Let it be known that this weekend witnesses the advent of a new euphemism brought to us by the same people who provided the war in Iraq: asymmetrical warfare.
Catchy, isn't it? And stunning in its simplicity. Any prisoner of war who commits suicide while under arrest can be accused of attacking us by using this two-word phrase. Evidently, even though these "detainees" have not been convicted in our courts of even a misdemeanor, any person of Arab descent residing at Guantanamo Bay in cages under armed guard and video surveillance is engaging in enemy activity and possible war crimes by hanging himself in his cell. It must be a clever psy-op campaign designed to destroy American morale there and here by making the world believe (erroneously, of course) that our military (and, by extension, our current administration) cares not a whit about the welfare of those we keep locked up at great cost with no end in sight.
However, it seems to be only those successful in their suicide attempts who garner this assessment of their criminal enterprise, because no such acknowledgment was given to the previous 41 failed suicide attempts that have been documented.
Of course, it is widely known and accepted that all prisoners at GitMo are Al-Quaeda. Bill O'Reilly recently visited there as part of some odd investigative reporting stunt and, in a televised interview with FoxNews, referred repeatedly to the prisoners as "Al-Quaeda". Not "detainees", not "prisoners", not "humans". "Al-Quaeda" (or however we're spelling it these days).
That brings up the question, by the way, of just how many spelling variations we've had for this terrorist group. Do you think that could be one reason why we haven't been able to stamp it out? Because we can't stick with one variation? Can you imagine an intelligence operative reading intercepted emails or somesuch and discarding the info, because it was sent by "al-quaida"? Hmmm, nope, must be from some other bandwagon-jumping nutjob gang.
Hell, we can't even agree on how to pronounce Iraq. We have "eyerack", "eerock", "eerack", "eyerock". "SawDOM" and SAWdum". And we're 15 years past the first fight with this country and its leader. Then again, we Americans still claim we speak English, which any foreigner with a rudimentary understanding of the language can tell us with authority we do not. "Nuculear" comes to mind as an opening salvo.
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce "asymmetrical warfare" to y'all.