Sunday, July 17, 2005

R.I.P. Scary Squirrel Man's Heart

(well, that's it. i've died and gone to hell)

Breaking News: SANDRA BULLOCK MARRIES

Sandra Bullock married Monster Garage star Jesse James Saturday at a ranch north of Santa Barbara. Bullock and James started dating in December 2003. This is Bullock's first marriage and James' second. He has one son and two daughters from the previous marriages.

evidently, there is nothing sacred in this world anymore. so long as sandra remained single i knew my life would continue to have meaning. now that is to be no more. somewhere there is an Island of Lost Loves and i must begin preparations for the journey. if i blog never again you will know the reason why.
adieu, innocence.
fare thee well, dreams.
ciao, meaningful nocturnal emissions.
to sleep, perchance to wetdream...no more.

5 comments:

FreeThinker said...

Hey, these Hollywood marriages never last. Just hang loose for a bit ...

airplanejayne said...

Cheer up SSM!
I hate to see you so sad...
Reminds me how I felt when Brad (as in Pitt) married that Friends chick (I knew it wouldn't last!)

Just remember: you can always go to the store.

--and if you smile, I'm sure you could even get someone to give you a ride while you went to the store...

Chris said...

I felt the same way when Portia de Rossi hooked up with Ellen DeGeneres, only slightly worse because I realized I had even less of a chance with Portia than I ever knew.

Also, if you look at our sites together from a distance you couldn't tell them apart, I think.

scarysquirrelman said...

harumph. been to the store, been through the checkout line (self checkout this time)and they had her splashed across the front of the tabloids. hmmm...maybe "splashed" isn't such a good word to use in this context....

Mustang said...

Dude...

Lest we forget...

Mila Jovovich
Uma Thurman
Rene Russo

There is hope little squirrel..keep your nuts warm, think good thoughts, and hope for an early spring!!!