Wednesday, November 01, 2006

i'm tired of other people's problems. there, i said it.
i'm not talking about the life altering tragedies of a family member dying or a job lost at the hand of another or a disabling car crash or any of those things that make one recreate one's life from the ground up.
i'm tired of the pissant relationship problems. i'm sick of the manipulation i see happen every day between supposed friends. i recoil from the unhappiness in everyday life experienced by almost every goddam one of us that is then handed out like a laced halloween candy by those who can't seem to deal with the fact that life is not fair. never was, never will be. "fair" is not a word that exists side by side with "life".
"fair" is how one deals with others despite being unhappy. "fair" is choosing to keep your unhappiness with yourself to yourself.
"fair" is knowing when to reach out to another and ask for a shoulder to cry on and when to compose oneself and accept that life is not fair to anyone.
"fair" is knowing the difference between self-pity and actual pain.
"fair" is being able to tell the difference between real enmity for another's actions or words and self-projection based on a faulty interpretation.
too much lately i've found myself surrounded by petty injuries and swollen egos and i'm sick of it. get over yourselves, people. learn to live with your frailties.
learn to live with your insufficiencies.
learn to live with your imperfections.
or learn how to better yourselves without vilifying others for no better reason than you are unhappy.
take the time to hear what others are saying and stop living to hear yourselves speak.
take the time to think about the problem you face and ask yourself how much you had to do with creating it before blaming others.
stop looking for scapegoats. there seems to be this grand movement underway for the last oh-i-don't-know-how-long of everyone believing that they are perfect and no mistake is ever of their doing. entitlement is not a birthright.
so, stop looking for the bogeyman when life seems to suck. chances are you did most of the building on that structure.
bad things happen all of the time, just as good ones do. some are happenstance, but very few of them turn into full-fledged problems without handfeeding. the human experience is one of myriad opportunities that make no moral judgement. it is left up to us to decide how to proceed. and lately in my 'hood most of us seem to proceeding blindly with no pause to check the effect on others.
so, there it is. i'm tired of other people's problems. and you all seem to have a lot of them. you make me feel very normal and boring, which is a hell of a good thing. but it's bad as well when i can't get out a complete sentence without being overruled, overrun or cut off. it makes me want to turn you off. and that's no way to live.
think before you speak. we humans have an endless capacity for sympathy and compassion, but we have none when we realize it's pity that's being requested. or sides to be taken based on emotional opinion.
and i am done with it.


airplanejayne said...

I hear my Mom saying, "I never told you that life would be fair. But even an unfair life is better than the alternative: a fair death...."

words to live by....

RACHEL said...

hello there! i see your frustration with other and can relate as well. Venting can be very helpful. but then i am a woman and we are notorious for it!

Mustang said...

So....does this mean the tickle fight is off??


Mintzworks said...

AY-MEN, Brothah!

OOH, the anger I felt when the hyper-sensitive manager I was working with last Sunday FREAKED out over something she perceived was happening, before even seeing what actually happened. Then when I went to tell her, she threw her 45 year old hand in the air and said 'don't you DARE talk to me now!'

OOOO, I could not WAIT to go talk to her. She started right in on me until I shut her trap and said 'YOU LISTEN TO TWO SENTENCES, then you can yap all you want.'

she didn't care what the two sentences were, or how she was SO wrong. Yapyapyap she went on how she was SO mortally wounded about this something that never actually happened anywhere but in her mind.

So, brothah, I agree with you...but...

....then I remember what Victor Frankl said. The eminent psychologist, Frankl had spent years in a concentration camp, losing most of his family.

He was asked 'How can you listen to women complain about shopping or whatever, when you spent so much time in a concentration camp, seeing actual horrors!?!?'

Frankl replied; "pain is like gas in the death chamber. Even a little bit will eventually fill the entire chamber and kill you."

Negativity comes from within...

kowboi said...

sorry to hear how things are going with you . But if it helps i miss you ..

scarysquirrelman said...

apj: i'll take a fair death any day.
mustang: tickle fight is always on so ling as there's a little bit of smacking included.
mintz: negativity may come from within, but it is generally only seen from the outside.

airplanejayne said...

....and now I'm hearing Eddie Izzard:
"cake or death?"
death--err, I mean cake!
"you said death, first...."

how come I get death talk and Mustang gets a tickle and a smack!?!?!? Geez! It's just not fair!

Oops....I think that's where this whole thing started....

Mustang said...

I propose we settle this by tickling and smacking APJ until such time she is out of breath and pink-ish, and then turn our attention on whaterver bystander remains, innocent or not...hmmm?


airplanejayne said...

Sign found out in front of APj's ranchette:

"left for the store. Back later."