Friday Night Fights

i don't know how this happened. i remember hanging out at home, playing on the computer and throwing thumper off my lap. but i believe this is one of the reasons i tend to not answer my phone.
so, there i was deep in the home when the phone rang. it was across the room and off home base. i paused...then went for it. the voice said to meet at livingstone's for happy hour. i complied. then to veni's. then back to livingstone's. then to my place for drinks and whatnot.
and somehow...just somehow...i end up with an artist sleeping on my front porch. whatever happened to the glamour of it all? where is the foggy bottom of the mystery? why won't the snoring stop?
yeah, it was a round of drinking and i had about 6. so?
all i wanted was a good time...at home. i had that, traded it for something else, went there...twice...before i eased up and set boundaries. and thought of the general in strangelove who is all about protecting our bodily essenses and fluids.
after that, i had to piss.
now, here i am. getting ready to watch the rest of million dollar baby. it's friday night fights, you know.

chat with the preznit

well, we got us a new blogger. don't know exactly how to tell you this, but he goes by the handle of george w. bush. he's an extremely friendly fella and i encourage y'all to stop by an set a spell.
http://presidentin.blogspot.com/

Quiz Time

in the spirit of cameraderie, i offer my own version of a quiz. i expect you all to fail miserably.

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by theInterstate to breed a country-western singer?

Half Nekkid Thursday

okay, this ain't me. and it violates all of the rules of HNT. but ya know what? don't fucking care. sandra half nekkid is a lot more palatable to anyone looking in here than me not nekkid at all. tell me i'm wrong. so, sandra bullock joining the HNT crowd, because she's just that damn cool.

Depleted Uranium, Spam and The Boer

i've talked about this before, written to the paper to get the word out, researched it and put out the word via email. so, i'm not one bit surprised that soldiers are coming home sick from radiation poisoning. the number of tons of depleted uranium dumped on iraq this time around as reported by this article is even higher than experts predicted before the war began. however, the number of tons dropped in the first "war" is less (as reported by this article) than the actual truth. 1000 metric tons during the first bush war. soldiers from that war are still living through pain, chemo or have died. a workmate of mine in seattle had to have his gall bladder removed because of it and will spend the rest of his life on a very restricted diet. experts have estimated that somewhere around 500,000 iraqi children have died or will die from the D.U. "given" to them in 1991. now, we've left another 3000 or more tons. but, come on folks. do you expect any less from a government that claims our freedom is held together only because we are so "vigilant"? that is a military jingo. the truth is that once the the makers of uranium found out that D.U. would work well as projectiles they realized a very profitable alternative to storing it until its half life had passed. and damn researching any potential harm to anyone. so, iraq is now the most contaminated country on this planet. i wouldn't be surprised if it "glows" hot on xray pics from space. but we'll never know. those are government/military satellites that take those photos.
Radioactive Wounds of War
Tests on returning troops suggest serious health consequences of depleted uranium use in Iraq

as for my great spam incident, it seems those whose blogs i visited and told to stay off my site have for the nonce. i don't relish having to resort to a password in order to comment on my blog. my shit just ain't that important. i'd rather bow out of this hobby if it gets too annoying. i only started it, because my friend generik told me to get my own lack of a life and stop sending him shit he couldn't post. and he knew i wanted to rant. so, we'll see. if spam is the blog meat of the future...well, i'll continue to annoy them right back until i get tired or they go away.

And we mean to be top dog still. Bow-wow.
Yes, we mean to be top dog still.
a fascinating article from europe about us and the similarities to britain after the Boer War. it even comes with a final warning to those who would gloat.

p.s. one os the spammers i left a polite little comment with has been hit by two more regular bloggers, so i'm not the only one taking an actively hostile approach. ya mon.

Previous Post Addendum

in case you missed this little tidbit in the previous post's article, i'll replay it. because it seems this a law that our local government has not been enforcing. the word "require" is defined by the Webster's Dictionary as meaning: order, command; to demand as necessary or essential. seems pretty straightforward. require equals law. and the law sits above the elected. the law protects the land on which we stand. have the mayors and councilpeople been making deals with developers to keep the fees low and get certain buildings and businesses built in the districts? who knows? no one at city hall besides tom boyagian seems to be speaking in terms other than "hey man, this is how you get to be number one".

For years, successive mayors, city managers, development directors and city councils failed to raise the fees even to keep up with inflation. Such an increase is required every year under municipal code.

Letter To Jim Boren

I read this on the internet and wondered why I didn't see it in the Bee. I'm told the writer is a native of Fresno and has written books about Fresno and the Valley. If these fee numbers are accurate and the City's unwillingness to raise them in any logical form is as well, then this is news Fresno citizens and voters need to know about. We are being inundated with cookie cutout subdivisions, outbid and priced by Bay area expatriots and developers and are languishing in a vapid sea of chain retailers who offer nothing but dreck. If this writer's words are true and the main reason our infrastructure is being pieced together with spit, gum and safety pins is because our local elected leaders are afraid of upsetting an applecart seemingly built by the developers themselves...well, it helps explain why the public bus system is built for a town of 5000. I lived for 9 years in Seattle when I was doing my Fresno expat thing and I experienced a dedicated bus system that convinced people of all stripes and all over to work downtown. I could get to work from in the same time it would have taken me to drive- with less stress, hassle, cost and pollution. It also freed up parking for people who wanted to shop or visit businesses and help keep the downtown core vibrant and vital. It also explains why roads in Fresno are constantly being worked on on a start-and-stop basis. I work in the engineering community and often wonder why simple projects can take far too long to finish. Perhaps, if our fees were up to par, we wouldn't have been lambasted by the state for being behind in fixing intersection curbs to accommodate wheelchairs. Perhaps, we would have the funds to synch up most of the stoplights so that flow of traffic could actually be just that: a flow. Perhaps, we could help ourselves come out from under the cloud of being one of the most polluted regions in the country. This money we've not been realizing is huge in so many ways. And, to be honest, poking a stick in the eye of Big Development could send a message that those interested in Fresno had better come armed with better vision than we've seen in the last 20 or so years.

Fresno May End Low-Fee Policy for Developers
By Mark Arax
L.A. Times Staff Writer
August 23, 2005
FRESNO — In an effort to give developers one of the best deals in California, this city has dug itself into a deep financial hole that could undermine its future even as a construction boom is turning orchards into suburbs on every side of town.
As the city looks to overtake Long Beach as the fifth largest in the state, officials project a shortfall of billions of dollars to build streets, parks, police and fire stations and other facilities to serve its 470,000 residents — and the hundreds of thousands more expected in the next 20 years.
"We're facing a world of challenge," said Mike Kirn, assistant director of public works.
The reason for the shortfall is plain, city officials say: Developer fees are far lower than those charged in most other California cities.
In an era when state and federal dollars are tight and politicians are loath to raise local taxes, most cities look to developers to pay for a big share of the infrastructure required by new homes. For years, Fresno officials have been reluctant to do so.
Today, Fresno's City Council will get a first look at a plan to raise fees to build police and fire stations. If they agree to fee hikes, the move will reverse a two-decade pattern.
Through the 1990s, while comparable cities were charging builders from $7,000 to $20,000 a house for new infrastructure, the fees in Fresno stayed at $3,500. Only last year, with its infrastructure kitty in the red, did the city raise the amount to $5,000.
Commercial developers also have paid cut-rate fees. While Modesto, just up the road, collected $520,000 for a four-story office complex, Fresno charged only $90,000.
For years, successive mayors, city managers, development directors and city councils failed to raise the fees even to keep up with inflation. Such an increase is required every year under municipal code.
Critics of Fresno's approach call those low fees a billion-dollar subsidy for the building industry and blame the low payments for a host of shortfalls in city services. For instance, some city fire crews work out of mobile homes and a 1,200-square-foot duplex and park their engines in makeshift garages.
"Fresno is still a good old boy system, and whatever the good old boys want, that's what gets greased," said Tom Boyajian, a city councilman who favors higher fees. "One of the biggest shames in this city is that growth isn't even covering its own costs."
Those views, however, aren't shared by the majority of elected officials in this conservative farm belt.
If the state government took less revenue from local coffers, the city would have more money to pay for new projects, argues City Councilman Jerry Duncan. High fees drive up the costs of houses and drive off builders to even cheaper places, he and other conservatives argue. Low fees, they believe, eventually will generate enough growth to cover the new costs.
"I'm philosophically opposed to impact fees," Duncan says. "Impact fees are hidden taxes."
That school of thought has dominated this city for decades. In the mid-1990s, an FBI investigation of extensive corruption here sent 16 developers and politicians to prison and demonstrated how influential builders dominated the city's zoning and development policies. Many of those involved in the scandal were key players in keeping development fees low.
The fact that the pattern may now be giving way is the result of prodding by a new set of city administrators who are charting a different course for the city. Fresno, they say, needs to raise developer fees significantly or face an additional shortfall of several billion dollars to serve growth from now to 2025.
"Of all the cities I've worked with, Fresno faces the biggest challenge because its developers have been under-funding the infrastructure for so long," said Bob Spencer, an Oakland-based municipal finance expert recently hired by the city to update its fee program.
"Once you get as far behind as Fresno, it's almost impossible to catch up and fix the holes in your infrastructure. Not unless you're willing to raise local taxes."
Builders here acknowledge that they have lobbied to keep fees down at a time of record profits — $60,000 and more on each house. But they say their opposition to higher fees isn't driven only by bottom-line concerns. For many years, they say, the fee program was poorly run.
"They start charging a fee in Fresno, and they couldn't tell us how or why they set it up," said Mike Prandini, head of the local building industry association.
The cost to a city of each new residence depends on such factors as the location of the subdivision, its density and whether residents are commuters or retirees. But municipal finance experts say that, on average, developer fees need to be about $35,000 for each house to fully cover the costs of services.
With its patchwork services, the city's new consultants warn, Fresno may be consigned to the status of third-rate city, attractive to big-box bargain stores but not to Nordstrom.
"Good infrastructure is what the best industries and retailers are looking for when they locate to a city," said Walter Kieser, a Sacramento-based consultant who works with both developers and cities on fiscal issues.
"In Fresno, they've done such a miserable job with the roads, parks, libraries and schools that they haven't created a nice place to live. Instead, they've allowed developers to just maximize their profits."
Over the last 25 years, as the population doubled, Fresno built one new library. The park acreage for a city its size is among the lowest in the state. For example, Sacramento, which has a slightly smaller population, has 4,400 acres of parkland compared to Fresno's 1,400.
The police headquarters, built in 1960, is so cramped that several units overflow into an annex of the old City Hall. The Fire Department's main repair and maintenance division sits in a crumbling building that dates to 1928.
When it came time for developer Farid Assemi to build a fire station to serve his new subdivisions in northwest Fresno, the city allowed him to put in a tract house instead of a firehouse. Three firefighters and their single engine will soon reside there.
The transportation system struggles with its own problems. Only 10% of the traffic lights, for instance, are synchronized, adding long minutes to cross-town trips and more pollution to an air basin already ranking as the nation's smoggiest.
California Department of Transportation officials have taken the extraordinary step of suing the city. The suit cites the failure of Fresno's fee program to deal with the problems that growth causes on state highways. Fresno has risked the safety of motorists by failing to widen and improve dozens of one-lane country roads that now serve areas with dense populations, Caltrans says.
"It takes a lot for the state to sue another government entity," said Mike Leonardo, district director for Caltrans. But, he added, "Fresno doesn't seem to think it has to do environmental studies or mitigate for the impacts of growth."
Even one of the building industry's chief lobbyists, Jeff Roberts, now agrees that "the fees need to go up." In the absence of any local lobbying restrictions, Roberts, who served 14 months in federal prison for his role in the corruption scandal of the 1990s, has become a full partner with the city as it drafts a new fee program.
Because of decades of low fees, the fund managing the fees is in the red. Builders who put in the basic streets and curbs to serve their own subdivisions are spending more on infrastructure than the small amount the city requires them to pay in fees.
Not surprisingly, builders are pressing to keep the new fee on the low end — $12,000 a house. But consultants say Fresno needs to raise the fees higher to reflect the true costs of growth.
"High fees don't raise the price of homes. The market does that," said Spencer, the consultant preparing the new fee proposal. "In fact, it's the fastest-growing cities that charge the highest fees for a simple reason: They need the infrastructure to keep growing."

Addendum

after some thought of tonight's transpirations i must add and/or refute something. the site to which i referred earlier this evening on lecram's blog contains three things: photographs of dead people in iraq and afghanistan, links to pornography, and comments from people who have viewed the photographs. i said it was disgusting before. i must amend that. the photos are not disgusting. they are graphic and disturbing. they are horrific. but they are not disgusting. they show the truth of what is happening. the horror. the insanity. and the senselessness. all of those show people who died. for whatever reason. for no reason. doesn't matter. they're dead and no one is any happier because of it, not in the long run.
and i wanted to say that linking these photos to pornography is disgusting, but i can't do that. the link makes sense. both are pornographic. we look at what we hope never to see personally and make judgements. and we publicly condemn what we internally seek and make judgements. and we continue to get more of both. irony? probably not.

May the God of Your Choice Not Attack Me

depressin night. lecram shot me a phone call to talk about a site he had found that is incredibly offensive and disheartening. it's not lecram's fault that i am depressed. he knew i would want to see it. he was right.
but it got me to thinking. do we, as americans, really believe that we are always right? do we believe that (no matter the cicumstances) if someone shoots at us they must be a terrorist? an enemy? are we so set in our self-rightiousness as to know the inimitable truths of the world? when we invade a country for whatever reason we are told by our government that it is being done to defend our freedom and way of life. when we topple a government we are told it is because that entity was corrupt and an enemy of democracy. when we question the reasons we are told that to question is un-american and we can't understand the ways of global diplomacy. when we stand up and argue back we are called traitors and worse.
i can forgive a government that sees farther than i do, but can't comment because of sensitive negotiations or undercover spies who are ferreting out people who want to kill at random. i know that they have access to information i never will and it could prove to be important in defending my country. i can live with that. i, also, know that our government does things which are less than nice to others or myself in order to further an aim which it believes will make me a safer person in the long run and i can accept that, too.
what i can't forgive is a government (any government) that actively defies the will of the people in order to further its own agenda and capitulates to a small segment of a society. that depresses me and infuriates me. but i can only speak to my own.
and speak i will. saddam hussein ran iraq for decades. he was a ba'athist. they were the minority, but held power through force and murder. a bad man. not to be exalted, not to be condoned. and, yet, somehow he held onto power even as the majority hated him. why? because he controlled the military? because he held the currency? for over ten years he was castrated as a world leader by the UN and the USA through sanctions. the kurds starved. but the shias and the sunnis did not. the sunnis had no political power, but they were tolerated enough that they had no real complaints about living. their complaints were about power and the civil war that got a lot of them killed. and the fact that if they complained they might be killed.
the civil war in the USA was about representation and taxes. the south felt it was underrepresented in congress and overtaxed on its goods. it rebelled. it was eventually crushed.
the north then moved into the entire region it had burned and called its taking over of the south "reconstruction". in fact, it was an invasion. the north had beaten the south, but it wasn't enough. the north wanted to make sure that the south could never rise again. and, so, it sent "emisarries" who took and brokered land; told the south that they couldn't have slaves anymore, but to call them niggers and treat them as they wished; sent slaves back who didn't have paper proclaiming them to be free; razed farms so that the north could better prosper through less competition; hung young southern men who were merely accused of having seditious thoughts. and much more. whole islands were burnt to the dirt, because they could harbor traitors. even though the natives never had anything to do with the war.
north/south. hutu/tutsi. shia/sunni. palestinian/israeli. what gives my government the right to tell another that it can no longer exist? my government has excused or supported idi amin, general pinochet, ho chi minh, south africa, post-war russia, all of the central american dictators that it put in place, any government that put my government on the fast track to exploiting and raping. my government's hands are so, so dirty. they have been for a long, long time. just like every other government's. no government maintains its authority without bloodshed or an aquiescence to. this is the rule of power. no one is innocent. no one can point a finger without having to look in the mirror.
which is why i think we as americans find ourselves in the predicament that we do. we fucked up. we invaded a country that had nothing to with what happened on 9/11/01. our leaders either needed to go to war to show the world and us that we can't be beaten or our leaders found an easy excuse to take out a president who we hated. or it was, as the president put it, "we hit the trifecta". then, it became "you're either with us or against us". "those who claim we shouldn't be there are as good as terrorists". "mission accomplished". propaganda, propaganda, propaganda. we are hutus being seduced into thinking tutsis are animals. when we will we learn that those who hate us do so out of their own blindness, not because of nationality or skin color? just as we hate them, because we're told to and it's a hell of a lot easier than thinking as an individual? especially when my government doesn't want me to?
i prefer a populace that talks to one another even if it disagrees.

May the god of your choice bless you.

One of my favorite musician/songsters is running for Governor of Texas on an independent long shot ticket. If he wins it would be the first reason I've ever found for moving to that state. When a gentleman can pen songs like "Asshole From El Paso" and "We Reserve the Right To Refuse Service to Anyone" and "Ride 'Em Jewboy" (a song about the Holocaust) as well as pro-choice songs, love ballads, satire about women's rights, mystery novels that are damn funny and insightful; when Lyle Lovett says that this gentleman was a big influence on his career; when said gentleman can call Willie Nelson his next "Energy Czar" and tout "No Teacher Left Behind", support gay marriage because "they should have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us", thinks the Ten Commandmants should be put back in schools but retitled as the Ten Suggestions, isn't against the death penalty but is against putting-the-wrong-damn-guy-to-death penalty, then I'm firmly on the side of Kinky Friedman--a man I was fortunate enough to see in Seattle in the mid 90's. If he wins, I could finally begin to show the Lone Star state some respect. The New Yorker wrote a wonderful essay about Kinky's run for Governorship and I highly recommend it.
If, of course, you are not convinced of his potential for Governorhood, then I recommend you go here and read some of his (in)famous thoughts. Salt of the earth, damn randy, and cats are highly respected.

Last Hurrah For Uncle Duke

Hunter Thompson got his final wish as his ashes were fired from a cannon.

Cindy Sheehan

Ms. Sheehan has received the Buzzflash "Wings of Justice" award for her unstinting efforts to make King George look in the mirror and own up to his lies and propaganda that has killed many, many people. So far, she will admit that hers may be a futile effort. But she will not stop and she will not be used by either war side to further agendas that are not her own or less than honest. She is a true patriot (even though I hate that word) and American who deserves our respect even if we don't agree with her. She is Democracy in action. She personifies what it means to be American and how much it can hurt.

I Hab A Dode

just want to do a quick shout out to vicks vaporub. i have lived on this stuff anytime i've had a cold for all of my life. it is a healing elixir. congested chest, nose? dab it, smear it, rub it. all good.
but this time around my summer cold has been acting in a very funny fashion. i first felt the symptoms on the day of lecram's last meat burning. i thought it was allergies at first, but eventually i had to give in and admit that i was sick. i tried the special lecram home remedy (turn the shower on as hot as you can stand it, stick your butt in it for as long as you can stand it, then apply vicks behind the ears). that seemed to work and i felt i was on my way to kicking this cold in record time (two days). unfortunately, it returned two days after that with more congestion and a mucus buffet. being a smoker i am used to these things taking their time. but this morning at 5 i was awakened by a most godawful pain...in my ear. my throat was raw and my sinuses were blocked (i assume the raw throat was from snoring due to the sinus thingy and not due to last night's nocturnal admissions), but the weirdest part was that my left ear was totally clogged. i couldn't hear anything. and it hurt like hell. after half an hour of tossing and turning, hoping it would go away, i moved to the couch in order to get some more sleep while sitting up. eventually, the pain subsided to something liveable. i went into work this morning and found that two other people have had this cold and experienced the same ear problem. now, that's somewhat of a relief, because i thought i was going deaf. i seriously thought i had a problem beyond the cold. well, the ear has never popped today. it has been stuffed up all day long. the pain has come and gone and come again. i noticed that it would begin to hurt more when i needed to blow my nose, so it is definately connected to my sinuses...
but just now i decided to put some more vicks behind my ears to see if any change would occur and-lo and behold- it seems to be easing the pressure somewhat. not completely, but some and anything is welcome.
so, snaps to vick vaporub, which sits in an exalted place in the medicine cabinet right next to that wonder drug sayman's salve. this salve can cure cancer, i swear to god. i have yet to try it on a burn, cut, infection, fungus, ingrown toenail, skin problem, heat rash, jock itch, surface hemorrhoids or athlete's foot and not had complete satisfaction. you won't find it at your local store (though they might order it for you), but it used to be a stock item in all pharmacies and drug stores. they even came out with a soap that was supposed to be dermatologically stupendous and it disappeared as well.
so, if you are tired of looking for the next great cure for common maladies, then stop and go back in time to the two curatives that stand the test of time.
by the way, anyone have special home remedies for colds that they absolutely swear by? i can riff all day on the benefits of theraflu, but i'm asking about the remedies that your ma and pa used on you and weren't bought in a package from a store. anyone?

Friday Night Fights

Well, it's Friday night once again. THE night of the week where we're all too tired to do anything but dream of tomorrow. Because tomorrow is the stuff of dreams. Saturday. Freedom. Liberation from the sins of the workweek. The one true anarchical moment in our sea of troubled discipline. So, tonight I choose for my loud music something by the Pogues. If I must bow to my masters for 5 days a week and spend Sunday trying not to think about the doom looming then, dammit, for 45 minutes tonight I will groove to a band and frontman that encompass enough anger, angst, pathos and downright fantastic talent to fling my soul into a whirling dervish of I don't give a flying monkeyfuck who calls the cops as long as I can piss in my front yard and wiggle my wiener in spiraling arcs of daredevil ne'er-do-well while I swig beer from a sippy cup and think about taping condoms to the front door of the neighboring Catholics. Tomorrow I'll awake and quite possibly regret some (if not all) of tonight's nocturnal admissions. But that's tomorrow. Tomorrow, the day of infinity and brazen nonchalance. When that money in my pocket finally finds a match. When I can't stands it no longer and I just gotta dance.
But it's still Friday. And I look at the clock and see that it's what I would consider late on any other night of the week, because my brain is still twisted around that godawful maypole called Work. I know tomorrow is free even should I decide to go to work. It's still free, because everything I do tomorrow is my choice. No one else's. I can choose to lie on my couch and watch sports on television all afternoon. I can garden. I can hit Big Lots, all of the 99 cent stores. I can take a drive to the mountains. I can scrape the black scum out of my toilet. I can quit smoking. I can quit drinking. I can learn to be more tolerant of my friends. I can become a serial killer. Write the next great haiku. Install a despot who is sensitive to my need for semi-ripe papayas, Bombay Toast and the fertile plains of Virginia. Stare at a spiderweb up in the corner for thirty minutes wondering where the broom is. Get emotionally involved with a tomato while I slice it to death. All good.
So, you know what I've decided to do now that I'm done? I've decided...to choose. I choose all of them and I'll find out tomorrow how many I have time to actually do.

HNT Post Mortem (I'm very late)

i'm thinking of braiding my nipple hair, whaddya think? man boob need a shave? or should i let it go rasta?

Stems and Seeds

These are some quotes sent to me by friends concerning DRUGS and DRUG USE. See if you can figure out who said them (or is supposed to have since the scribe was probably as high as the speaker/writer).

* The war on drugs to me is absolutely phony; it's so obviously phony, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.

* Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?

* Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

* Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

* Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

* I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.

* You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause You know what the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrEAL fucking high on drugs... The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few songs.

* Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?

* I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)

* They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.

* Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, "Show me."

Cindy Sheehan

But the most promising avenue of attack is likely to be the one sketched out by Fox News Channel eminence Bill O’Reilly on Aug. 9, when he declared that Cindy Sheehan bears some responsibility for “other American families who have lost sons and daughters in Iraq who feel that this kind of behavior borders on treasonous.”

Cindy Sheehan arrived at the "Western White House" pretty much alone and vowed to stay there alone until our cowardly "president" came out to parlay. Since then, she has been joined by a handful of likeminded demonstrators. The media picked up on it immediately and turned it into the circus it is today. Sheehan did not start this. Sheehan was not duped by the liberal left wing or al-quaeda. She has been outspoken about the war for a long time. Now, people like Bill O'Reilly are slamming her for taking a stand. She bears responsibility for how others view her? I think not. Those who think she is doing harm to our nation can make their own stand. They can speak out on their own, for themselves. They can greet the press with placards and ribbons and pictures of Terri Schiavo and call themselves "grieving parents for war" and they would be well within their rights. And not one pundit would call them to task. Not one pundit would level charges of treason at their black-creped doorsteps. But let a mother take her grief and her beliefs to the streets in public and challenge our "president" to a High Noon meeting...well, that's just not American. In fact, it's actually more...Chinese. Remember the man who stopped an entire caravan of tanks shortly after the Tianamen Square massacre merely because he could no longer turn a blind eye to the brutal ways of his government? Remember how that became an international symbol for standing up to repressive regimes and dictatorships? How the common person could effect even a tiny bit of change? And how we all should learn a lesson from his naked bravery? How is Sheehan any different? She wants simple answers to simple questions. Methinks even Bush could handle this one without a secret microphone pack under his coat. He can disagree with her beliefs honestly and come away clean. Sheehan would probably thank him for his time and answers even if they don't sound like what she would hope for. But he doesn't. Instead, he hides on his ranch. He rides his bike and tells the press that Americans want a president who is physically fit (color me nostalgic, but I prefer one who is mentally fit). So, now appearing physically fit is the requirement for that job? That is the overriding qualification? Well then, do I have a Governor for you.
But that's getting away from the point. And the point is: what is Cindy Sheehan doing that makes her appear treasonous? What has she said that can be construed by anyone other than right wingers as anti-American or pro-Taliban or -al quaeda? She is horrified by this war and its human cost. She is horrified by the claims for war that have all been demolished by facts. She is horrified by the fact that neither Bush nor any official in his inner circle are willing to speak honestly about their mistakes and misjudgements. She is horrified that her son may have died because of lies. She is asking for clarification. She is asking for a moment of sanity. She is asking for help with the closure she can't yet find. She is grieving. She is, also, being divorced by her husband who is grieving as well. Do you think this is easy for her? Evidently, people like O'Reilly do. It must be easy, because in the world of the right wingers and those who just want reality to go away being against the war takes no courage. It takes no moral fiber. It takes no strength. It only takes a coward and a traitor and a liberal press.
Cindy Sheehan is no coward. She is no traitor. The only thing she is not is a sheep. And there is no liberal press following her around, eating up her every word. There is only a press that, like vultures, descend on the dead or dying in order to feast. Like Bill O'Reilly. The only thing that separates O'Reilly from the mainstream press is that he has no interest in the truth behind the news. He has self-interest and nothing else. The regular press will, at the least, eventually get it right. Even, though, it's often too late to fix the damage.
I just wonder what the White House will dream up next in order to harm Sheehan in the eyes of the public. Bush's popularity is as low as it can reasonably get. Good thing for him he can't run for another term. But Sheehan can continue for as long as it takes and I will support her and those like her who choose to stand as individuals and question those who are supposed to serve us.
We are the owners of this country, not the temps we vote into place.

Be Sheared And Baa Not

From E.L. Doctorow on September 9, 2004 comes this very, very (in my mind) accurate depiction of what we, as Americans, have allowed our country to become. Each of has a choice: to stand up and speak out against repression, facism, censorship, the stifling of dissent, corporate jingoism clothed in patriotism, the furtherance of the elite at the expense of the commoner...or we can be sheep who think it's easier and safer to just go with the flow, be sheared and baa not. It is the individual's choice and we all know which is the easier path. But, for my money, the easier path is the more dangerous of the two and more cowardly. It is the individual who effects change, just as it is the group who usually takes that change and turns it into sponsor dollars. But it is the sheep who baa not that allow our leaders to do what they want willnilly without having to answer to choruses of boos. We stood up once before this war began and shouted out "NO!" in one loud, common voice that resonated and was mirrored across the world. Since then, we as a people have done nothing but watch our children die in a vainglorious effort by megalomaniacs to ensure their own power into the next generation. They don't care about us. They never did. Many of the parents of those in power right now were once affiliated with the Communist party. After that, they became New Deal Democrats under Kennedy. Disillusioned by that, they became or trained their children to become what we now brand "neo-cons". They have no roots, history, culture or true experience in commitment to anything. They change like the wind if their politics blow south. They will do anything, say anything in order to regain power, because that is all they are about. And the tragedy of it all is that they make those morons who reside in the House and Senate look like saints in comparison.

"But the cry of protest was the appalled understanding of millions of people that America was ceding its role as the last best hope of mankind. It was their perception that the classic archetype of democracy was morphing into a rogue nation. The greatest democratic republic in history was turning its back on the future, using its extraordinary power and standing not to advance the ideal of a concordance of civilizations but to endorse the kind of tribal combat that originated with the Neanderthals, a people, now extinct, who could imagine ensuring their survival by no other means than pre-emptive war."

Esprit de Corpse

My great friend Generik sent me this article, which is about as juvenile as my previous post about the jumper. I hope you like it...actually, it'd be funnier if you didn't:
"I was at the Reagan Presidential Library in February of this year," he told WND. "'Dutch' was my commander in chief. I have personal interest in getting this individual and trying to protect the desecration of presidential graves against First Amendment rights."
To be honest, as soon as I stop laughing I'll try to figure out where the "rights" part plays a factor. Until then, bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
And when I die I will encourage everyone to do whatever they want on my grave (in fact, let me know what you think of). Sex would be awesome, spilling beer (a lot of beer) would be even better. Desecration? You could dig me up, prance my skeleton around in girlie undies, use my skull for an ashtray and I'd still give you a call the next weekend.

gotta love Friday. best day of the week. work is not only finished, it's done. two glorious days off to rest the weary bones, catch up on sleep, socialize, watch a movie without looking at the clock 2/3 of the way through, drink a beer for breakfast, chase the cat around the house until it's pissed and wants out, get a quarter of coke and stay up all night knowing the next day can be dozed over, make candles, buy a domain, cruise netflix, sort baseball cards into numerical order, check to make sure the air conditioner's condensor unit is on, walk out and look at the new car sitting in the driveway one more time, play "london calling" late friday night just louder than the stereo can handle, touch it without feeling rushed, go to the store and walk every aisle and play hide-the-baloney in the tofu bin.

...i'm thinking of a tattoo. a very special one. it's already drawn and hanged. a decision long in the making, but not yet decided. the ruling rests on the shoulders of those jurists who must choose that part of the anatomy that must submit. i must admit that getting involved with half nekkid thursday has made me think more on the artist i most enjoy. her name is augusta asberry. i have a poster from Seattle Folk Festival during the early to mid '90's when i worked at the Center. it was one of the festival posters and it is grand. three dancing figures. i have two of the dancers on me already...but where to put the third and final...truly a dilemma...plus, then i have to find the right tattooist. i'm not in seattle and at slave to the needle anymore. it took me 35 years to find the right artist for the first one...

and now for the news:
Jay: it'll be hothothot in the city tomorrow, but more on that later. plus, sports happened a lot today and that's coming up. but, first, this breaking news: steroids in the white house? did the deputy chief of the needle? details at 11...
[break]
it's six o'clock and in breaking new photos you will see all of the differences in michael jackson's appearance and how much this trial hurt him. Brent?
Brent: thanks Jay. plus, we'll have an interview with defendants from the case everyone is talking about.
but, now, let's go to our weather center and Harry Hagopianolopolous. harry, take it away. by the way, what's with the wig? you lose a bet?
Harry: no, Brent. good one. it's hairsuit day in new zealand and on a cold day like it is down under there i just wanted to show solidarity with the limes.
Brent: ...did you mean 'hirsute'? and 'kiwis'?
Jay: wha...?


good night.