Monday, February 20, 2006

Skype, Skype Baby

"Skype, the Internet calling service recently acquired by eBay, provides free voice calls and instant messaging between users. Unlike other Internet voice services, Skype calls are encrypted — encoded using complex math operations. That apparently makes them impossible to snoop on, though the company leaves the issue somewhat open to question."

so, all of the code talk lecram and i use is for naught, huh? damn. zucchini is such a fun word to use. not that it meant anything. no, really. we truly do have a deep and abiding affection for long, green vegetables. shut up. can't take you guys anywhere.

well, taxes sure were fun tonight. turbotax was a bust. but taxact asked me lots of neat questions that garnered me many little deductions. i'll actually get a bit more back this year than last. my move was deductible two ways, which was way cool. not only what i spent, but the distance of the move. and i remembered renter's tax this time (always forgot that one before).

today was a cool enough day at work. i got to spend an hour or so at some condominiums being built right on the Puget Sound and watch the progress of the work. i was also told that i'm working too many hours, especially on the weekends and we have to find a way to curtail that. and i know more about asphalt according to my new bosses than i thought i did (in other words, they know very little about mix designs and lab work). i found out that i'm getting an $11,000 asphalt burning oven (burns the oil away from the aggregate). let's see, my calibration subcontractor is coming tomorrow to recalibrate all of my balances, ovens, vacuum pumps and compression machine (max load of 250,000 lbs on that sucker). and i will soon have carte blanche to charge for my extra hours on a time-and-a-half comp ratio for any work i do to move the old competitor's inventory out of his lab.
what i've noticed since my move up here (and i have to thank anonymous in part) is that in the 'No i had a job that was boring. i wasn't learning anything new. i was beyond good at what i did, but i was bored. on the other hand, i had a very rich personal life. i had friends i could trust and i had an acting life and a festival to sustain me. up here, it's the opposite. my personal life would be considered nil to most. i read, i type, i watch movies, i play with the cat, i watch the stars and the inclement weather, but i don't go out. my personal life has become very inward looking. but my job has exploded in terms of what i can learn. while i bitch about my bosses and whatnot, the job has many rewards. i am learning new things on a grand scale. i look forward to going in on the weekends for the sheer pleasure of being able to work alone. i look forward to the next challenge, because it's something i've not experienced for a while. i want to test for another certification as soon as the last one is over with. since i moved back to california and fell into the engineering industry i've not looked upon the job as just a job. it's fun, it's demanding and it almost always surprises.
big fish, little fish. big pond, little pond. those boundaries are not mine. i've never cared to be either. those are for people who define themselves by what surrounds them. not by who they are. all i want is the next challenge.
when i moved back to the 'No i was challenging myself (although i didn't really think of it that way. i just thought it was the logical thing to do). just coming back was a big question mark. was i conceding defeat in that perhaps my move to seattle was a bust? had i burned my bridges on purpose by blowing the whistle to the EPA about my company? it took me a long time to admit to friends i was back in the 'No. even got slapped by shookie.
in the long run, though, i figured out that seattle had not been the place to qualify as my own. in terms of acting it was filled to the gills with hungry. as for friends, the natives tended to be clannish and somewhat xenophobic (and not without reason). i never felt that i fit in as me. but in thinking about coming back to the 'No i wondered if i would be able to fit back in. actually, i wondered if i would be able to fit in for the first time. i never had felt that before i left.
but friends like lecram and nbutlerdidit and jade ed gypsy and zonthar and RP made me feel like the prodigal son must have. welcomed back into the fold as if i'd never left. used and manipulated to be sure, but welcomed and loved nonetheless.
the rogue was a godsend. it was the ultimate challenge. an undertaking of unparalleled proportions. none of us had the expertise, the experience, the maturity to handle anything of this sort. it was a one-off and we didn't know if we'd fall flat on our faces or not. and we had no inkling that it would go beyond one year. i remember the first night. the first shows were set to begin in an hour and no one had bought a ticket yet. it had been raining slightly and we were downtown. some of us were already shaking our heads. it was a wonderful idea and effort. the acts involved didn't expect crowds. in a sense, we had nothing to lose. except our pride. and other peoples' egos.
and then the patrons showed up. it was such a rush and a scare. and we knew we had something. by closing night when we had an audience of almost 200 for the last show we knew. and we knew the next year was going to be even worse. but after each year, the sense of exultation was enormous. the last night party was electric for me. we'd done it. year after year.
unfortunately for me i stopped having fun last year. i'd been in for the first four years and was looking the fifth in its face. i had decided to stop acting while i was the venue manager, because i found myself dropping lines on stage. why? because i couldn't be an actor and a manager at the same time. and i needed to be a manager first, because this was my baby. and i'm on stage skipping whole pages. so, there i was getting ready to be just a manager. not fun. and giving up acting with people like zonthar who makes me laugh more than metamucil on a stick.
but so be it. i had stopped enjoying the anarchy of it. i wasn't seeing the organized chaos of it anymore. i had become walmart.
so, when i was offered a chance to push my job possibilities to a new level in washington i jumped. a new challenge. and this time i know that if i don't like it (or it just doesn't work out) i have friends who i will never lose again.
and, yes, there probably is a therapist reading this and thinking "motherfucker! there goes my kid's retirement fund!".
by the way, did you know this is the only "nudie" picture i have ever been able to find of sandra bullock?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the last sentence you have given me a sense of purpose. Google images...HERE I COME.

scarysquirrelman said...

you know you like me. you can't live without me. you want to kiss me and marry me.

Zonthar said...

Aw SSM, thanks- you make me laugh more than a ferrett with a hand grenade.

Mustang said...

Sumbitch...

I actually read the whole thing...come back little Sheba..I will find you meat curtins of your very own...

M