Thanks for the nice words everybody. It seems that I did my grieving when Gramma first collapsed and it was expected that she wouldn't last even as long as she did. Fortunately, she had a chance to regain her senses for a bit and my Aunt Ann had some time in which to talk with her before Gramma faded away.
But enough of that. I think Gramma will forgive me for moving on with my blogging.
Have you heard of these idiots? Evidently, protesting the war isn't enough. These "people" seem to think that protesting at the funerals of slain soldiers is proper etiquette, because (as they put it) the soldiers are fighting for a country that condones homosexuality. I've been aware of this for about a month now. Finally, a governor has passed a law that prevents them from coming any closer than 500 feet of a cemetary funeral. There is also a group of biker vets who station themselves between these freaks and the funeral services in order to deter these slimeballs. Sheesh. Why is it that the radical fundies can't just stay and pull the blinds? Or simply refuse to do business with anyone they don't approve of? Like the crapola headline making over Terri Schiavo and her husband's bid to let her die in peace. Which doctors eventually proved was the right choice once they'd done an autopsy and found that most of her brain was oatmeal. Just like they had said it was all along. Note to self: write note to self about how no one is allowed to circumvent or change personal decisions about how I want to be allowed to die if I ever get to the point that I cannot live without artificial means. But where was I? Oh yes: the morons. God is killing these soldiers, huh? Says who? And why'd God wait so long? There have been Gays in this country since it was founded by our bible-thumping Caucasian ancestors, um, (counting on fingers and toes) a really, really long time ago. Was God saving it all up for one big blow-out KMart special massacre? Or does really care so long as you believe and follow? I wouldn't know. Why do they?
I think we should learn a lesson from some of this. Maybe not all, but definately from the fact that a People can make a difference if it speaks with one voice. While no one People is ever truly without factions and their dissonent demands, great things can happen when communication and cooperation are achieved. Nepal may not stand as is, most likely it won't, but for a moment they can celebrate and bask in the joy of knowing that a loud enough voice can make the mighty quake.
He tried to avoid war with Iraq "diplomatically to the max". Wha...??? And if he had it to do over again, he would. And the Almighty guides his hand in foreign policy. This is the man who helms our ship. This man is a prime example of why some captains were forced to walk the plank. Were he Odysseus he wouldn't have made it past the Sirens. I take that back, he would never have made it past the farewell feast. A forest of arrows would have perforated his heart halfway through his speech. To the max. Jeez, no one even says that anymore. How out of touch can one person be? Not only on the realities of war, foreign policy and running a country, but on street lingo. Is this guy's brain stuck in a formaldahyde jar in some dusty old frat house? Does he think that using the phrase "to the max" makes him sound hip? Or is that the extent of his vocababerry? My goodness. I can't wait to see the presidential library that is created for his notes. It'll make Zoolander's School For Kids Who Can't Read Good seem like the Taj Mahal of literacy.
Former National Security Advisor Zibiga-, Znibre-, Zanibr-, um, let's just call him Chipoodle, warns against attacking Iran without some sort of legal reason and without the consent of Congress. He actually--gasp!-says such an attack would be worthy of impeachment. However, Donald the Duck Rumsfeld is now claiming that attacking Afghanistan and Iraq was part of a larger strategy aimed at curbing Iran's "extreme impulses". Really? Hmmm, don't remember that as a justification during the runup to either one. I remember mushroom cloud, WMDs, links to al-quaeda and 9/11, Valerie Plame, male prostitute posing as a White house reporter, porn actress invited by the White House to a Bush fundraiser, secret detention camps, torture, wiretapping, paying off the Press, "you're either with us or against us", two "stolen" elections, massive surpluses turned into even more massive deficits, tax cuts for the obscenely wealthy, record high gas prices. But no Iran. Now, it's Iran. Go figure. This is not to say that Iran wouldn't love to flop a nuke in Israel's or our direction given the chance. But I doubt they would do it for the same reason we haven't done it. Bad PR. Very bad. Plus, they throw one at us, we throw 50 back. It would be a one shot deal for them and any other country within a 25,000 mile cicumference. Which is roughly the size of, oh say, the Earth. As an example. Hypothetically speaking, of course, because there is no way to judge the size of the Earth since it is flat and the center of the Universe. According to NASA's new leader. And Ann Coulter. And Rush Limbaugh. And Sean Hannity. And Bill O'Reilly. And whoever is in charge of the EPA this month. And God according to those who obviously know. And the idiots who want to protest at funerals.
Which brings us full circle (unlike the flat Earth). And it is time for me to stop and get back to Blade II. Man, do I love this movie series. Completely gross, uber-violent and good kinky fun. Plus, it's all true.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Rest In Peace, Gramma
Gramma died yesterday. At 2:15 or 2:20 PM, depending on whose email I want to believe. It's a relief to all of the family, because she no longer recognized anyone and couldn't communicate. She, also, had requested some time ago that, should this situation arise, no feeding tube or "heroic efforts" be administered. So, she seems to have passed peacefully. She was 102 years old.
I think , no, I believe that this will help my family to come back together somewhat. Gramma was very popular with everyone, because she made no bones about unconditional love. She practiced it always. A pat on the hand, a hug for no reason other than a hug sounded like a good idea, a place on the couch to sit next to her, constant interest in what was happening in our lives, simple gifts to simply make us smile.
She came from the old school of matriarchs. Her childhood was one of poverty on a farm, scraping by to make ends meet. I've written about the quilt she gave me two years ago. It was made by her mother entirely from scraps of wornout clothing that the family owned. A Mid-Westerner to the core, she knew how to can preserves and preserve cans. She read her Bible diligently and always found something of interest in the passages she must certainly have memorized. She taught me the love of good raspberry jam. She was scrappy and cantankerous, two traits she passed on to her daughter and then to me.
She was a teacher. She was a homemaker. A mother. A wife. A friend. A disciplinarian. And she was a Lady, always and foremost. Manners were paramount, language proper. Dinner was dinner, supper was supper. A little snack in the afternoon was just biding time.
My strongest memory will remain those mornings when she and granddad visited during the summers and stayed in the guest room. I would run out and have breakfast with them, because she would smother raspberry jam on my toast and they would read from the Good News Bible while I looked at the stick figure pictures.
I will also always remember my summer visit to their house in Prairie Du Sac in Wisconsin. Their house was on the river and we would float on innertubes waiting for a boat to go by and create swells. There was a tree swing we played on, but you had to watch out for the concrete barrier where land met water. And there was a very unfriendly goose that would chase you and bite you if you came too close to it...which we did often (maybe more often that coincidence would warrant). I remember my granddad and I digging for grubs to bait hooks with and the painful feeling of being pinched by one. Nasty little buggers.
And I will remember my Gramma sleeping on the overstuffed chair at Beatty's Books in Seattle and the Beattys taking care to ensure that her nap would not be interrupted while my Mom went crazy wandering their store and looking through their entire huge collection of used books.
And her comment that day, "Your mother and her 'organized' outings...".
My Gramma was 102 years old. Her ashes will be buried next to Granddad's and they will be together again forever. And my Granddad is probably saying, "About darned time...what took you so long?".
Being a Lady, she may just reply, "Oh, shove over and bust out the jam".
April 23, 2006.
I think , no, I believe that this will help my family to come back together somewhat. Gramma was very popular with everyone, because she made no bones about unconditional love. She practiced it always. A pat on the hand, a hug for no reason other than a hug sounded like a good idea, a place on the couch to sit next to her, constant interest in what was happening in our lives, simple gifts to simply make us smile.
She came from the old school of matriarchs. Her childhood was one of poverty on a farm, scraping by to make ends meet. I've written about the quilt she gave me two years ago. It was made by her mother entirely from scraps of wornout clothing that the family owned. A Mid-Westerner to the core, she knew how to can preserves and preserve cans. She read her Bible diligently and always found something of interest in the passages she must certainly have memorized. She taught me the love of good raspberry jam. She was scrappy and cantankerous, two traits she passed on to her daughter and then to me.
She was a teacher. She was a homemaker. A mother. A wife. A friend. A disciplinarian. And she was a Lady, always and foremost. Manners were paramount, language proper. Dinner was dinner, supper was supper. A little snack in the afternoon was just biding time.
My strongest memory will remain those mornings when she and granddad visited during the summers and stayed in the guest room. I would run out and have breakfast with them, because she would smother raspberry jam on my toast and they would read from the Good News Bible while I looked at the stick figure pictures.
I will also always remember my summer visit to their house in Prairie Du Sac in Wisconsin. Their house was on the river and we would float on innertubes waiting for a boat to go by and create swells. There was a tree swing we played on, but you had to watch out for the concrete barrier where land met water. And there was a very unfriendly goose that would chase you and bite you if you came too close to it...which we did often (maybe more often that coincidence would warrant). I remember my granddad and I digging for grubs to bait hooks with and the painful feeling of being pinched by one. Nasty little buggers.
And I will remember my Gramma sleeping on the overstuffed chair at Beatty's Books in Seattle and the Beattys taking care to ensure that her nap would not be interrupted while my Mom went crazy wandering their store and looking through their entire huge collection of used books.
And her comment that day, "Your mother and her 'organized' outings...".
My Gramma was 102 years old. Her ashes will be buried next to Granddad's and they will be together again forever. And my Granddad is probably saying, "About darned time...what took you so long?".
Being a Lady, she may just reply, "Oh, shove over and bust out the jam".
April 23, 2006.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Thank You For Not Speaking
Christopher Hitchens penned the now uber-popular Thank You For Smoking movie (and I don't even know if it's come out yet). Chris is not a personal friend of mine and for good reason. Back in '92 when I was but a young pup living in Seattle, he walked into a regular beer stop of mine at First and Stewart. This stop was home to a good number of pensioners who lived above the stop. It was became home to a good number of Hollywood types who knew this stop from previous movie shoots. On Sundays I would wander down and settle in with the New York Times Sunday Crossword and a handful of pints of stout. I would normally spend three or four hours there puzzling and drinking. During the week I might stop by the stop for one or two. Like I said, occasionally a "celebrity" there. Which was actually damn annoying (with the exception of Jeff Bridges) to someone like me who "wants to be left alone" but still "wants to gawk like a gopher". I was warned away from even making eye contact in the bar's very long mirror with Sean Penn. He was at the end when I walked in, sitting at the bar with a stout in front of him and staring off into space. I winked at the bartender and, when she came over, I ordered my first pint and asked her if he was who I thought he was. She didn't even respond vocally, just shook her head and warned me with her eyes. 'nuff said. I left him alone and did my crossword.
So, what is it about the term "crossword"? The good ones only intelligent people finish. And when I say intelligent I mean snob. Many of us work the puzzle in order to challenge our braincells over in the English department. A few of us finish them. A few of us finish them in no time at all. The fastest I've finished a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle is 1 hour, 47 minutes. It's, also, the only time I've finished a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle without help from the other crosswordflies. Another good pub where I could find my type of drinker was near 65th and Third. A block up from Slave To The Needle (where I had my photos fleshed). Now, that was a bunch of convivial cheaters. No one would help another if there was the chance of not finishing first. Eventually, though, stubborness would give way to desperation and answers would be paid for with beer. Mind you, this was Sunday and during the lull from 12:00 PM and 4:00 PM.
But I was talking about Chris Hutchins and the Virginia Inn. And how I stood there with my date (the bartender...man, was she hot and aggressive) talking to Kiefer Sutherland about his almost dad who lived upstairs. Kiefer didn't know this and was surprised. Hell, so was I. When Bridges was asked by his table full of buds and "dates" where Kiefer was, he replied "Probably getting rolled in some alley by now". I saw Kiefer with a bottle of Tums sticking out of his denim jacket breast pocket at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon, looking very disheveled. I was impressed. I knew right then that I liked him no matter who he had slept with and I never would. Julia Roberts, for crying out loud. Winona Ryder, for Pete's sake. So far as I knew, no Sandra Bullock. That is why he lives to this day. I'd go after Jesse James, but did you know the fucker has a posse? And they rob banks and shit? Hell, I'd do him for a piece of that action. And his car kicks the absolute crankoil out of mine? Like the baboon bachelor male, I wait my time to infiltrate and subvert. In the meantime I nosh on the perfectly shaped banana. Hi, APJ.
Right. So, Christopher walks in and asks for a table by the window. no one is sitting at either of the window tables. He also asks that no one smoke while he's there. If a clearer sign could be given to light up I wouldn't know what it is. So, we all smoked. There were a couple of people who didn't smoke, but lit up for that one. Hutchins took it with good grace and lit up himself. The immolation was already underway, though. So, we made fun of the waitress instead. We got many anecdotes dropped by Chris himself. Most were selfcongratulatory. Most were funny.
And, so, when his one book that I thought was funny, comes out as a movie I wonder if the film industry can do it justice. I hope so.
By the way, I never once saw Cameron Crowe hanging out in or snooping on the Virginia Inn. And I was a regular there during part of that time. I remember when they shot a scene or two there. And I remember when it became a no-smoking fern bar in the aftermath of the movie's success and the pensioners no longer went there to while away the hours. Pity.
So, what is it about the term "crossword"? The good ones only intelligent people finish. And when I say intelligent I mean snob. Many of us work the puzzle in order to challenge our braincells over in the English department. A few of us finish them. A few of us finish them in no time at all. The fastest I've finished a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle is 1 hour, 47 minutes. It's, also, the only time I've finished a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle without help from the other crosswordflies. Another good pub where I could find my type of drinker was near 65th and Third. A block up from Slave To The Needle (where I had my photos fleshed). Now, that was a bunch of convivial cheaters. No one would help another if there was the chance of not finishing first. Eventually, though, stubborness would give way to desperation and answers would be paid for with beer. Mind you, this was Sunday and during the lull from 12:00 PM and 4:00 PM.
But I was talking about Chris Hutchins and the Virginia Inn. And how I stood there with my date (the bartender...man, was she hot and aggressive) talking to Kiefer Sutherland about his almost dad who lived upstairs. Kiefer didn't know this and was surprised. Hell, so was I. When Bridges was asked by his table full of buds and "dates" where Kiefer was, he replied "Probably getting rolled in some alley by now". I saw Kiefer with a bottle of Tums sticking out of his denim jacket breast pocket at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon, looking very disheveled. I was impressed. I knew right then that I liked him no matter who he had slept with and I never would. Julia Roberts, for crying out loud. Winona Ryder, for Pete's sake. So far as I knew, no Sandra Bullock. That is why he lives to this day. I'd go after Jesse James, but did you know the fucker has a posse? And they rob banks and shit? Hell, I'd do him for a piece of that action. And his car kicks the absolute crankoil out of mine? Like the baboon bachelor male, I wait my time to infiltrate and subvert. In the meantime I nosh on the perfectly shaped banana. Hi, APJ.
Right. So, Christopher walks in and asks for a table by the window. no one is sitting at either of the window tables. He also asks that no one smoke while he's there. If a clearer sign could be given to light up I wouldn't know what it is. So, we all smoked. There were a couple of people who didn't smoke, but lit up for that one. Hutchins took it with good grace and lit up himself. The immolation was already underway, though. So, we made fun of the waitress instead. We got many anecdotes dropped by Chris himself. Most were selfcongratulatory. Most were funny.
And, so, when his one book that I thought was funny, comes out as a movie I wonder if the film industry can do it justice. I hope so.
By the way, I never once saw Cameron Crowe hanging out in or snooping on the Virginia Inn. And I was a regular there during part of that time. I remember when they shot a scene or two there. And I remember when it became a no-smoking fern bar in the aftermath of the movie's success and the pensioners no longer went there to while away the hours. Pity.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Pop Quiz: Who's Your Daddy?
Leo Dicaprio was hurt today. Unlike in previous years when he was snubbed for "much deserved" Oscar notice, this incident appears to be physical in nature. Or so they are saying. While the official version from his publicist is that he was injured while running, anonymous reports are surfacing that he has begun having Red Carpet flashbacks and, during these siezures, lashing out at any critic who failed to mention him as a darkhorse for "The Island". Roger Ebert is rumored to have immediately hired a phalanx of bodyguards in the event that Dicaprio's new movie does anything more than make young girls moist. No word yet on whether Dicaprio's new movie "Blood Diamond" is about illegal gem dealing in Africa or an autobiography on his attempts to rectally turn a lump of coal into a diamond.
Kirk Cameron, that former hottie teen movie and tv star, has astounding proof that Darwinism is a crock of gorilla poo poo. Using a banana, no less, to prove his point about its perfect shape for entering the mouth, he debunks every scientist ever born. You gotta watch it. It'll change your life. I know it changed mine. But make sure to fast forward the clip to about the 3:30 mark. Otherwise, you'll be sending someone money as fast as you can write the check. (hat tip to Crooks and Liars for this one).
P.S. I am waiting with bated breath for his next installment using a very friendly python and a traffic cone to prove just exactly how Eve brought about the downfall of the Garden of Eden.
My Name Is Rachel Corrie is being read publicly at an undisclosed location in Canada. This is the play that was censored in New York as being insensitive to Jews in a time of turmoil. it's a simple premise. Young woman goes to Palestine, tries to stand in the way of an Israeli bulldozer intent on destroying a palestinian family's home and is crushed to death by the 'dozer driver. The fact that this reading has to be kept a secret says a lot. Does it matter that the driver claims he couldn't see her? Does it matter that she was wearing a bright safety vest and there were dozens of other protesters present? Does it matter that the Israeli police tried to censor all news interviews with the driver? Or does it just matter that protection of one side outweighs protection of another? Or does it simply not matter at all? By most accounts the play as written is not so interesting. It relies mainly on diaries and notes written by this young lady who, were she not so damn photogenic, might not have even made historical footnote status. But the fact that this reading is being kept so secret and attendance is invite only says something about the extreme polarity which continues to exist between those who support Israel no matter the cost or level of justification and those who support the Palestinians with the same caveats.
So, someone remind me again why our Glorious Leader isn't threatening to invade and fix Nepal? Pro-Democracy protesters, a monarchy, violent crackdowns on demonstrations and marches...oh wait a minute. Isn't Nepal like 40 miles away from China? And its sovereignty is like disputed by China? And that Chinese guy Hu (who?) is actually here in the good ol' US of A on a goodwill tour? And we're like really scared of China's burgeoning influence globally? And the fact that it seems to own more of our country than we do? And it can single-handedly change the global currency from the dollar to the euro? In fact, aren't we so scared that we had a Chinese journalist jailed for speaking out at a Rose Garden press conference just the other day at the same time that Bush was promoting free speech in China? And we had a CNN reporter removed from a photo-op for asking one question?
Coca-Cola is being targeted in India for "hoarding water". More specifically, it is being accused of depleting needed water supplies as it churns out its tasty beverage. Communities living near its bottling factories are increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that water supply levels have been dropping drastically since Coke's factories moved into their neighborhoods. And the drought season is about to hit. Now, we all know that sodas do not slake thirst. After all, their main ingredient is sugar. And sugar dehydrates. As does caffeine. So, Coke's new mantra "Let Them Drink Coke And Shut The Fuck Up" seems to be less than ingenuous. What I do love about this company is that long after cocaine's classification as a Level 1 controlled substance, the company still touts it as part of its masthead. Ah, good times. Like Robitussin when it contained morphine. And actually worked to relieve symptoms of pain. Bring back Laudanum, I say. One question, though. Is Pepsi so much more oriented to the needs of the world than Coke? I hear nothing about Pepsi-Co's involvement in anything nefarious. Is it really just Coke or is Coke simply the most obvious jugular?
Gerald Ford's still alive?!? What the fu--? And he's defending Rumsfeld? And he claims we're "at a time of war"? Cool. The Stumbler's back. Ford did more for pratfalls and Vaudeville comedy than any other president in history. Jack Tripper would never have been given the mighty laughter he got were it not for Ford. Neither would Andy Dick's character in NewsRadio. A president prone to slips, slops, mishaps, missteps and imaginary escalators is a president to be cherished.
Seriously, what the fu--?!? Some people just need to know when to "go gently into that good night". All Ford will do by piping up is bolster the legitimate claims that the Rethuglican party is trotting out every fossil it can find in order to maintain some semblance of smokescreen behind which it can hide while it attempts to reassemble its strike team before the November elections. Starting with Karl Rove gatting back to what he does best: dirty smear campaigns. Looking forward to it, myself.
You, too, can sign a petition to stop the government from okaying research into deploying "killer fungi" as a weapon. Or not.
Katherine Harris, who I happen to have a trading card of, seems to not have the best filtering process when it comes to who she sleeps with. Not that my history shows the best judgement, either. Man, I remember the time I was whacked out on Coke (the other one) and had sex with some barfly in the cab of my truck in between games of pool. It was a tournament, $5 entry and the winner walked away with $200. 5 rounds and I was out in the fourth. My backscratch and spin were were on fire that night, but so was the powder. She was, um, not Sandra Bullock. She was not even Lynn Cheney. And defumigatedly not Ann Coulter. She was, however, drunk and loose. And 20 years older. So, anyway, here we have Katherine Harris accepting insider trader head for something she may or may have not done. I ask you, what's the difference? These K Street traders pay for anything you could ever ask for. Do you think for one moment that the politician is going to take it all and then say no? I call Bovine Bowel Movement on that.
60 Minutes tomorrow night. Check it out. Another former CIA high ranker has his say. And this time it gets nasty.
"They were given the intel that no weapons of mass destruction existed. And they said, we don't care anymore. It's about regime change".
'Nuff for now. I'm on Skype until I fall over. It's 1:34 PM.
Kirk Cameron, that former hottie teen movie and tv star, has astounding proof that Darwinism is a crock of gorilla poo poo. Using a banana, no less, to prove his point about its perfect shape for entering the mouth, he debunks every scientist ever born. You gotta watch it. It'll change your life. I know it changed mine. But make sure to fast forward the clip to about the 3:30 mark. Otherwise, you'll be sending someone money as fast as you can write the check. (hat tip to Crooks and Liars for this one).
P.S. I am waiting with bated breath for his next installment using a very friendly python and a traffic cone to prove just exactly how Eve brought about the downfall of the Garden of Eden.
My Name Is Rachel Corrie is being read publicly at an undisclosed location in Canada. This is the play that was censored in New York as being insensitive to Jews in a time of turmoil. it's a simple premise. Young woman goes to Palestine, tries to stand in the way of an Israeli bulldozer intent on destroying a palestinian family's home and is crushed to death by the 'dozer driver. The fact that this reading has to be kept a secret says a lot. Does it matter that the driver claims he couldn't see her? Does it matter that she was wearing a bright safety vest and there were dozens of other protesters present? Does it matter that the Israeli police tried to censor all news interviews with the driver? Or does it just matter that protection of one side outweighs protection of another? Or does it simply not matter at all? By most accounts the play as written is not so interesting. It relies mainly on diaries and notes written by this young lady who, were she not so damn photogenic, might not have even made historical footnote status. But the fact that this reading is being kept so secret and attendance is invite only says something about the extreme polarity which continues to exist between those who support Israel no matter the cost or level of justification and those who support the Palestinians with the same caveats.
So, someone remind me again why our Glorious Leader isn't threatening to invade and fix Nepal? Pro-Democracy protesters, a monarchy, violent crackdowns on demonstrations and marches...oh wait a minute. Isn't Nepal like 40 miles away from China? And its sovereignty is like disputed by China? And that Chinese guy Hu (who?) is actually here in the good ol' US of A on a goodwill tour? And we're like really scared of China's burgeoning influence globally? And the fact that it seems to own more of our country than we do? And it can single-handedly change the global currency from the dollar to the euro? In fact, aren't we so scared that we had a Chinese journalist jailed for speaking out at a Rose Garden press conference just the other day at the same time that Bush was promoting free speech in China? And we had a CNN reporter removed from a photo-op for asking one question?
Coca-Cola is being targeted in India for "hoarding water". More specifically, it is being accused of depleting needed water supplies as it churns out its tasty beverage. Communities living near its bottling factories are increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that water supply levels have been dropping drastically since Coke's factories moved into their neighborhoods. And the drought season is about to hit. Now, we all know that sodas do not slake thirst. After all, their main ingredient is sugar. And sugar dehydrates. As does caffeine. So, Coke's new mantra "Let Them Drink Coke And Shut The Fuck Up" seems to be less than ingenuous. What I do love about this company is that long after cocaine's classification as a Level 1 controlled substance, the company still touts it as part of its masthead. Ah, good times. Like Robitussin when it contained morphine. And actually worked to relieve symptoms of pain. Bring back Laudanum, I say. One question, though. Is Pepsi so much more oriented to the needs of the world than Coke? I hear nothing about Pepsi-Co's involvement in anything nefarious. Is it really just Coke or is Coke simply the most obvious jugular?
Gerald Ford's still alive?!? What the fu--? And he's defending Rumsfeld? And he claims we're "at a time of war"? Cool. The Stumbler's back. Ford did more for pratfalls and Vaudeville comedy than any other president in history. Jack Tripper would never have been given the mighty laughter he got were it not for Ford. Neither would Andy Dick's character in NewsRadio. A president prone to slips, slops, mishaps, missteps and imaginary escalators is a president to be cherished.
Seriously, what the fu--?!? Some people just need to know when to "go gently into that good night". All Ford will do by piping up is bolster the legitimate claims that the Rethuglican party is trotting out every fossil it can find in order to maintain some semblance of smokescreen behind which it can hide while it attempts to reassemble its strike team before the November elections. Starting with Karl Rove gatting back to what he does best: dirty smear campaigns. Looking forward to it, myself.
You, too, can sign a petition to stop the government from okaying research into deploying "killer fungi" as a weapon. Or not.
Katherine Harris, who I happen to have a trading card of, seems to not have the best filtering process when it comes to who she sleeps with. Not that my history shows the best judgement, either. Man, I remember the time I was whacked out on Coke (the other one) and had sex with some barfly in the cab of my truck in between games of pool. It was a tournament, $5 entry and the winner walked away with $200. 5 rounds and I was out in the fourth. My backscratch and spin were were on fire that night, but so was the powder. She was, um, not Sandra Bullock. She was not even Lynn Cheney. And defumigatedly not Ann Coulter. She was, however, drunk and loose. And 20 years older. So, anyway, here we have Katherine Harris accepting insider trader head for something she may or may have not done. I ask you, what's the difference? These K Street traders pay for anything you could ever ask for. Do you think for one moment that the politician is going to take it all and then say no? I call Bovine Bowel Movement on that.
60 Minutes tomorrow night. Check it out. Another former CIA high ranker has his say. And this time it gets nasty.
"They were given the intel that no weapons of mass destruction existed. And they said, we don't care anymore. It's about regime change".
'Nuff for now. I'm on Skype until I fall over. It's 1:34 PM.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Spankin' 101. Sweet. Smack.
Cool. The Minutemen have come up with a "do-it-yourself" defense perimeter. Unfortunately, they want to place the fences in a somewhat straight line instead of a circle or square. Because it's my opinion that the most dangerous people out there along the Rio border are the ones who think Mexicans should be stopped from coming over. Perhaps, they should study the Davidian blueprints instead. You know: enclose, encapsulate, incinerate. Xenophobia is such a nasty and diabolical disease that all who suffer from it should be quarantined for at least, oh, the rest of their lives. Not that I suffer from xenophobic xenophobia or anything, but--eww!--them people are kinda icky and I bet they smell funny and talk with an accent and wear weird headgear and worship a vengeful God and I don't think I would want my daughter to date one.
By "disciplined" do they mean "spanked"? Couldn't this qualify as faculty-sponsored, pre-doctoral group study session sports-related activity? Probably not, huh? Oh well. So much for enlightened edumacation. This is exactly why I did my studying at the Bucket (RIP) and nowhere near a supposedly sanctioned spot like the library or classroom. Demagogic repression of free expression with no session for sane suggestion.
Ha. Whoo hoo. Effin' A. Woof. Who's your daddy? Ooh, smack. Rove is being "redesignated" for assignment. In baseball, that means "thanks for all your hard work. Enjoy Triple A. Carry your own bags, bitch". So, Rove is now going to condescendtrate on helping Repubelicans keep their seats or maybe even win one they don't already own. Is it that bad in the Oval Office that Bush has to jettison the guy who got him where he is today? Is it that bad for the party that Rove has to go on the campaign trail for a bunch of sycophants who would actually rather not have to need him? Sort of like Cheney doing the dance for his party and no one seems that thrilled about it. Dick just came to Washington and almost no protestors showed up, because it was like, you know, yawn. Of course, Dick has a ways to go yet before he is indicted by Fitzgerald for crimes against the State. One rung at a time. One sanctioned torture at a time. Do you think Cheney's just not a baby toucher? As a matter of fact, when's the last time you ever saw a politician hold a baby like the old stereotype demands they should do?
Wasn't there a muppet or something named Grover? Did he have friends who did something like this:
Of course, Norquist took his own cut—“I need to give Grover something for helping, so the first transfer will be a bit lighter,” Abramoff wrote in an email to Reed. Displaying a characteristic shamelessness, Norquist recently filed a trademark application on the phrase “K Street Project.” Just curious. I mean, an email like that that doesn't make the mainstream news for us to digest with our bagel and special K Street Koffee must not be that important to anyone but a muppethead. Again, just curious.
Well, I'll sign off for now. It's Half Nekkid Thursday after all. And naughty pictures must be perused. You can go to Lecram's site to find out what HNT is all about. As for me, I've got Skype turned on and the third season of NewsRadio waiting for me. What a phenomenol (hey, that sounds like a great name for a date drug) cast. Plus, the hydrocodone is kicking in finally. After 5 beers. Jaw joint pain. Minor loss of hearing. Ringing in the ear. Either bad allergies, hypertension, TMJ or the Big C. As in Curmudgeon. Doesn't get better, I'm going in for Amoxycillin and good pain killers ("oh, doc. It hurts to chew. And it hurts to swallow. And it hurts to work. I mean, walk. What's that? Oh yeah, and it hurts to hear. And my bursitis, ohmigodthefreakinpain").
Ciao, you dirty little commies.
By "disciplined" do they mean "spanked"? Couldn't this qualify as faculty-sponsored, pre-doctoral group study session sports-related activity? Probably not, huh? Oh well. So much for enlightened edumacation. This is exactly why I did my studying at the Bucket (RIP) and nowhere near a supposedly sanctioned spot like the library or classroom. Demagogic repression of free expression with no session for sane suggestion.
Ha. Whoo hoo. Effin' A. Woof. Who's your daddy? Ooh, smack. Rove is being "redesignated" for assignment. In baseball, that means "thanks for all your hard work. Enjoy Triple A. Carry your own bags, bitch". So, Rove is now going to condescendtrate on helping Repubelicans keep their seats or maybe even win one they don't already own. Is it that bad in the Oval Office that Bush has to jettison the guy who got him where he is today? Is it that bad for the party that Rove has to go on the campaign trail for a bunch of sycophants who would actually rather not have to need him? Sort of like Cheney doing the dance for his party and no one seems that thrilled about it. Dick just came to Washington and almost no protestors showed up, because it was like, you know, yawn. Of course, Dick has a ways to go yet before he is indicted by Fitzgerald for crimes against the State. One rung at a time. One sanctioned torture at a time. Do you think Cheney's just not a baby toucher? As a matter of fact, when's the last time you ever saw a politician hold a baby like the old stereotype demands they should do?
Wasn't there a muppet or something named Grover? Did he have friends who did something like this:
Of course, Norquist took his own cut—“I need to give Grover something for helping, so the first transfer will be a bit lighter,” Abramoff wrote in an email to Reed. Displaying a characteristic shamelessness, Norquist recently filed a trademark application on the phrase “K Street Project.” Just curious. I mean, an email like that that doesn't make the mainstream news for us to digest with our bagel and special K Street Koffee must not be that important to anyone but a muppethead. Again, just curious.
Well, I'll sign off for now. It's Half Nekkid Thursday after all. And naughty pictures must be perused. You can go to Lecram's site to find out what HNT is all about. As for me, I've got Skype turned on and the third season of NewsRadio waiting for me. What a phenomenol (hey, that sounds like a great name for a date drug) cast. Plus, the hydrocodone is kicking in finally. After 5 beers. Jaw joint pain. Minor loss of hearing. Ringing in the ear. Either bad allergies, hypertension, TMJ or the Big C. As in Curmudgeon. Doesn't get better, I'm going in for Amoxycillin and good pain killers ("oh, doc. It hurts to chew. And it hurts to swallow. And it hurts to work. I mean, walk. What's that? Oh yeah, and it hurts to hear. And my bursitis, ohmigodthefreakinpain").
Ciao, you dirty little commies.
T Minus 27
So sorry, folks. Had to reinstall the word verification for a while. There's a certain spammer out there in the woodpile. No, not you Zonthar.
Well, it looks as if the tension at work is not going to lessen anytime soon. At yesterday's staff meeting the boss repeated something I had said to him about two or three weeks ago in a closed-door meeting and then promptly named me as the source. What I had told him when asked what I thought about the wrokplace was that I felt that the entire atmosphere around the office was very angry and hostile (not to me personally, but in general). When he asked what I thought might be the cause of it I told him that I thought he had a lot to do with it, because of his tendency to fly off the handle and chew people out before getting the facts straight. So, he dutifully trotted it out yesterday (of course, leaving out the part where I mentioned his involvement) and outed me. It was almost funny, because he rattled this off, but conveniently couldn't remember how I had phrased it and actually paused without looking at me and waited for me to fill it in. After 10 seconds of silence I spoke up and refreshed his memory. At that point, though, I made sure everyone in the room heard that I feel it goes from the top to the bottom. Starts with the boss. This morning I was already hearing the little barbs from my co-workers ("so, ratting us out to the boss"). Personally, I think the boss did it partly to see if he could drive a wedge between me and the rest of the staff. Didn't seem to work, though. I think they all knew exactly what was up when the boss spoke out of turn like that. He's never done something like that to anyone at a staff meeting for as long as I've been here. His top project manager actually came in early today (I was at work at 5:30 this morning) to ask me about it and suggest that I confer with corporate folks when I transfer back about the boss's leadership problems. Turns out he has already been publicly reprimanded once for creating a hostile work environment. My lab tech has actually filed a harassment complaint against him in the past for inappropriate comments.
But I'm keeping my head down, doing my thing, counting down the days left, doing my relaxation thing, fending off stress as best I can. How's by you?
Well, it looks as if the tension at work is not going to lessen anytime soon. At yesterday's staff meeting the boss repeated something I had said to him about two or three weeks ago in a closed-door meeting and then promptly named me as the source. What I had told him when asked what I thought about the wrokplace was that I felt that the entire atmosphere around the office was very angry and hostile (not to me personally, but in general). When he asked what I thought might be the cause of it I told him that I thought he had a lot to do with it, because of his tendency to fly off the handle and chew people out before getting the facts straight. So, he dutifully trotted it out yesterday (of course, leaving out the part where I mentioned his involvement) and outed me. It was almost funny, because he rattled this off, but conveniently couldn't remember how I had phrased it and actually paused without looking at me and waited for me to fill it in. After 10 seconds of silence I spoke up and refreshed his memory. At that point, though, I made sure everyone in the room heard that I feel it goes from the top to the bottom. Starts with the boss. This morning I was already hearing the little barbs from my co-workers ("so, ratting us out to the boss"). Personally, I think the boss did it partly to see if he could drive a wedge between me and the rest of the staff. Didn't seem to work, though. I think they all knew exactly what was up when the boss spoke out of turn like that. He's never done something like that to anyone at a staff meeting for as long as I've been here. His top project manager actually came in early today (I was at work at 5:30 this morning) to ask me about it and suggest that I confer with corporate folks when I transfer back about the boss's leadership problems. Turns out he has already been publicly reprimanded once for creating a hostile work environment. My lab tech has actually filed a harassment complaint against him in the past for inappropriate comments.
But I'm keeping my head down, doing my thing, counting down the days left, doing my relaxation thing, fending off stress as best I can. How's by you?
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
SportsNight (at your own risk of whatthehell)
So, let's move on to something that I rarely comment on here, but dearly love: sports. I admit here and now that I am a sports junkie. PGA, LPGA, baseball, NCAA basketball tournament, NBA playoffs, NHL Stanley Cup, NFL...nah never mind, Soccer (played it for 15 years) any-fucking-thing (World Cup in less than three months and counting), major tennis tournies...I love it. I can watch it, I can listen to it while I'm reading a book or gardening or tanning in the back yard or driving long distance. Love. It. However...and here we come to my sport of passion...
I've been watching the Barry Bonds saga for as long as anyone and I have to admit I'm stumped. He has passed every piss test given him. Every one. Not a drop, dribble, wiggle or waggle has failed the "if it's steroids it turns pink" test. Doesn't mean he hasn't done them. Doesn't mean he wasn't jacked up on them for a while. Lord, we all know Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Albert Pujols, Rafael Palmeiro, Brady Anderson and others were drinking the fucking shit by the gallon. One got caught and no one else. So, why the big witch hunt when it comes to Bonds? I won't go the way of the race card. That's cheap and too easy (justifiable or not).
No. I'm going the way of the "you don't represent baseball in its best light" card. Bonds has never had a good relationship with the press. Aloof, sullen, picky, moody, quick to perceive slights, sort of an either/or asshole. Not an easy guy to interview. And when the MLBS needs its superheroes to step up and put their best foot forward in order to distract the media and public from the needle hitting going on, Bonds flipped the no-no finger at all of them. No-no to talks about steroids. No-no to talks about grand jury testimony. No-no to any of it. And baseball can't handle that. He is supposed to be the role model. He is supposed to break hank aaron's homerun record (and, now, they're afraid of that). He is a superstar's superstar. Major leaguers look to him as an untouchable once-in-a-generation player. But he won't play with humility. He won't speak with humility. He won't vaguely speak to past digressions and ask for forgiveness. He has told the world we can fuck off and feel better for it. It's kind of like me and my boss. I want to have a smooth ride out of here? Then shut the fuck and play ball. Or get ready for the Hammer. And Bonds is getting the Hammer. I don't know if he did anything bad. But I do know that we pay these athletes obscene amounts of money for entertainment. And they feel they deserve it based on the even more obscene amounts of money that the owners make (while they claim corporate welfare when looking to build a new stadium on the taxpayer's dime). I think that if the athletes were paid a decent wage for playing a game and the tickets to see them do so were around $5 and the hot dogs cost fucking 50 cents we wouldn't be in this predicament of players feeling the need to do whatever they have to do in order to get even the slightest edge on the competition. What it boils down to for me is the owners and their greed, the investors and their greed, and the so-called fans and OUR greed. We are the ones who force this kind of mental dementia to happen. So long as we will pay whatever it takes to see a game, so long as we pay $10 for a hot dog, so long as we buy the hats and jerseys, so long as we let the teams dictate our cities' identities based on whether they're there or not, so long as we believe that tourist money is the ultimate profit, so long as we buy into the myth that sports IS culture, so long as we buy whatever they ask us to, we are doomed to witnessing pro and college athletes do whatever it takes to get a leg up on the competition. And we will have to accept equal blame for it.
Boo Bonds all we want. Boo all of them. Most players try to make it on natural talent, but they practice omerta when it comes to those who juice it up. So, boo that as well. But remember to boo the owners, investors, sports columnists, politicians who throw that first ball, your neighbor who puts that "raider nation" sticker on his car (actually, throw eggs at that guy), and yourself every time you turn on the tv and watch a sporting event. We buy into it. We enable it. So, if you want to think of yourself as nobler and better, then turn off the fucking television. Because it's all entertainment. It's Seinfeld with extra pratfalls. It's Friends with all the sugary, smarmy, gosh-aren't-they-cute bullshit. It's Desperate housewives without the friggin' wives. And it Jeapordy with every question something we can almost answer.
Stop fucking complaining if you're going to turn on the tv next Saturday to see who's playing. It is okay to decry drug use. It is okay to decry cheating. But it's not okay to subsidize a multi-billion dollar industry and still sit on your highhorse.
I for one don't care. I want to see homeruns. But, then again, I know that steroids don't add that much power. And they don't accelerate hand/eye coordination or the ability to read a pitcher. There's an anecdote about Barry Bonds. A catcher (can't remember who now...not Santiago) was signed to the Giants and went through his physical. When he got to the vision part, the doc had him read off the chart lines on the wall. The catcher got to a point and said "shit, I can't read that. Nobody could read that'. The doc looked at him and said "one guy can'. The catcher asked who and doc replied "Barry Bonds". True story. And that's the main reason Bonds can hit anyone's pitch. Not because of steroids, but because he learned how to read. And react. And, of course, late in his career learn how to hit a lot of homeruns, have an amazing batting average, break all records for walks, have hit:homerun, homerun:at bats, and walk:at bats, rbi ratios that defy physics and almost all break records as well.
By the way, I want to see well turned double plays. I want to see the perfect strike. I want to see the double steal. I want to see the pick off and the balk and ejections. The throw out at home and the barreling in of the runner on the catcher. I want to see the double no hitter, which is anathema to tv sports. I want to see a runner picked off first base, base running blunders, a man completely slip rounding second on a sure triple, a shoestring catch in the outfield, the perfect cutoff and relay to nail the runner at home, a foul ball taken back from the crowd, manufactured runs, relief pitchers trying to staunch the bleeding...
...And now Bonds's body has finally begun to shut down. Why? Because of the use of steroids over the last years? Because whithout it he would have had to retire long before now? Because too many surgeries seem to have an adverse affect on professional athletes? Who knows? But I'll tell you this: without Bonds over the past 5 years, this game would have been barren. Except for novelties, it still is.
However, even after steroids were banned--what two years ago?--a number of payers are still using them.At first, the penalties weren't that harsh. Now, however, the MLBA is beginning to make a point. 100 game suspension for a minor leaguer. Likely, perhaps, we will not see major leaguers suffering this large a penalty. One or two maybe. As a warning. Sort of like the NBA's penalty on Ron Artest for going into the stand and starting a brawl. Not that Ron doesn't need serious social skills/anger management therapy, but the fans don't need to sign out restraining orders so long as they don't plan on throwing something at him.
Shit. Here comes the cat. I gotta go. Either I pet her now or I get no lovin' an hour before my alarm clock goes off. i know the logical answer is ignore her, but it doesn't work. Nothing does. When Her highness asks me to stroke her belly I don't stop to inquire about the Prince.
I've been watching the Barry Bonds saga for as long as anyone and I have to admit I'm stumped. He has passed every piss test given him. Every one. Not a drop, dribble, wiggle or waggle has failed the "if it's steroids it turns pink" test. Doesn't mean he hasn't done them. Doesn't mean he wasn't jacked up on them for a while. Lord, we all know Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Albert Pujols, Rafael Palmeiro, Brady Anderson and others were drinking the fucking shit by the gallon. One got caught and no one else. So, why the big witch hunt when it comes to Bonds? I won't go the way of the race card. That's cheap and too easy (justifiable or not).
No. I'm going the way of the "you don't represent baseball in its best light" card. Bonds has never had a good relationship with the press. Aloof, sullen, picky, moody, quick to perceive slights, sort of an either/or asshole. Not an easy guy to interview. And when the MLBS needs its superheroes to step up and put their best foot forward in order to distract the media and public from the needle hitting going on, Bonds flipped the no-no finger at all of them. No-no to talks about steroids. No-no to talks about grand jury testimony. No-no to any of it. And baseball can't handle that. He is supposed to be the role model. He is supposed to break hank aaron's homerun record (and, now, they're afraid of that). He is a superstar's superstar. Major leaguers look to him as an untouchable once-in-a-generation player. But he won't play with humility. He won't speak with humility. He won't vaguely speak to past digressions and ask for forgiveness. He has told the world we can fuck off and feel better for it. It's kind of like me and my boss. I want to have a smooth ride out of here? Then shut the fuck and play ball. Or get ready for the Hammer. And Bonds is getting the Hammer. I don't know if he did anything bad. But I do know that we pay these athletes obscene amounts of money for entertainment. And they feel they deserve it based on the even more obscene amounts of money that the owners make (while they claim corporate welfare when looking to build a new stadium on the taxpayer's dime). I think that if the athletes were paid a decent wage for playing a game and the tickets to see them do so were around $5 and the hot dogs cost fucking 50 cents we wouldn't be in this predicament of players feeling the need to do whatever they have to do in order to get even the slightest edge on the competition. What it boils down to for me is the owners and their greed, the investors and their greed, and the so-called fans and OUR greed. We are the ones who force this kind of mental dementia to happen. So long as we will pay whatever it takes to see a game, so long as we pay $10 for a hot dog, so long as we buy the hats and jerseys, so long as we let the teams dictate our cities' identities based on whether they're there or not, so long as we believe that tourist money is the ultimate profit, so long as we buy into the myth that sports IS culture, so long as we buy whatever they ask us to, we are doomed to witnessing pro and college athletes do whatever it takes to get a leg up on the competition. And we will have to accept equal blame for it.
Boo Bonds all we want. Boo all of them. Most players try to make it on natural talent, but they practice omerta when it comes to those who juice it up. So, boo that as well. But remember to boo the owners, investors, sports columnists, politicians who throw that first ball, your neighbor who puts that "raider nation" sticker on his car (actually, throw eggs at that guy), and yourself every time you turn on the tv and watch a sporting event. We buy into it. We enable it. So, if you want to think of yourself as nobler and better, then turn off the fucking television. Because it's all entertainment. It's Seinfeld with extra pratfalls. It's Friends with all the sugary, smarmy, gosh-aren't-they-cute bullshit. It's Desperate housewives without the friggin' wives. And it Jeapordy with every question something we can almost answer.
Stop fucking complaining if you're going to turn on the tv next Saturday to see who's playing. It is okay to decry drug use. It is okay to decry cheating. But it's not okay to subsidize a multi-billion dollar industry and still sit on your highhorse.
I for one don't care. I want to see homeruns. But, then again, I know that steroids don't add that much power. And they don't accelerate hand/eye coordination or the ability to read a pitcher. There's an anecdote about Barry Bonds. A catcher (can't remember who now...not Santiago) was signed to the Giants and went through his physical. When he got to the vision part, the doc had him read off the chart lines on the wall. The catcher got to a point and said "shit, I can't read that. Nobody could read that'. The doc looked at him and said "one guy can'. The catcher asked who and doc replied "Barry Bonds". True story. And that's the main reason Bonds can hit anyone's pitch. Not because of steroids, but because he learned how to read. And react. And, of course, late in his career learn how to hit a lot of homeruns, have an amazing batting average, break all records for walks, have hit:homerun, homerun:at bats, and walk:at bats, rbi ratios that defy physics and almost all break records as well.
By the way, I want to see well turned double plays. I want to see the perfect strike. I want to see the double steal. I want to see the pick off and the balk and ejections. The throw out at home and the barreling in of the runner on the catcher. I want to see the double no hitter, which is anathema to tv sports. I want to see a runner picked off first base, base running blunders, a man completely slip rounding second on a sure triple, a shoestring catch in the outfield, the perfect cutoff and relay to nail the runner at home, a foul ball taken back from the crowd, manufactured runs, relief pitchers trying to staunch the bleeding...
...And now Bonds's body has finally begun to shut down. Why? Because of the use of steroids over the last years? Because whithout it he would have had to retire long before now? Because too many surgeries seem to have an adverse affect on professional athletes? Who knows? But I'll tell you this: without Bonds over the past 5 years, this game would have been barren. Except for novelties, it still is.
However, even after steroids were banned--what two years ago?--a number of payers are still using them.At first, the penalties weren't that harsh. Now, however, the MLBA is beginning to make a point. 100 game suspension for a minor leaguer. Likely, perhaps, we will not see major leaguers suffering this large a penalty. One or two maybe. As a warning. Sort of like the NBA's penalty on Ron Artest for going into the stand and starting a brawl. Not that Ron doesn't need serious social skills/anger management therapy, but the fans don't need to sign out restraining orders so long as they don't plan on throwing something at him.
Shit. Here comes the cat. I gotta go. Either I pet her now or I get no lovin' an hour before my alarm clock goes off. i know the logical answer is ignore her, but it doesn't work. Nothing does. When Her highness asks me to stroke her belly I don't stop to inquire about the Prince.
New Contest For The Neighbor Girl
So, here's the deal: my high school neighbor is trying to come up with an idea for a children's book. Her story is Cinderella, but she must place it in a different culture. No requirement as to what kind. Except Nigerian. Race is not a factor, but it will be a 16 page children's book. Any ideas for a general theme or placement or type of community or...well, you get the drift.
After one full day of absolutely no battle with the rental agency...it caved without a whimper. "You're right. Your lease does end at the end of May". Didn't even have to bring out the big guns. Now, I just have to get the air conditioner back in place and arrange for a professional carpet cleaner to do the duty of shampooing my oh so dirty carpets. i have diiiirty carpets. Of course, I could just let the rental agency take care of it. I'd probably be hiring the same guys they do anyway. Plus, I need to mow the yard and do a bit of weeding. Other than that, I need to figure out a way to get the house keys back to the agency on the day i move out (I'll be driving a 16 foot truck with my car as its butt plug). And how to get two heavy futon couches into the truck the day before I move. The couches I can take care of with a beer bribe. The keys...well, that'll be tricky, because I don't want to start for home headed the wrong way on the highway. Can't leave them in the mailbox. They must be presented at the agency's office.
As for the J-O-B, well let's just say I know what it feels like to be a lame duck. Nothing happening in my lab is going through me. Everyone who is involved in its expansion is ignoring me and talking around me. Today, my boss stopped me at 4:59 in order to "fill me in" on what "they" are going to do. When we got to the sieve shaker, he said "I think we're going to move it over there, but I know you don't give a shit". I didn't reply. Should have. Should have said "How the hell do you know what I give or don't give since you haven't included me in one fucking decision over the past two weeks?". Instead, I said nothing. Just put it away in my mind's storage locker for future reference. As soon as he said that, I walked him over to a newly installed counter and told him that I wanted to move the specific gravity tank over to it and cut a new hole in the top for the cage to hang from thereby protecting the tank's water from dust when it wasn't in use. So, maybe in a sense I did tell him what I thought. I just did it in a positive manner. What a dick this guy is. No one should ever presume to know what I'm thinking, especially not him.
May have just made a deal with the high school neighbor to have her boyfriend come over and mow the lawn (it's rather intricate) tomorrow. Not holding my breath, but if I get home and it's all done he will have earned $75.
What's that you say? Where's the politics? I dunno. Did it run away or something while I wasn't looking? You mean Peace On Earth didn't descend while I was napping? Okay, I'll go look....
...Well, I was about to call it quits and tell you nothing happened today, but then I found this gem. Conservative commentators calling the Pulitzer winners for news reporting treasonous. Nice. Good to know that journalistic integrity runs through the veins of all of the pundits and talking heads. Good to know that not one of them is in the pay of the current Badministration or believes that the Fourth Estate should bow to Bush Omerta. I'm sure we'll hear more in the near future from the right wing attack dogs about this. I mean, really. Why should someone be rewarded for outing the illegal surveillance program or the rendition flights and secret torture prisons? That's just terrorist-lover talk. That's the kind of irresponsible reporting that will have double-humped camels stalking our streets within months. Have they no shame? Have they no patriotism? Don't they know they can get paid much better for just accepting Scott McClallan's morning news copy and publishing it as is? The Wall Street Journal knows this. So does the Washington Post most of the time. Why do the wannabes...oops, two of these winners ARE from the Washington Post. Should we expect to see their resignations on the boss's desk tomorrow morning? Perhaps this will wake up the editors at that, ahem, fine rag and make them want to do more stories like that one.
update: even though the temps at night this week have been in the mid to upper 30's, the mosquitoes have arrived. biguns, too. and i haven't seen my cat in a while. you don't think...nah, them skeeters ain't THAT big. is they?
After one full day of absolutely no battle with the rental agency...it caved without a whimper. "You're right. Your lease does end at the end of May". Didn't even have to bring out the big guns. Now, I just have to get the air conditioner back in place and arrange for a professional carpet cleaner to do the duty of shampooing my oh so dirty carpets. i have diiiirty carpets. Of course, I could just let the rental agency take care of it. I'd probably be hiring the same guys they do anyway. Plus, I need to mow the yard and do a bit of weeding. Other than that, I need to figure out a way to get the house keys back to the agency on the day i move out (I'll be driving a 16 foot truck with my car as its butt plug). And how to get two heavy futon couches into the truck the day before I move. The couches I can take care of with a beer bribe. The keys...well, that'll be tricky, because I don't want to start for home headed the wrong way on the highway. Can't leave them in the mailbox. They must be presented at the agency's office.
As for the J-O-B, well let's just say I know what it feels like to be a lame duck. Nothing happening in my lab is going through me. Everyone who is involved in its expansion is ignoring me and talking around me. Today, my boss stopped me at 4:59 in order to "fill me in" on what "they" are going to do. When we got to the sieve shaker, he said "I think we're going to move it over there, but I know you don't give a shit". I didn't reply. Should have. Should have said "How the hell do you know what I give or don't give since you haven't included me in one fucking decision over the past two weeks?". Instead, I said nothing. Just put it away in my mind's storage locker for future reference. As soon as he said that, I walked him over to a newly installed counter and told him that I wanted to move the specific gravity tank over to it and cut a new hole in the top for the cage to hang from thereby protecting the tank's water from dust when it wasn't in use. So, maybe in a sense I did tell him what I thought. I just did it in a positive manner. What a dick this guy is. No one should ever presume to know what I'm thinking, especially not him.
May have just made a deal with the high school neighbor to have her boyfriend come over and mow the lawn (it's rather intricate) tomorrow. Not holding my breath, but if I get home and it's all done he will have earned $75.
What's that you say? Where's the politics? I dunno. Did it run away or something while I wasn't looking? You mean Peace On Earth didn't descend while I was napping? Okay, I'll go look....
...Well, I was about to call it quits and tell you nothing happened today, but then I found this gem. Conservative commentators calling the Pulitzer winners for news reporting treasonous. Nice. Good to know that journalistic integrity runs through the veins of all of the pundits and talking heads. Good to know that not one of them is in the pay of the current Badministration or believes that the Fourth Estate should bow to Bush Omerta. I'm sure we'll hear more in the near future from the right wing attack dogs about this. I mean, really. Why should someone be rewarded for outing the illegal surveillance program or the rendition flights and secret torture prisons? That's just terrorist-lover talk. That's the kind of irresponsible reporting that will have double-humped camels stalking our streets within months. Have they no shame? Have they no patriotism? Don't they know they can get paid much better for just accepting Scott McClallan's morning news copy and publishing it as is? The Wall Street Journal knows this. So does the Washington Post most of the time. Why do the wannabes...oops, two of these winners ARE from the Washington Post. Should we expect to see their resignations on the boss's desk tomorrow morning? Perhaps this will wake up the editors at that, ahem, fine rag and make them want to do more stories like that one.
update: even though the temps at night this week have been in the mid to upper 30's, the mosquitoes have arrived. biguns, too. and i haven't seen my cat in a while. you don't think...nah, them skeeters ain't THAT big. is they?
Monday, April 17, 2006
Short Post For Now Cuz I Gotta Turn It Up And Dance!
Here's bittersweet news. Usually, it's easy to vilify those who think they are above the law and use their power and influence to fleece the public in order to line their pockets. Former Gov. Ryan doesn't quite fit the stereotype. Did he cheat the public? Did he fail his constituents? Did forget the oaths he took? Yes, yes and yes. Is he as easy to define as Tom DeLay or Scooter Libby or Katherine Harris or any of a large number of Republican politicians who have fallen into legal disarray because of their cheating ways? Not so much. Ryan won some admiration from me when he abolished the death penalty in Illinois, because he was troubled by the number of inmates being freed by new DNA tests and declared that he could not allow another execution to happen if the state could not say without a doubt that the inmate was guilty. He took a moral and lrgal stance that was and is at odds with his political party. He suffered recriminations, slings and arrows from that core group who voted him in. And he stood fast. I applauded that. I still do. Unfortunately, his sense of personal ethics stopped at the door of greed. Like muddy boots, he cast his humanity aside to enter into the den of iniquity and smoke from the communal pipe of greed. We can only hope that someone placed coins on his palm to pay the ferryman to take him to the other side. For he is now without clothes or coin. Oh, wait a minute. There are those millions of dollars that the Republican party put up for his defense. Wonder if there's some left over. He could ride the Styx in style.
So, today I took the first step toward severing my lease. Insofar as I understand it I am on solid ground legally and would win in Small Claims Court. Do I want to come back in order to attend SCC? No. So, I am trying to win this one in a "friendly". The agent actually admitted on the phone today that sometimes typos happen on contracts. She asked me to email my concerns to her and she would contact her broker. On this I'm confused. A rental agent for a house she doesn't own has a broker to cover the legalities of a lease? This agent signed the lease and signed the owners of the house on it by proxy. Oh well. She did restate that the lease began on January 1 as has always been the case in her career. Funny. All of the local rental agencies I called had never heard of not starting a lease on the day of move-in. Anyhoo:
"Thanks for calling back today. I'll try to be succinct with my concerns regarding my lease for 1735 N. Cambrian Avenue, Bremerton, Washington 98312. First, you've stated twice now in recent weeks that the lease did not begin until January 1, 2006. However, the lease clearly reads as starting on December 1, 2005. It, also, reads that it is an approximate lease and ends June 30, 2006. I understand that I initialed this. But my concern is about how to actually regard this. In all of our phone conversations leading up to my committing to the lease there was never an inference to "approximate" or that it was in actuality a seven month lease. I've spoken with several rental agencies locally and none of them have ever heard of a lease not starting on the day of move-in. I do notice that in the lease the first month is pro-rated, but it is done so at the full monthly value. So, that cannot be considered a partial month's rent.
Second, the lease states that the entire amount due for the term of the lease is $4,950. Dividing that by $825 (which is my monthly rent) equals 6. So, when I come in to pay my rent for May I will have met my financial obligation for the term of the lease. In effect, this would make June a free month's living at this address for me.
I will be moving out on May 17th, 2006. This gives you ample time to put the house back on the market and try to rent it again by June 1, 2006. You will have a good portion of May in which to show it unoccupied.
I, also, ask that you not withhold the refunding of my security deposit ($1,050) through June so long as I leave it as I found it minus normal wear and tear. While a few certain issues were not addressed during my tenure here (i.e. annual servicing of the gas fireplace, circuit breaker, broken doorbell) I am confident we will have no disagreement concerning the condition I will leave it in.
Finally, I look forward to meeting with you and discussing these issues. I believe that we can find common ground concerning these legal issues and reach a conclusion beneficial to both of us. Please call me to make such an appointment at your earliest convenience. As well, you may consider this my notice of intent to vacate by midnight on May 17th, 2006. I will hand-deliver written notification of this as well."
So, whaddya think? Well done? Or self-immolation?
So, today I took the first step toward severing my lease. Insofar as I understand it I am on solid ground legally and would win in Small Claims Court. Do I want to come back in order to attend SCC? No. So, I am trying to win this one in a "friendly". The agent actually admitted on the phone today that sometimes typos happen on contracts. She asked me to email my concerns to her and she would contact her broker. On this I'm confused. A rental agent for a house she doesn't own has a broker to cover the legalities of a lease? This agent signed the lease and signed the owners of the house on it by proxy. Oh well. She did restate that the lease began on January 1 as has always been the case in her career. Funny. All of the local rental agencies I called had never heard of not starting a lease on the day of move-in. Anyhoo:
"Thanks for calling back today. I'll try to be succinct with my concerns regarding my lease for 1735 N. Cambrian Avenue, Bremerton, Washington 98312. First, you've stated twice now in recent weeks that the lease did not begin until January 1, 2006. However, the lease clearly reads as starting on December 1, 2005. It, also, reads that it is an approximate lease and ends June 30, 2006. I understand that I initialed this. But my concern is about how to actually regard this. In all of our phone conversations leading up to my committing to the lease there was never an inference to "approximate" or that it was in actuality a seven month lease. I've spoken with several rental agencies locally and none of them have ever heard of a lease not starting on the day of move-in. I do notice that in the lease the first month is pro-rated, but it is done so at the full monthly value. So, that cannot be considered a partial month's rent.
Second, the lease states that the entire amount due for the term of the lease is $4,950. Dividing that by $825 (which is my monthly rent) equals 6. So, when I come in to pay my rent for May I will have met my financial obligation for the term of the lease. In effect, this would make June a free month's living at this address for me.
I will be moving out on May 17th, 2006. This gives you ample time to put the house back on the market and try to rent it again by June 1, 2006. You will have a good portion of May in which to show it unoccupied.
I, also, ask that you not withhold the refunding of my security deposit ($1,050) through June so long as I leave it as I found it minus normal wear and tear. While a few certain issues were not addressed during my tenure here (i.e. annual servicing of the gas fireplace, circuit breaker, broken doorbell) I am confident we will have no disagreement concerning the condition I will leave it in.
Finally, I look forward to meeting with you and discussing these issues. I believe that we can find common ground concerning these legal issues and reach a conclusion beneficial to both of us. Please call me to make such an appointment at your earliest convenience. As well, you may consider this my notice of intent to vacate by midnight on May 17th, 2006. I will hand-deliver written notification of this as well."
So, whaddya think? Well done? Or self-immolation?
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Cop A Squat
Some good news out of California (if you were able to keep your computer's moniter above the rising water level):
"Los Angeles' policy of arresting homeless people for sitting, lying or sleeping on public sidewalks as "an unavoidable consequence of being human and homeless without shelter" violates the constitutional prohibition against cruel and punishment, a federal appeals court ruled today."
So, cop a squat for justice.
Ooh. More good news. Catherine Harris is getting her ass handed to her in the latest polls.
Y'all might remember that she was the one who stopped the 2000 Florida vote recount, which ultimately led to a Supreme Court (5-4) decision that Dumbya should be the one to have his finger on the red button. i guess Floridians aren't as crazy sometimes as they mostly portray themselves to be in the media on an almost daily basis. I'm sure they'll lose their senses in time to vote her in and return to their gun-toting, serial killing, building cities for God, Jeb backing, contructing houses on moving sandbars, wondering why hurricanes keep damaging their property ways. Still, it's nice to see one of the Bush's main backers get it in the arse while spending millions of her own dollars because the Rethuglican Party has disavowed her. Personally, I think the Democrapic Party should endorse her for no better reason than to piss off and confound their ilk across the senate aisle. Plus, she seems the type who would jump ship for the chance of power.
My buddy, the fun-loving Greg Palast, sends another missive describing why Donald the Duck Rumsfeld shouldn't resign. Gregorich makes a decent point. Except for the fact that I don't care if Rummie ain't the worst. He should be escorted out just like the rest of the top bananas. In Nuremburg, it didn't seem to matter if they were just following orders. Nor did it in the case of Dr. Mudd. Why should that change here? Complicity is complicity. No matter what war, what theater, what cause, what ends. Break the law, lie to the people, punish the innocent, shoot the whistleblowers, line your pockets at the expense of those less fortunate, go to jail or into exile.
Ooh. More good news. We and the UK staged mock war games wherein we invaded Iran in 2004. Why, you ask, do I consider this good news? Simple. I can't wait until gas is $5 a gallon here and going to the Big Lots store involves monthly budget planning. Think about it. A cross-town trip would become a community event as we call all of our friends to see if they need to shop somewhere specific. If they don't, then we can't. If they do, then we can. Maybe. Because with the rise of gas costs, so goes natural gas, heating oil and electricity comes an assumed fiscal austerity program, which has been touted by Bush all along as a way to contradict most everyone's views that the War On Terror is a drain on our way of life. And when it becomes a large burden just to pay off monthly bills (excluding rent, mortgages, credit cards, insurance, groceries, laundry, and the ever evolving less social outings), we will no longer be able to jump up off the couch and rush to Blockbuster for the latest installment of Scary Movie in order to take our minds off of the War On Terror. Will CNN become the most watched news "program" at that point? Will American Idol crush its opponents, because we are forced to stay at home and watch TV? Will people start reading books again (ha, that one's a laugher)? No. We will continue to drive and consume and bitch about how we got to this point. Then we will forget to vote. Again. And we won't write to our Congresspeople. And we won't attend City or County meetings in order to air our grievances. But we'll keep going to Big Lots, because it's a discount chain, in our SUVs and bitch about how we got to this point. All the while, Bush and his masters will be dreaming up new ways in which to distract us from the fact that they have ruined our economy, enriched their friends and sullied our reputation as an inclusive society across the globe. Good news, indeed.
"Los Angeles' policy of arresting homeless people for sitting, lying or sleeping on public sidewalks as "an unavoidable consequence of being human and homeless without shelter" violates the constitutional prohibition against cruel and punishment, a federal appeals court ruled today."
So, cop a squat for justice.
Ooh. More good news. Catherine Harris is getting her ass handed to her in the latest polls.
Y'all might remember that she was the one who stopped the 2000 Florida vote recount, which ultimately led to a Supreme Court (5-4) decision that Dumbya should be the one to have his finger on the red button. i guess Floridians aren't as crazy sometimes as they mostly portray themselves to be in the media on an almost daily basis. I'm sure they'll lose their senses in time to vote her in and return to their gun-toting, serial killing, building cities for God, Jeb backing, contructing houses on moving sandbars, wondering why hurricanes keep damaging their property ways. Still, it's nice to see one of the Bush's main backers get it in the arse while spending millions of her own dollars because the Rethuglican Party has disavowed her. Personally, I think the Democrapic Party should endorse her for no better reason than to piss off and confound their ilk across the senate aisle. Plus, she seems the type who would jump ship for the chance of power.
My buddy, the fun-loving Greg Palast, sends another missive describing why Donald the Duck Rumsfeld shouldn't resign. Gregorich makes a decent point. Except for the fact that I don't care if Rummie ain't the worst. He should be escorted out just like the rest of the top bananas. In Nuremburg, it didn't seem to matter if they were just following orders. Nor did it in the case of Dr. Mudd. Why should that change here? Complicity is complicity. No matter what war, what theater, what cause, what ends. Break the law, lie to the people, punish the innocent, shoot the whistleblowers, line your pockets at the expense of those less fortunate, go to jail or into exile.
Ooh. More good news. We and the UK staged mock war games wherein we invaded Iran in 2004. Why, you ask, do I consider this good news? Simple. I can't wait until gas is $5 a gallon here and going to the Big Lots store involves monthly budget planning. Think about it. A cross-town trip would become a community event as we call all of our friends to see if they need to shop somewhere specific. If they don't, then we can't. If they do, then we can. Maybe. Because with the rise of gas costs, so goes natural gas, heating oil and electricity comes an assumed fiscal austerity program, which has been touted by Bush all along as a way to contradict most everyone's views that the War On Terror is a drain on our way of life. And when it becomes a large burden just to pay off monthly bills (excluding rent, mortgages, credit cards, insurance, groceries, laundry, and the ever evolving less social outings), we will no longer be able to jump up off the couch and rush to Blockbuster for the latest installment of Scary Movie in order to take our minds off of the War On Terror. Will CNN become the most watched news "program" at that point? Will American Idol crush its opponents, because we are forced to stay at home and watch TV? Will people start reading books again (ha, that one's a laugher)? No. We will continue to drive and consume and bitch about how we got to this point. Then we will forget to vote. Again. And we won't write to our Congresspeople. And we won't attend City or County meetings in order to air our grievances. But we'll keep going to Big Lots, because it's a discount chain, in our SUVs and bitch about how we got to this point. All the while, Bush and his masters will be dreaming up new ways in which to distract us from the fact that they have ruined our economy, enriched their friends and sullied our reputation as an inclusive society across the globe. Good news, indeed.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Holy Fromage, Batman!
Segolene Royal, perhaps the next (and first female) president of france. Now, I wait for the Pulp Fiction joke to hit. Wait for it...wait for it...By the way, she's a...I'd better whisper it...Socialist. And next door to her is the Italian president who is about to be given his formal walking papers. And he will be replaced by a...wow, I'd better whisper this one, too...left-of-centerist. Germany has somewhat gone that way already. And not. Merkel (another first female, though this time it's a chancellor) is still ping ponging as she makes heads or tails of what she inherited and who she really is. The Poodle in Britain is on very shaky ground for now as scandals continue to rock his world and confidence from the public coninues to plummet. Fortunately, he's got the Parliament to diffuse any real indepth investigation of anything whatsoever so long as they're allowed to stand and pontificate about whatever they like for as long as they like. No offense to my friend(s) across the Big Drippy, but your politicians are almost as bad and windbaggy as ours. And they know bigger words. And can speak in complex sentences. you know, like:
"My Lords, Ladies, Provincials and Peons. Today is a day in which many threads of international and domestic issues provide fertile loam for the meandering tendrils of rootish conundrums, the answers to which this humble and lackeyish servant of the House of Whiteford-upon-Stratocaster-upon-Pokemon-upon-Widmer cannot ascertain without further canoodling and flippancy at the whim and genorosity of the Commoner's purse." They might even throw in a few henceforths and herewiths and to wits.
Translation: No comment.
And i say that you are almost as windbaggy as our pols. The truth is that yours are as windbaggy as our press liaisons. Our pols have no time to speak to any of their own, much less us Commoners. Exhibit #1: the Bush Townhouse meetings. He speaks, we listen. And we listen. And when we fall asleep we're awoken (my word) and escorted out, because as everyone knows only terrorists snore when the president pontificates.
Exhibit #2: the daily Scott McClellan Press Conference, in which he repeats what he said the day before and the day before that and the day before that and I begin to wonder why the press even bothers to show up and ask questions as if they're expecting to get the truth on anything.
What I do enjoy is the fact that almost all of our pols have discovered the Thesaurus. When a word like "fallacious" shows up in a speech or response to an attack by the other party and the Religious Right doesn't step forward to condemn that kind of dirty talk.
Anyhoo, Europe is leaning a bit to the dirty little commie side for a while as is South America. And it's mostly in response to Cheney's actions and attitudes. This will change eventually. It's a cycle after all. One side gets in promising all of these changes and hits the trifecta using the Commoner's dissatisfaction with the prevailing party. Then, this party gets that first wad of cash in the mail and discovers graft is good. It's a cycle.
update (8:00 PM): Trying to leave here on good terms is becoming a very iffy thing. I got chewed out via two way radio yesterday, because my boss couldn't find a particular piece of information in my office while i wasn't there. In short order, the problem was fixed, but that didn't stop him from berating me. This man's problem is that three of us are leaving within a two month period and he practices crisis management (he actually admitted that to me twice in the past three days and claimed that it is standard for the industry...which it most defi-fucking-nately ain't). I will continue to try and maintain a professional demeanor, but this morning I had to confront him during a closed door meeting with me and my lab tech on this and tell him that his approach to things he preceives as problems could use some tempering. He tried to get my tech to leave, but I said this involved my tech as well since my boss had attacked him in past as well. Do I even need to say that it went over like a sack of bricks? Do I even need to say that my tech wanted to crawl out the door within the first thirty seconds, but afterwards thanked me for forcing the issue? My boss is not a bad person. He does, unfortunately, suffer from fear of failure syndrome, blame everyone but yourself syndrome and short man's syndrome. He is a great salesman. He is, also, a lousy leader. He manages. So, today marked a new chapter in my short tenure here. I finally lit into him about his attitude towards his employees and his approach to problems that may not actually exist. The rest of the day was politeness. Yum. I can't wait to leave.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
BushSpeak
A. He's a liar, or
2. He's never had control of his people from the get-go and found it easier to wallow in ignorance while those around him did the lying without keeping him in the loop.
Either way, he's at the top and that's where the buck is supposed to stop.
"We have found the WMD's."
"I will not tolerate leakers".
"Fuzzy math, fuzzy math."
"You're either with us or against us".
"I did not have sex with-" whoops, wrong president.
"A thousand points of light twinkling from a hundred bottles of beer on the wall."
"Fool me once, shame on--fool me again--won't get...fooled again."
"It will take time to restore order and chaos".
"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."
"But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future."
"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."
"If they pre-decease or die early, there's an asset base to be able to pass on to a loved one."
"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."
"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."
"I believe that, as quickly as possible, young cows ought to be allowed to go across our border."
"The CIA laid out several scenarios and said life could be lousy, life could be OK, life could be better, and they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like."
"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions—you can't—we're out of sanctions."
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."
"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
"[A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say."
"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America."
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
"I think war is a dangerous place."
"In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family."
"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."
"I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man."
"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."
"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."
"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right."
"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region."
"The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them."
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
"They misunderestimated me."
2. He's never had control of his people from the get-go and found it easier to wallow in ignorance while those around him did the lying without keeping him in the loop.
Either way, he's at the top and that's where the buck is supposed to stop.
"We have found the WMD's."
"I will not tolerate leakers".
"Fuzzy math, fuzzy math."
"You're either with us or against us".
"I did not have sex with-" whoops, wrong president.
"A thousand points of light twinkling from a hundred bottles of beer on the wall."
"Fool me once, shame on--fool me again--won't get...fooled again."
"It will take time to restore order and chaos".
"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."
"But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future."
"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."
"If they pre-decease or die early, there's an asset base to be able to pass on to a loved one."
"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."
"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."
"I believe that, as quickly as possible, young cows ought to be allowed to go across our border."
"The CIA laid out several scenarios and said life could be lousy, life could be OK, life could be better, and they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like."
"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions—you can't—we're out of sanctions."
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."
"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
"[A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say."
"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America."
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
"I think war is a dangerous place."
"In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family."
"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."
"I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man."
"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."
"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."
"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right."
"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region."
"The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them."
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
"They misunderestimated me."
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Yum Yum
(you know, i never actually knew how enriched uranium was made. now that iran is declaring itself a member of the nuclear gang our press is finally informing me)
"The enrichment process is one of the most difficult steps in developing a nuclear program. It requires a complicated plumbing network of pipes connecting centrifuges that can operate flawless for months or years.
The process aims to produce a gas high with an increased percentage of uranium-235, the isotope needed for nuclear fission, which is much rarer than the more prevalent isotope uranium 238.
A gas made from raw uranium is pumped into a centrifuge, which spins, causing a small portion of the heavier uranium-238 to drop away. The gas then proceeds to the next centrifuge, where the process is repeated. Then it goes to another, and another, and another, in a chain that can involve thousands of centrifuges and gradually increases the proportion of uranium-235.
The enrichment process can take years to produce a gas rich enough in uranium-235 that it can be used to power a nuclear reactor or produce a bomb. Enrichment typically starts out with a gas that is 0.7 percent uranium-235, and boosts it to either 4 percent for power generation or to 90 percent for weaponry. "
YESYESYES!!! cheney roundly and loudly booed as he throws out the first pitch before the washington nationals game. that's gotta be a first (roseanne and maisy whosit were booed after they mangled the national anthem, which does no one's musicality any favors anyway). fortunately, as thinkprogress notes, the ball hit the dirt, not someone's face.
i wasn't gonna post about this, but it's hitting the newspapers now. and it may not be going away. an attempt to jam phonelines at a democratic get out the vote hotline center that was offering rides to people in order to get them to theie polling places. we already have one conviction, two plea bargains and a massive phone bill to ken mehlman's office the day before and day of.
man, this is a lot of people:
and greg palast (a noble dirty little commie) sent me a letter today. to wit:
"America is a nation of losers. It's the best thing about us. We're the dregs,what the rest of the world barfed up and threw on our shores. John Kennedy said we are "a nation of immigrants." That's the sanitized phrase.We are, in fact, a nation of refugees who, despite the bastards in white sheets and the know-nothings in Congress, have held open the Golden Door to a dark planet. Looking out at the tempest-tossed sea of protesting immigrants today, I finally figured out what's wrong with George Walker Bush. He's so far away from his refugee loser roots that he just doesn't get what it is to be American. So he steals the one thing that every American is handed off the boat: a chance. It's not just the immigrants denied a green card. When Bush threatens to take away your Social Security; when Bush's oil wars hike the price of crude and threaten your union-scale job at the airline; when Bush tells you sleeper cells aresleeping under your staircase, you don't take chances anymore -- you lose your chance -- and the land of opportunity becomes a landscape of fear, an armed madhouse. You want to say that George W. Bush is an evil sonovabitch? I'd go further: he's UN-AMERICAN. And that's why he lost the election. Twice. I'll stick with the losers. Take one, Anna, from Poland, who snuck across the US border near Windsor, Ontario. She was grabbed by La Migra -- 80 years later --just short of her 100th birthday. My father told Immigration, "OK, send her back." They didn't. Grandma Anna taught me what two million marchers this week are trying to teach that slow learner, George W.: In America, it's not where you come from that counts, it's where you're going. "
'Nuff said.
"The enrichment process is one of the most difficult steps in developing a nuclear program. It requires a complicated plumbing network of pipes connecting centrifuges that can operate flawless for months or years.
The process aims to produce a gas high with an increased percentage of uranium-235, the isotope needed for nuclear fission, which is much rarer than the more prevalent isotope uranium 238.
A gas made from raw uranium is pumped into a centrifuge, which spins, causing a small portion of the heavier uranium-238 to drop away. The gas then proceeds to the next centrifuge, where the process is repeated. Then it goes to another, and another, and another, in a chain that can involve thousands of centrifuges and gradually increases the proportion of uranium-235.
The enrichment process can take years to produce a gas rich enough in uranium-235 that it can be used to power a nuclear reactor or produce a bomb. Enrichment typically starts out with a gas that is 0.7 percent uranium-235, and boosts it to either 4 percent for power generation or to 90 percent for weaponry. "
YESYESYES!!! cheney roundly and loudly booed as he throws out the first pitch before the washington nationals game. that's gotta be a first (roseanne and maisy whosit were booed after they mangled the national anthem, which does no one's musicality any favors anyway). fortunately, as thinkprogress notes, the ball hit the dirt, not someone's face.
i wasn't gonna post about this, but it's hitting the newspapers now. and it may not be going away. an attempt to jam phonelines at a democratic get out the vote hotline center that was offering rides to people in order to get them to theie polling places. we already have one conviction, two plea bargains and a massive phone bill to ken mehlman's office the day before and day of.
man, this is a lot of people:
and greg palast (a noble dirty little commie) sent me a letter today. to wit:"America is a nation of losers. It's the best thing about us. We're the dregs,what the rest of the world barfed up and threw on our shores. John Kennedy said we are "a nation of immigrants." That's the sanitized phrase.We are, in fact, a nation of refugees who, despite the bastards in white sheets and the know-nothings in Congress, have held open the Golden Door to a dark planet. Looking out at the tempest-tossed sea of protesting immigrants today, I finally figured out what's wrong with George Walker Bush. He's so far away from his refugee loser roots that he just doesn't get what it is to be American. So he steals the one thing that every American is handed off the boat: a chance. It's not just the immigrants denied a green card. When Bush threatens to take away your Social Security; when Bush's oil wars hike the price of crude and threaten your union-scale job at the airline; when Bush tells you sleeper cells aresleeping under your staircase, you don't take chances anymore -- you lose your chance -- and the land of opportunity becomes a landscape of fear, an armed madhouse. You want to say that George W. Bush is an evil sonovabitch? I'd go further: he's UN-AMERICAN. And that's why he lost the election. Twice. I'll stick with the losers. Take one, Anna, from Poland, who snuck across the US border near Windsor, Ontario. She was grabbed by La Migra -- 80 years later --just short of her 100th birthday. My father told Immigration, "OK, send her back." They didn't. Grandma Anna taught me what two million marchers this week are trying to teach that slow learner, George W.: In America, it's not where you come from that counts, it's where you're going. "
'Nuff said.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Smoke Me A Kipper, I'll Be Home For Breakfast. And the MOVE awards.
this lease of mine is really weird. it states that i started my lease on december 1st and it ends on the last day of june. that's seven months. the first weirdness. the agency's rationale is that they prorate the first month. well, i moved in on december 1. so, the prorate is the full monthly rent. the lease also says i am responsible for paying them $4950 during the lease. divide that by $825 (the monthly) and it equals 6. so, wouldn't june (the 7th month) be free? if i pay through may then i have done my part to honor the financial part of the lease. the agent was almost spitting at me over the phone when i asked about leaving early and demanded june as my duty. but it looks like she outsmarted herself. six months payments meets the lease requirements.
oh, and my old landlord just offered me a place and i'm sending him a check to cover may's rent so that i can move in any time that i want.
now, it's a matter of trying to finish up my lab so that it is in good working order. we just expanded and modified it and if i'm not here to work out the details of the flow of it all then it's going to be shit for a while.
and it's raining again. zonthar would love it. as do i. i will miss this weather and climate. i won't miss the complete lack of anything to do, though. so many liberals, so few brain cells. really, i think this is where they go to retire. and then you have the military who make a large part of this peninsula. they aren't so much conservative or rightwing as they are uninformed and too busy working and making babies.
oh yeah. i work with a mor(wo)man who uses the word fuck like it's going out of style. love it. breaking the stereotype. bustin' a mold.
so, jade, hold the phone. i don't know how i can pay for any of this, but i'm coming home.
smoke me a kipper, i'll be home for breakfast.
update: well, wait a minute. this means none of you win first prize in my contest. no one gets to buy me dinner. what a shame and shame on you.
win goes to chris mendes who offered me one of his places today. he doesn't know about the contest yet or what his prize is, but i'll let him in on it after i move in next month. you'd have thought he learned his lesson after the first time he rented to me. of course, i did leave a bunch of beer in the fridge along with my note about what i couldn't get cleaned up. metaphorically, he drank the apple.
place goes to stephan, because he (perhaps, no definate, ill-advisedly) offered me a room in his pad. which was awesome in its brain-farted stupidity and generosity. remember me two rogue closing night parties ago? that's me before beer.
show goes to mustang since he actually looked for places for me at his own risk (according to his description of the apartment complex he gave me). just think of him covered in gang initiation tattoos and you'll get an idea of where he thought i might want to live. and how i want him to look for next year's rogue.
so, mendes buys me dinner.
stephan drinks with me.
mustang buys me dinner, drinks with me, and...uh...pulls my hair out of my face while i puke?...gets me a taxi?...lubes up my ski boots?...agrees to take my cat to his house one night a week and let the family love it up?...dry the ink on my papyrus?...i really can't remember what the last one of these was.
4th place goes to APJ who, i think, offered me her untended garden. at no cost. any time i don't let her know.
bringing up the rear is lecram with his east is north and north is east routine. not only did ne not know where in the north-east conflict he was, but he never found the center. kudos, bravo and more luck upon you who bet on the mule this time.
the miss congeniality award goes to zonthar. what a pus.
the foreign press award goes to APJ for her creative english.
the voter's award goes to jade for her role in forming SSM's only glee club. i hadn't before thought i needed one. hindsight's 20-20, isn't it? maybe that's why i bought the harmonicas.
best dressed award goes to kamotion from a year ago again (what is it with you guys? get some handlers), because i just watched her wedding dvd again and she looks gradient.
the "got it" award goes to mustang. he'll either understand or i just completely missed on my last joke. mustang, if you don't get this dear, consult miguel.
and, finally, producer's award: me.
so glad you could attend this year's MOVE Awards. remember to vote again when you leave for Most Obnoxious Segment, Presenter, Video, Idea, Dress, Acceptance Speech, and Political Maneuver.
Please tip your bartender on the way out. Good night.
oh, and my old landlord just offered me a place and i'm sending him a check to cover may's rent so that i can move in any time that i want.
now, it's a matter of trying to finish up my lab so that it is in good working order. we just expanded and modified it and if i'm not here to work out the details of the flow of it all then it's going to be shit for a while.
and it's raining again. zonthar would love it. as do i. i will miss this weather and climate. i won't miss the complete lack of anything to do, though. so many liberals, so few brain cells. really, i think this is where they go to retire. and then you have the military who make a large part of this peninsula. they aren't so much conservative or rightwing as they are uninformed and too busy working and making babies.
oh yeah. i work with a mor(wo)man who uses the word fuck like it's going out of style. love it. breaking the stereotype. bustin' a mold.
so, jade, hold the phone. i don't know how i can pay for any of this, but i'm coming home.
smoke me a kipper, i'll be home for breakfast.
update: well, wait a minute. this means none of you win first prize in my contest. no one gets to buy me dinner. what a shame and shame on you.
win goes to chris mendes who offered me one of his places today. he doesn't know about the contest yet or what his prize is, but i'll let him in on it after i move in next month. you'd have thought he learned his lesson after the first time he rented to me. of course, i did leave a bunch of beer in the fridge along with my note about what i couldn't get cleaned up. metaphorically, he drank the apple.
place goes to stephan, because he (perhaps, no definate, ill-advisedly) offered me a room in his pad. which was awesome in its brain-farted stupidity and generosity. remember me two rogue closing night parties ago? that's me before beer.
show goes to mustang since he actually looked for places for me at his own risk (according to his description of the apartment complex he gave me). just think of him covered in gang initiation tattoos and you'll get an idea of where he thought i might want to live. and how i want him to look for next year's rogue.
so, mendes buys me dinner.
stephan drinks with me.
mustang buys me dinner, drinks with me, and...uh...pulls my hair out of my face while i puke?...gets me a taxi?...lubes up my ski boots?...agrees to take my cat to his house one night a week and let the family love it up?...dry the ink on my papyrus?...i really can't remember what the last one of these was.
4th place goes to APJ who, i think, offered me her untended garden. at no cost. any time i don't let her know.
bringing up the rear is lecram with his east is north and north is east routine. not only did ne not know where in the north-east conflict he was, but he never found the center. kudos, bravo and more luck upon you who bet on the mule this time.
the miss congeniality award goes to zonthar. what a pus.
the foreign press award goes to APJ for her creative english.
the voter's award goes to jade for her role in forming SSM's only glee club. i hadn't before thought i needed one. hindsight's 20-20, isn't it? maybe that's why i bought the harmonicas.
best dressed award goes to kamotion from a year ago again (what is it with you guys? get some handlers), because i just watched her wedding dvd again and she looks gradient.
the "got it" award goes to mustang. he'll either understand or i just completely missed on my last joke. mustang, if you don't get this dear, consult miguel.
and, finally, producer's award: me.
so glad you could attend this year's MOVE Awards. remember to vote again when you leave for Most Obnoxious Segment, Presenter, Video, Idea, Dress, Acceptance Speech, and Political Maneuver.
Please tip your bartender on the way out. Good night.
Say It Ain't So, Joe.
hmmm. do i pay for the move or do i rent a truck? the truck is way cheaper on the frontside. budget will do me for $699. but i need a tow kit for the car. that's about $125. and gas is estimated at $339.
so, do i sell everything i own and cram the little leftovers into my car? or do i go further into debt and try to maintain some kind of domestic continuity? i know what the cat would say: "toys, food, litter box, warm spot; all else is inconsequential and serves me not. now, pet me and then leave me alone. now, pet me again. wait, i changed my mind. go away. no, come back. go away. come back. go away. ooh, shiny thing."
unfortunately, i cannot afford to listen to my inner pussy. or my outer. i must make decisions soon based on finance and necessity. of course, i have to first find a domecile in which to place those items i decide to keep. based on jade's and my past experience with putting stuff in storage i opt out of that.
i must call chris m. and find out about any rentals he may have open. an agency that runs several apartment groups may have openings.
now, let's talk silence and complicity. the hell with the past. let's look to the present. someone hunt down joe lieberman and ask him why he will not stand up and say something about this newest information that dick cheney is right at the heart of the classified leaks and that he did so at the behest of george bush? i can understand republicans circling the wagons ever tighter (tighter, it seems, than physically possible), but a democrat hiding from the public? running from reporters? leaving through the back door? the one dem who has been invited to the inner sanctum of the administration's doings and briefings, because he is the dem they could count on to back them to the hilt? joe can run, but he can no longer hide. when we speak of appeasers, we speak of joe. makes me think of the movie "say anything" where all of lily's songs were about her asshole boyfriend named joe. and they were all depressed, suicidal and ultimately meaningless. still, i had to laugh. because it was all about the blind faith one puts in someone who has hurt you so bad that you have to hang on, because to let go is to admit that you have failed and wasted your dignity on a loser. so, some in this country will continue to sing joe's praises as a compromiser and uniter, because they're too invested to cede defeat. others of us were never taken in by this charletan and cringed when he was nominated as a vice president. look at his mealy mouth and it says it all. as a sidenote, did anyone watch "turner on turner"? there's a moment at the 2004 dem convention when jack turner and the camera crew catch joe. turner's handler asks joe if he remembers turner. joe's face shows confusion at first, then he shakes turner's hand and warmly says of course, how are you, gotta run, late for a meeting? joe got caught in the headlights and lied. because he can't be seen as forgetting someone. what's wrong with just saying, "um, no actually. refresh mymemory". fucking pols. sold to the highest bidder. no longer even caring about the common person. bought and paid for and every vote is a vote to pacify special interests. don't even think that a pol's vote is given at the behest of the people. if it seems like it to you, you're very gullible. all you can do is try to vote in those pols who most closely resemble how you feel. barbara boxer can surprise me once in a while. feinstein sold the farm a long time ago. jesse helms is actually one of the very few who voted as his constituents wished most of the time. but it's easier for republicans to accept massive graft and not fall out of favor with their voters. because most of the bribes offered are from megacorporations who have no interest in the environment or the homeless or the arts or education or civil rights or gas prices or the consumer index or living affordability or, well, anything to do with anything that truly affects you and me.
so, while the two parties spar over taxes and immigration and abortion and national security, you and i are left to wander further into the wilderness of being common citizens left behind by those who shape this nation with no thought to our well-being. left or right, it doesn't matter. we have been betrayed and left bereft.
and that is the silence and complicity that kills us. it's not so much us as it is them. most of us do not have the time to invest in seeking out the truth. we are too busy maintaining, too busy scratching for that little extra. and the pols know it. and they play on that. when your neighbor admits not voting or caring, he or she is not commiting a sin. he or she is copping to the common truth. we no longer feel we have the time to care about things perceived as being bigger than us or beyond our control. this is what the pols want. and it's what they've gotten. we work too much, we eat too much, we have too many children, we need too many diversions from our unhappiness. we have no energy left. we live in a nation of splendors and opportunities, but we have no energy to explore or enjoy or question. and we are now paying the ultimate price: loss of all of that.
herein ends the current apocalyptics of scarysquirrelman. feel free to tip the bartender.
so, do i sell everything i own and cram the little leftovers into my car? or do i go further into debt and try to maintain some kind of domestic continuity? i know what the cat would say: "toys, food, litter box, warm spot; all else is inconsequential and serves me not. now, pet me and then leave me alone. now, pet me again. wait, i changed my mind. go away. no, come back. go away. come back. go away. ooh, shiny thing."
unfortunately, i cannot afford to listen to my inner pussy. or my outer. i must make decisions soon based on finance and necessity. of course, i have to first find a domecile in which to place those items i decide to keep. based on jade's and my past experience with putting stuff in storage i opt out of that.
i must call chris m. and find out about any rentals he may have open. an agency that runs several apartment groups may have openings.
now, let's talk silence and complicity. the hell with the past. let's look to the present. someone hunt down joe lieberman and ask him why he will not stand up and say something about this newest information that dick cheney is right at the heart of the classified leaks and that he did so at the behest of george bush? i can understand republicans circling the wagons ever tighter (tighter, it seems, than physically possible), but a democrat hiding from the public? running from reporters? leaving through the back door? the one dem who has been invited to the inner sanctum of the administration's doings and briefings, because he is the dem they could count on to back them to the hilt? joe can run, but he can no longer hide. when we speak of appeasers, we speak of joe. makes me think of the movie "say anything" where all of lily's songs were about her asshole boyfriend named joe. and they were all depressed, suicidal and ultimately meaningless. still, i had to laugh. because it was all about the blind faith one puts in someone who has hurt you so bad that you have to hang on, because to let go is to admit that you have failed and wasted your dignity on a loser. so, some in this country will continue to sing joe's praises as a compromiser and uniter, because they're too invested to cede defeat. others of us were never taken in by this charletan and cringed when he was nominated as a vice president. look at his mealy mouth and it says it all. as a sidenote, did anyone watch "turner on turner"? there's a moment at the 2004 dem convention when jack turner and the camera crew catch joe. turner's handler asks joe if he remembers turner. joe's face shows confusion at first, then he shakes turner's hand and warmly says of course, how are you, gotta run, late for a meeting? joe got caught in the headlights and lied. because he can't be seen as forgetting someone. what's wrong with just saying, "um, no actually. refresh mymemory". fucking pols. sold to the highest bidder. no longer even caring about the common person. bought and paid for and every vote is a vote to pacify special interests. don't even think that a pol's vote is given at the behest of the people. if it seems like it to you, you're very gullible. all you can do is try to vote in those pols who most closely resemble how you feel. barbara boxer can surprise me once in a while. feinstein sold the farm a long time ago. jesse helms is actually one of the very few who voted as his constituents wished most of the time. but it's easier for republicans to accept massive graft and not fall out of favor with their voters. because most of the bribes offered are from megacorporations who have no interest in the environment or the homeless or the arts or education or civil rights or gas prices or the consumer index or living affordability or, well, anything to do with anything that truly affects you and me.
so, while the two parties spar over taxes and immigration and abortion and national security, you and i are left to wander further into the wilderness of being common citizens left behind by those who shape this nation with no thought to our well-being. left or right, it doesn't matter. we have been betrayed and left bereft.
and that is the silence and complicity that kills us. it's not so much us as it is them. most of us do not have the time to invest in seeking out the truth. we are too busy maintaining, too busy scratching for that little extra. and the pols know it. and they play on that. when your neighbor admits not voting or caring, he or she is not commiting a sin. he or she is copping to the common truth. we no longer feel we have the time to care about things perceived as being bigger than us or beyond our control. this is what the pols want. and it's what they've gotten. we work too much, we eat too much, we have too many children, we need too many diversions from our unhappiness. we have no energy left. we live in a nation of splendors and opportunities, but we have no energy to explore or enjoy or question. and we are now paying the ultimate price: loss of all of that.
herein ends the current apocalyptics of scarysquirrelman. feel free to tip the bartender.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Rainy Saturday
this may be a long post, because it's raining and windy outside today and i'm stuck inside the house with the master's tournament on a rain delay hold and i've got a halfrack of beer in the fridge. but let's get started:
sy hersh of the New Yorker has been lightyears ahead of his journalistic colleagues when it comes to getting access to administration insiders and malcontents. he's been writing for a while about the inevitability of us attacking iran. according to him, it may be time to tighten the seatbelts and batten down the hatches.
if you're an AT&T subscriber and you're using their services to do or say naughty things (or even if you're not), then you might want to read this.
if men in black sunglasses are blocking your driveway or your school bus zone make sure you've got a videocamera before attempting to engage them in dialogue. or about a hundred witnesses.
hugo chavez watch: go here to find out how he will bring down the untied states through the electoral process. and go here to find out just who was behind the fruit and vegetable pummeling of an american diplomat's car in caracas.
a three-fer here. bill frist and brokeback mountain...hilarious; jack straw kicking condi rice out of bed; and a boring (but nasty) campaign fight.
plan B contraception explained here, albeit by a professor who has no use for the right wing argument that it is actually abortion.
i've blogged before about the dearth of body armor for soldiers. i've also blogged about the government telling soldiers recently that hey had to turn in their personal body armor in exchange for government-okayed body armor. now, dailykos has some more on the effectiveness of both types. guess which type is better? yeah. it would be what the soldiers and their families were paying for out of their own pockets. not what we would have them wear.
sy hersh of the New Yorker has been lightyears ahead of his journalistic colleagues when it comes to getting access to administration insiders and malcontents. he's been writing for a while about the inevitability of us attacking iran. according to him, it may be time to tighten the seatbelts and batten down the hatches.
if you're an AT&T subscriber and you're using their services to do or say naughty things (or even if you're not), then you might want to read this.
if men in black sunglasses are blocking your driveway or your school bus zone make sure you've got a videocamera before attempting to engage them in dialogue. or about a hundred witnesses.
hugo chavez watch: go here to find out how he will bring down the untied states through the electoral process. and go here to find out just who was behind the fruit and vegetable pummeling of an american diplomat's car in caracas.
a three-fer here. bill frist and brokeback mountain...hilarious; jack straw kicking condi rice out of bed; and a boring (but nasty) campaign fight.
plan B contraception explained here, albeit by a professor who has no use for the right wing argument that it is actually abortion.
i've blogged before about the dearth of body armor for soldiers. i've also blogged about the government telling soldiers recently that hey had to turn in their personal body armor in exchange for government-okayed body armor. now, dailykos has some more on the effectiveness of both types. guess which type is better? yeah. it would be what the soldiers and their families were paying for out of their own pockets. not what we would have them wear.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Still Pissed Off, But Laughing At It All
(from 2003 shortly after the leak hit the urinal, president bush answered reporters' question regarding how he felt about the leakers who leak...can you say total hypocritical lying son of a-?)
Q Do you think that the Justice Department can conduct an impartial investigation, considering the political ramifications of the CIA leak, and why wouldn't a special counsel be better?
THE PRESIDENT: Yes. Let me just say something about leaks in Washington. There are too many leaks of classified information in Washington. There's leaks at the executive branch; there's leaks in the legislative branch. There's just too many leaks. And if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of. And so I welcome the investigation. I -- I'm absolutely confident that the Justice Department will do a very good job. There's a special division of career Justice Department officials who are tasked with doing this kind of work; they have done this kind of work before in Washington this year. I have told our administration, people in my administration to be fully cooperative. I want to know the truth. If anybody has got any information inside our administration or outside our administration, it would be helpful if they came forward with the information so we can find out whether or not these allegations are true and get on about the business. Yes, let's see, Kemper -- he's from Chicago. Where are you? Are you a Cubs or White Sox fan? (Laughter.) Wait a minute. That doesn't seem fair, does it? (Laughter.)
Q Yesterday we were told that Karl Rove had no role in it --
THE PRESIDENT: Yes.
Q -- have you talked to Karl and do you have confidence in him --
THE PRESIDENT: Listen, I know of nobody -- I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action. And this investigation is a good thing. And again I repeat, you know, Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information -- outside the administration. And we can clarify this thing very quickly if people who have got solid evidence would come forward and speak out. And I would hope they would. And then we'll get to the bottom of this and move on. But I want to tell you something -- leaks of classified information are a bad thing. And we've had them -- there's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them and I want to know who the leakers are.
(and what does this mean if the president is allowed to "declassify" intel as he sees fit? now it's not a crime and no one should be punished, because the prez authorized it? this was revenge. this was petty thuggery. leg breaking. this was the action of a man who had spit in his eye. this is a man who also has a rather large beam in it as well. this is a group that will stoop to any level to hurt others. bush, cheney and rove must go. whether it's in leg irons or simply in shame i don't care. but go they must. they make nixon look like a dime store shoplifter. and what's a blowjob in comparison to this? absolutely nothing. and wait. do i hear the rumblings of the senate and house of representatives now waking up and calling for impeachment proceedings? no, i do not. because the cowards are all still saying that you don't impeach a president in times of war, which means nerts. because we are in a "war" with no end. and a theocratic mafia is at the helm of this oh-so-offcourse ship. now, they've hit some shoals, because they didn't expect libby to break. he obeys omerta and is pardoned when bush quits. easy peasy. except that fitzgerald obviously knows the kung fu grip of death and used it. for the first time in my life i'm beginning to revisit my stance against torture. i think i now believe that all elected or politically appointed officials should be made available for "coercive" interrogations while being questioned about purportedly illegal activities. and it should be shown on tv as some sort of game show.
"i can break that spirit in three whiplashes".
"waterboarding for $200, alex".
"i'd like to buy a howl, pat".
"squeal or no squeal".
great googlymoogly, folks. what more do we need from this administration? they suck, pure and simple.)
Q Do you think that the Justice Department can conduct an impartial investigation, considering the political ramifications of the CIA leak, and why wouldn't a special counsel be better?
THE PRESIDENT: Yes. Let me just say something about leaks in Washington. There are too many leaks of classified information in Washington. There's leaks at the executive branch; there's leaks in the legislative branch. There's just too many leaks. And if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of. And so I welcome the investigation. I -- I'm absolutely confident that the Justice Department will do a very good job. There's a special division of career Justice Department officials who are tasked with doing this kind of work; they have done this kind of work before in Washington this year. I have told our administration, people in my administration to be fully cooperative. I want to know the truth. If anybody has got any information inside our administration or outside our administration, it would be helpful if they came forward with the information so we can find out whether or not these allegations are true and get on about the business. Yes, let's see, Kemper -- he's from Chicago. Where are you? Are you a Cubs or White Sox fan? (Laughter.) Wait a minute. That doesn't seem fair, does it? (Laughter.)
Q Yesterday we were told that Karl Rove had no role in it --
THE PRESIDENT: Yes.
Q -- have you talked to Karl and do you have confidence in him --
THE PRESIDENT: Listen, I know of nobody -- I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action. And this investigation is a good thing. And again I repeat, you know, Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information -- outside the administration. And we can clarify this thing very quickly if people who have got solid evidence would come forward and speak out. And I would hope they would. And then we'll get to the bottom of this and move on. But I want to tell you something -- leaks of classified information are a bad thing. And we've had them -- there's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them and I want to know who the leakers are.
(and what does this mean if the president is allowed to "declassify" intel as he sees fit? now it's not a crime and no one should be punished, because the prez authorized it? this was revenge. this was petty thuggery. leg breaking. this was the action of a man who had spit in his eye. this is a man who also has a rather large beam in it as well. this is a group that will stoop to any level to hurt others. bush, cheney and rove must go. whether it's in leg irons or simply in shame i don't care. but go they must. they make nixon look like a dime store shoplifter. and what's a blowjob in comparison to this? absolutely nothing. and wait. do i hear the rumblings of the senate and house of representatives now waking up and calling for impeachment proceedings? no, i do not. because the cowards are all still saying that you don't impeach a president in times of war, which means nerts. because we are in a "war" with no end. and a theocratic mafia is at the helm of this oh-so-offcourse ship. now, they've hit some shoals, because they didn't expect libby to break. he obeys omerta and is pardoned when bush quits. easy peasy. except that fitzgerald obviously knows the kung fu grip of death and used it. for the first time in my life i'm beginning to revisit my stance against torture. i think i now believe that all elected or politically appointed officials should be made available for "coercive" interrogations while being questioned about purportedly illegal activities. and it should be shown on tv as some sort of game show.
"i can break that spirit in three whiplashes".
"waterboarding for $200, alex".
"i'd like to buy a howl, pat".
"squeal or no squeal".
great googlymoogly, folks. what more do we need from this administration? they suck, pure and simple.)
Thursday, April 06, 2006
I'm Calling Bullshit on Alberto
hoo boy. this article by the new yawk times lays out some damning insinuations that, if proven, could actually lead to impeachment proceedings if the democrats take back congress in november. here's the sentence i found most relevant:
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said the president has the ''inherent authority to decide who should have classified information.''
so, bush can take a classified document and decide a reporter should have it in order to disseminate it to the public and, suddenly, it's legally declassified. he can take our most secret nuclear technology and hand it to bob novak to print for the world to read and it's okay, because it's bush. the president. pardon me, but
Bullshit!!!
the only time someone in government is supposed to get away with releasing classified info is when that person is reasonably sure that others are breaking the law and releasing certain info is the only way in which to make sure existing law is adhered to. it's the whistleblower protection. bush wasn't blowing any whistle. bush and cheney were retaliating for the exposure of their lies.
and here's the attorney general of the untied states claiming bush is within the law, because if he does it it must be okay. monarchs crave that kind of unilateral fucking power. and some of them never get it. this truly is a king in the making. and a theocracy. and martial law. and "let them eat cake".
you know, the democrats aren't much better on the national scene, but at least most of them know when to call it a day. right now, the republicans can't seem to fall asleep for want of more power, money, influence and immortality. maybe that's what happens when you've spent decades as the minority party. so much ground to make up, so little time, so few brain cells.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said the president has the ''inherent authority to decide who should have classified information.''
so, bush can take a classified document and decide a reporter should have it in order to disseminate it to the public and, suddenly, it's legally declassified. he can take our most secret nuclear technology and hand it to bob novak to print for the world to read and it's okay, because it's bush. the president. pardon me, but
Bullshit!!!
the only time someone in government is supposed to get away with releasing classified info is when that person is reasonably sure that others are breaking the law and releasing certain info is the only way in which to make sure existing law is adhered to. it's the whistleblower protection. bush wasn't blowing any whistle. bush and cheney were retaliating for the exposure of their lies.
and here's the attorney general of the untied states claiming bush is within the law, because if he does it it must be okay. monarchs crave that kind of unilateral fucking power. and some of them never get it. this truly is a king in the making. and a theocracy. and martial law. and "let them eat cake".
you know, the democrats aren't much better on the national scene, but at least most of them know when to call it a day. right now, the republicans can't seem to fall asleep for want of more power, money, influence and immortality. maybe that's what happens when you've spent decades as the minority party. so much ground to make up, so little time, so few brain cells.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Me, Myself and Ir-wreck
so, zonthar had a good question. why hasn't scarysquirrelman given a reason for returning and what is it?
well, i'm not saying. at least, i can't really cover the gamut.
suffice it for me to say that this was an ill-timed move. the reasons were right, the timing was not. had i waited one month i would not be up here. but that's hindsight talking. and as president bush once famously said, i prefer not to dwell on the past but to look to the future. of course, he said that in response to his failure to find WMDs in ir-wreck or a link between it and al-quaeda.
i can honestly say that the situation i was led to believe existed in this office does not, in fact, exist. i can further say that i am not a diplomatic person when it comes to dealing with bosses who have no management skills. even more so, i can say that i did not move up here to work 7 days a week and have no kind of balance between work and personal time (not that any of you would notice considering how much time i spend blogging).
certain promises were made, none were kept. certain expectations were given, none were met.
each morning i wake up and i do not look forward to going to work. this did not used to be the case. now, my first thought is "what is going to dumped on me today? how am i going to be made to think less of myself? what must i do to keep from lashing out? why do i always have to make the coffee?".
life is a gamble. this time the dice were loaded, but i placed my money down anyway. my own fault for believing in the goodness of others. mind you, this office has a great staff overall. lots of experience. but it is an angry office. and that anger has bled onto me in a very short time. and i see no way of changing the attitudes of those around me with whom i must directly work.
so, after my rogue vacation, i sat down and asked myself if being up here around all of this communal hostility was worth the payraise, the lab challenge and the chance to do something new at the expense of what happiness i brought with me from the 'No. and the answer, a couple of weeks in coming, was...'No.
the clovis office has approved my transfer. they understand that i am stuck in a lease. they will wait.
unfortunately, they may have to wait a bit longer than they or i thought. i signed a six month lease. on the phone and on the website it was a six month lease. i moved in december 1. when i signed the papers 4 days later i didn't notice that the agent had written in that the lease ended on the last day of june. and that one extra word was slipped into the jargon: "approximate". as in approximate six month lease. the agency has me dead to rights on paper. i signed a seven month lease. it's unethical certainly. but is it illegal? i'll bet not. my initials are right there on the bottom of the page. it's interesting, though, that the agent spent a lot of time going over the entire contract, but that is the one section she didn't point to. interesting, also, that when i called recently about moving out earlier then the end of may she very adamantly informed me that the lease ends in june. when i questioned this and counted up my months of tenancy she declared that she has always started leases on the first day of the second month and she's never heard of any agency ever doing otherwise. i defy any of you to find a person who's ever signed this kind of lease. not to mention that the contract stipulates that the lease began on december 1.
but there is that damned little word "approximate". i spoke with mr. geoffrey and he doesn't see how they can stretch "approximate" into an extra month. neither do i since there was no prorating done. plus, they received my first month's rent in november. and, yes, i have documented proof of that. but i have no precedent and web searches for lease laws have come up lean, very lean.
so, i will be finding a local contract lawyer to weigh my options. if worse comes to worst, then i will pay rent for june up here and down there. and suck it up. boo-rah. just watched jarhead. sorry.
just a damn good thing i've not gone on any baseball card buying binges of late. in fact, i've gone on no binge of any kind. other than food, beer and smokes. and two harmonicas (don't ask). i get up, go to work, come home, doodle on the computer, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, fall asleep on the couch. occasionally, i listen to the neighbor girls bicker. very funny. 14 and 16. definate siblings. but no spending sprees for which i used to be famous. perhaps, my subconscious was warning me.
anyhoo. there it is.
well, i'm not saying. at least, i can't really cover the gamut.
suffice it for me to say that this was an ill-timed move. the reasons were right, the timing was not. had i waited one month i would not be up here. but that's hindsight talking. and as president bush once famously said, i prefer not to dwell on the past but to look to the future. of course, he said that in response to his failure to find WMDs in ir-wreck or a link between it and al-quaeda.
i can honestly say that the situation i was led to believe existed in this office does not, in fact, exist. i can further say that i am not a diplomatic person when it comes to dealing with bosses who have no management skills. even more so, i can say that i did not move up here to work 7 days a week and have no kind of balance between work and personal time (not that any of you would notice considering how much time i spend blogging).
certain promises were made, none were kept. certain expectations were given, none were met.
each morning i wake up and i do not look forward to going to work. this did not used to be the case. now, my first thought is "what is going to dumped on me today? how am i going to be made to think less of myself? what must i do to keep from lashing out? why do i always have to make the coffee?".
life is a gamble. this time the dice were loaded, but i placed my money down anyway. my own fault for believing in the goodness of others. mind you, this office has a great staff overall. lots of experience. but it is an angry office. and that anger has bled onto me in a very short time. and i see no way of changing the attitudes of those around me with whom i must directly work.
so, after my rogue vacation, i sat down and asked myself if being up here around all of this communal hostility was worth the payraise, the lab challenge and the chance to do something new at the expense of what happiness i brought with me from the 'No. and the answer, a couple of weeks in coming, was...'No.
the clovis office has approved my transfer. they understand that i am stuck in a lease. they will wait.
unfortunately, they may have to wait a bit longer than they or i thought. i signed a six month lease. on the phone and on the website it was a six month lease. i moved in december 1. when i signed the papers 4 days later i didn't notice that the agent had written in that the lease ended on the last day of june. and that one extra word was slipped into the jargon: "approximate". as in approximate six month lease. the agency has me dead to rights on paper. i signed a seven month lease. it's unethical certainly. but is it illegal? i'll bet not. my initials are right there on the bottom of the page. it's interesting, though, that the agent spent a lot of time going over the entire contract, but that is the one section she didn't point to. interesting, also, that when i called recently about moving out earlier then the end of may she very adamantly informed me that the lease ends in june. when i questioned this and counted up my months of tenancy she declared that she has always started leases on the first day of the second month and she's never heard of any agency ever doing otherwise. i defy any of you to find a person who's ever signed this kind of lease. not to mention that the contract stipulates that the lease began on december 1.
but there is that damned little word "approximate". i spoke with mr. geoffrey and he doesn't see how they can stretch "approximate" into an extra month. neither do i since there was no prorating done. plus, they received my first month's rent in november. and, yes, i have documented proof of that. but i have no precedent and web searches for lease laws have come up lean, very lean.
so, i will be finding a local contract lawyer to weigh my options. if worse comes to worst, then i will pay rent for june up here and down there. and suck it up. boo-rah. just watched jarhead. sorry.
just a damn good thing i've not gone on any baseball card buying binges of late. in fact, i've gone on no binge of any kind. other than food, beer and smokes. and two harmonicas (don't ask). i get up, go to work, come home, doodle on the computer, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, fall asleep on the couch. occasionally, i listen to the neighbor girls bicker. very funny. 14 and 16. definate siblings. but no spending sprees for which i used to be famous. perhaps, my subconscious was warning me.
anyhoo. there it is.
The Funnies
(every now and then a family member sends me something intentionally funny. i'd seen this one before, but it never fails to get a chuckle out of me. thought i'd share it this time.)
"After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a “P”) and the solutions recorded (marked with an ”S”) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident."
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
"After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a “P”) and the solutions recorded (marked with an ”S”) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident."
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Bastards On Our Doorsteps
i wanna talk about our neighbors to the south for just a minute. has anyone been paying attention to what's been going on down there? much of the doings down there have been underreported by the press due to the flatuence issuing from ir-wreck and afghanistan.
venezuela and bolivia are now considered extremist on the same level as cuba. in peru, a leftist is leading in the polls for their next president. and in mexico, it's the same.
chavez has been sending cheap heating oil to our east coast so the poor and elderly don't freeze to death instead of having to pay exorbitant prices our government has set up. he's, also, selling his crude oil for less than market value (venezuela has the largest oil reserves outside of the middle east). plus, he just grabbed control of another foreign oil company as he redefines the terms by which greedy multinationals can do business in his country. and he's called bush a liar, cowboy, bad guy, and mr. mean. he may have said something nasty about our beloved condi rice as well. the bastard.
in bolivia, evo morales (the first indigenous person [read campesino] to win the top spot) has announced that coca cultivation is no longer illegal (long the poor person's crop of choice). and he has aligned himself squarely on the "bush sucks" side. another bastard.
in peru, ollanta humala is a retired general who led a failed coup in 2000 and is now ahead in the polls. many so-called experts say that polls are misleading and, inthis case at least, they are correct. the polls are undercounting the poor who are one of humala's biggest blocs. he, too, is anti-bush and "free trade". and he could inherit the continent's most flourishing economy. bastrad #3.
in mexico, vincente fox is not faring well with the poor. or the middle class. or the border families who have seen hundreds of their daughters disappear and then show up dead and raped. or anyone who has tried to cross the border to find better wages that they can send back to their families. and he now has a rival who is playing on all of that. you know, speaking to the oppressed masses like a craven bastard (#4).
daniel ortega, of all bastards, is looking like the front runner for president in nicaragua. remember that this is the guy who led the sandanistas to armed victory and was chased back out by our own lovely contras so we could get a peep at violeta chamorra. he survived CIA assassination attempts and in-house tries. and he was enemy numero uno for (it seems like) ever. now he's back #5.
brazil, chile and argentina, while somewhat left of center (whatever that means marketwise) are still on friendly terms with our man bush for now. but the political axis is tilting down south. and their bastards are making our bastards look stupid and colonial. and dimwitted.
and none of them are muslim. what gives. i thought we only had to fear the muslims. why aren't we being told to fear anyone of brown hue (sorry, lecram)? because there's lots and lots of them really close by. and they speak real good english real well.
venezuela and bolivia are now considered extremist on the same level as cuba. in peru, a leftist is leading in the polls for their next president. and in mexico, it's the same.
chavez has been sending cheap heating oil to our east coast so the poor and elderly don't freeze to death instead of having to pay exorbitant prices our government has set up. he's, also, selling his crude oil for less than market value (venezuela has the largest oil reserves outside of the middle east). plus, he just grabbed control of another foreign oil company as he redefines the terms by which greedy multinationals can do business in his country. and he's called bush a liar, cowboy, bad guy, and mr. mean. he may have said something nasty about our beloved condi rice as well. the bastard.
in bolivia, evo morales (the first indigenous person [read campesino] to win the top spot) has announced that coca cultivation is no longer illegal (long the poor person's crop of choice). and he has aligned himself squarely on the "bush sucks" side. another bastard.
in peru, ollanta humala is a retired general who led a failed coup in 2000 and is now ahead in the polls. many so-called experts say that polls are misleading and, inthis case at least, they are correct. the polls are undercounting the poor who are one of humala's biggest blocs. he, too, is anti-bush and "free trade". and he could inherit the continent's most flourishing economy. bastrad #3.
in mexico, vincente fox is not faring well with the poor. or the middle class. or the border families who have seen hundreds of their daughters disappear and then show up dead and raped. or anyone who has tried to cross the border to find better wages that they can send back to their families. and he now has a rival who is playing on all of that. you know, speaking to the oppressed masses like a craven bastard (#4).
daniel ortega, of all bastards, is looking like the front runner for president in nicaragua. remember that this is the guy who led the sandanistas to armed victory and was chased back out by our own lovely contras so we could get a peep at violeta chamorra. he survived CIA assassination attempts and in-house tries. and he was enemy numero uno for (it seems like) ever. now he's back #5.
brazil, chile and argentina, while somewhat left of center (whatever that means marketwise) are still on friendly terms with our man bush for now. but the political axis is tilting down south. and their bastards are making our bastards look stupid and colonial. and dimwitted.
and none of them are muslim. what gives. i thought we only had to fear the muslims. why aren't we being told to fear anyone of brown hue (sorry, lecram)? because there's lots and lots of them really close by. and they speak real good english real well.
Monday, April 03, 2006
today's forecast calls for
this is my garden. do you doubt now that i need a place to grow my seed?
"Zarqawi's role has been limited to military action. Zarqawi bowed to the orders two weeks ago and was replaced by Iraqi national Abdullah bin Rashed al-Baghdadi."
heh. baghdadi. bighdadi. that's cute. dj bighdadi.
oh, did anyone catch the last round of the LPGA Dinah Shore Classic yesterday? no? well, let me tell you that red-blooded hetero american males are now officially allowed to watch and root. i give as proof of this the following:
all in one group. all hitting awesome
this is my garden. do you doubt now that i need a place to grow my seed?
"Zarqawi's role has been limited to military action. Zarqawi bowed to the orders two weeks ago and was replaced by Iraqi national Abdullah bin Rashed al-Baghdadi."
heh. baghdadi. bighdadi. that's cute. dj bighdadi.
oh, did anyone catch the last round of the LPGA Dinah Shore Classic yesterday? no? well, let me tell you that red-blooded hetero american males are now officially allowed to watch and root. i give as proof of this the following:
all in one group. all hitting awesome
Contest Update
Contest Update:
1 vote for the north side.
1 vote for the east side.
1 cosmic meltdown by a platypus.
1 berke breathed trashing.
2 trips to the store.
1 nasty dog teasing.
1 decrepit peruvian maid.
1 unbalanced maldovian pool boy.
1 sleepy rant against disco (i feel the same way about led zepplin).
1 anonymous dittohead.
1 'bitchin' accusation.
enough snarkiness to fill an elephant's sinus cavity.
0 (zero!) valid entries.
i don't know, folks. this isn't the clearinghouse sweepstakes. no one is guaranteed to win. you have to want it. you have to try. believe in yourself and you, too, can be a winner. otherwise, it's just another missed opportunity in a life filled with them. they say that it's never too late to change the path you're on, but in this case they may be wrong. the clock's ticking, time to saddle up.
1 vote for the north side.
1 vote for the east side.
1 cosmic meltdown by a platypus.
1 berke breathed trashing.
2 trips to the store.
1 nasty dog teasing.
1 decrepit peruvian maid.
1 unbalanced maldovian pool boy.
1 sleepy rant against disco (i feel the same way about led zepplin).
1 anonymous dittohead.
1 'bitchin' accusation.
enough snarkiness to fill an elephant's sinus cavity.
0 (zero!) valid entries.
i don't know, folks. this isn't the clearinghouse sweepstakes. no one is guaranteed to win. you have to want it. you have to try. believe in yourself and you, too, can be a winner. otherwise, it's just another missed opportunity in a life filled with them. they say that it's never too late to change the path you're on, but in this case they may be wrong. the clock's ticking, time to saddle up.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Contest Ain't Over. Get On Board.
so far, my contest to help me move back to the Big Bad 'No has garnered one (1) response. and let me tell you that "move to the north side" goes directly into the recycle bin for those less fortunate, good looking, talented, popular or well groomed than me.
i await your help. i anticipate it. i expect it. why?
because i am scarysquirrelman.
beloved of the sweaty masses and feared by the powerful. so, give me a shout out. help me to move back and, by so doing, help yourself to a richer life.
i can't offer you $20 and a free hotel room like some evangelical politicians do in order to fill up the room for a fundraiser, but i can promise you rewards beyond your imagination when you go to your final dirtnap, uh, heavenly destination. God will look kindly on you for helping me to regain my celebrity status in the Big Bad 'No as the idiot token drunk who makes no sense ever, but is looked on fondly as the mistake of any festival, event, idea or bad move.
because i am scarysquirrelman.
because i speak the truth.
because i will dance to sister sledge.
because i know all of the words to shake your groove thing.
because i listen to your problems and DO NOT LAUGH...immediately.
because i CAN overact my way out of a wet paper bag.
because i will recite very bad, self-written poetry at open mic with no shame at any given moment..
because i will tend your garden when you're not looking, but never for a fee and never when you ask.
and because if you set something free and it wants to come back, it's yours. if it doesn't, it's because you didn't enter the contest and make it happen.
i am scarysquirrelman. hear me bark.
i await your help. i anticipate it. i expect it. why?
because i am scarysquirrelman.
beloved of the sweaty masses and feared by the powerful. so, give me a shout out. help me to move back and, by so doing, help yourself to a richer life.
i can't offer you $20 and a free hotel room like some evangelical politicians do in order to fill up the room for a fundraiser, but i can promise you rewards beyond your imagination when you go to your final dirtnap, uh, heavenly destination. God will look kindly on you for helping me to regain my celebrity status in the Big Bad 'No as the idiot token drunk who makes no sense ever, but is looked on fondly as the mistake of any festival, event, idea or bad move.
because i am scarysquirrelman.
because i speak the truth.
because i will dance to sister sledge.
because i know all of the words to shake your groove thing.
because i listen to your problems and DO NOT LAUGH...immediately.
because i CAN overact my way out of a wet paper bag.
because i will recite very bad, self-written poetry at open mic with no shame at any given moment..
because i will tend your garden when you're not looking, but never for a fee and never when you ask.
and because if you set something free and it wants to come back, it's yours. if it doesn't, it's because you didn't enter the contest and make it happen.
i am scarysquirrelman. hear me bark.
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