Scary Squirrel Man was NOT drunk last Saturday at the Daily Planet or at home. Some would have you believe otherwise, but rest assured: Scary Squirrel Man spent the evening tending his Sobriety Garden, reading his bible and blessing his new urinal. Anyone who says different is going to aytch eee doublehockeysticks.
And in that spirit, I present you with an article proclaiming the coming of a New World Order. One that is long awaited by Scary Squirrel Men everywhere. An order where the Faithful and the True Believers are rewarded for their arduous journey through the underbelly of our Secularist and Demonic Society. I talk about Theocracy. I talk about returning this country back to God and His Law. I speak not of a dictatorship, but of Divine Intervention to prevent further desecration of the Constitution, which was handed down to us just as the Tablets were handed down to Moses. I speak...oops, barfed on my shoes again. Must be the acorns.
"Shelby reintroduced the bill in March of this year when the Terri Schiavo case was in the headlines. His press secretary says the two events were unrelated, yet if anything like Shelby imagines comes to pass, it would turn our constitutional democracy into a theocracy. The legislation says no court has jurisdiction to rule on issues surrounding God, the flag, separation of church and state and establishment of religion. The wording is broad enough to remove from civil law all matters of personal status, like whom you can marry and issues related to child custody and child support. “We’re lulled into thinking it’s too ridiculous to pass,” says Judith Lichtman with the National Partnership for Women & Families. “But it’s the genius of the right to make what is really radical accepted in the mainstream.”