hate myself now... i ate his chocolate.

28 comments:

Lil Bit said...

wow. what a damn story. and what PIX! weeeee! LOL fun.

Ristak said...

Nice..lol Happy HNT!

MomThatsNuts said...

lol very interesting~~

Happy HNT

Mom

Belly said...

Excellent story!
Was it a good chocolate?

Happy HNT!

lecram sinun said...

And I can attest to the fact that it's all true! I just sat back and didn't call the cops! cheers and happy hnt!

Tish said...

Great job! Happy HNT!

required said...

Very interesting...
Happy HNT!

addict said...

I love these!

Kalani said...

But what about the armadillo?

Happy HNT ;)

sCruuw said...

kewl! love the hnt!

bricotrout said...

all you need to do is get two buddies to dress the same way and take your act to vegas. blue man group makes millions, so can you

Lelly said...

'Bathroom humour' thats so coy! Toilet humour is the common term in Blighty...but the 'comics' its usually aimed at are clearly not a 'sophisticated' as your mates! VERY entertaining post!

cmhl said...

oh my----- great pictures!

jj said...

Thats great!! Happy HNT!!

Scott & Julia said...

LOL, great pics! Happy HNT!

Femi-mommy said...

lol great story - but wish i could've seen the intended shot. happy hnt

Wirthy said...

Happy Thursday, fellow HNT'er!

awaterpixie said...

Hilarious... um.. do you know where that bucket's been?

Happy HNT

*My_mothers_daughter* said...

LOL very nice Happy hnt

Spinning Girl said...

great HNT!

CheekyMoo said...

This was so fun to read!! Happy HNT!

scarysquirrelman said...

wow, folks. way more comments than i expected. so, i'll summarize my answers.
to LOL people: goddam right!
to "me like pictures" people: goddam right!
to femi-mommy: i know where the bucket had been and i ain't talking. goddam right!
to lelly: we were nowhere near the toilet, but adjacent to the urinal (which still has my grafitti on the sign above it from three years ago)....(wait for it)goddam right!
happy HNT all!

Blondie said...

All I can say is wow...

I don't think I've ever been to a show like that!

Happy HNT!

sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

I so wanna hang out w/ you guys when I come thru.

airplanejayne said...

My oh My!! Mister Pop-U-Lar!!!

aughra said...

Hee - that's great.

Happy HNT.

The DogGrrrrl said...

Hahaha. Great one. Happy belated.

The DogGrrrrl said...

There was a story?

Hmm, my verification word has xxx in it. It's gonna be a good weekend.